INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

[NorksAreMessy]

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

introvert here. married to an extrovert with extrovert children, none of whom really understand my need for alone time.

anyway, hi!

Fortunately DH understands my need to be alone and takes the DC to the park regularly to run off some steam. He takes a book, I usually do some household task, spend ages on MN, or do the food shop. It works well.

Hello. Just popping in quietly to say hi. The most difficult thing for me about having children is the lack of quiet alone time. It is really hard to recharge when you don't get any time alone except when it is cutting into your (already much reduced) sleep.

Yes Haydee although getting out of bed before the DC wake so you can get on with some chores in peace, with a much needed hot cup of tea, is necessary here, I find that I get quite snappy and irritable at bedtime as I've been up for so much longer than the DC and have run out of energy.

Bath and bedtime should be quiet and restful, but it's the last hurrah from my noisy DC and DS only stops talking when he falls asleep. Then starts talking in his sleep in the early hours too!

Christmas bump. I hope everyone finds some peace this week

How's everyone managed over Christmas? I'm exhausted. Had people here Christmas Day and the following two days plus again this week
and it has absolutely taken it out of me. By the 28th I could barely speak to anyone - I think I dealt with the influx of people by just emotionally detaching, gritting my teeth and powering through it but then found it so hard to get back into normal mode.

This gets harder the older I get!

Hello everyone,

I am a (very) long time lurker on MN but have never quite plucked up the courage to post ... until now!

I've been struggling a little bit with my introversion for the last few weeks and it's starting to get me down. I started a new (temporary) job a few weeks ago and I'm mostly working with 3 women who are lovely and I get on well with. However, I'm amazed and baffled by their chattiness and ability to find so much to talk about, as well as their ability to just throw themselves into getting on with banter with the lads. There has also been several references made to how quiet I am. All of this has just highlighted my own inadequacies and the end result is I feel incredibly dull and out of place. Does anyone else torture themselves comparing themselves to others and feeling like they're not good enough?

Wow sorry that's a long post! I obviously have a lot to get off my chest

Sorry they are making you feel so crap. There is nothing wrong with you. Maybe I am just an old fart, but the last thing I would want to do at work would be banter with the lads.

If someone mentions how quiet I am, I smile and agree with them.

just been alerted to this thread - hello fellow introverts!

Not sure if it's okay to cross over this a bit, but do you find you get "sensory overload" a lot?

my issue is that I live in London and have to endure a lot of sensory overload to get out and see my friends. I am trying to cultivate friends who live closer but my really close friends are not in the local area so although we alternate, it means I sometimes groan going to see them - not because I don't love them but because it involves bus, Tube etc.

also, I have a strong preference for staying in whereas of course many Londoners feel they have access to nice bars and restaurants so would prefer to be out rather than entertain at home.

stupidly I thought this would change as we got older (I'm 40) but it hasn't. My sister will happily sit and shout in a noisy lively bar and sometimes I can feel her boredom when she comes here.

I'm a total homebody on top of being an introvert but I tend to see it all as linked.

Hello! Extrovert here, but wife of an introvert and mother of several introverts. Big fan of introverts place-marking.

Sensory overload is a real thing and I think London is scary full of it!
I live in a field, so it scares me completely when I go into a busy shop :)

I do think we become MORE of who we are as we get older, when I was younger, I would put up with all sorts of stuff to meet pals or men or socialise. It always made me uncomfortable, but it was a sort of necessary evil.

My friends now are all artists or gardeners...we have a peaceful time

Norks - I don't go to busy shops, I only really shop online.

I had hoped my friends would become a bit less lively because you do hear people saying they quieten down in middle age - but no, my sister and my best friend always want to go to the busy buzzy place while I'm frantically thinking where is the quietest place! I now pretty much refuse to go to Central London on a weekend unless it's a special occasion. In the week, on my office days, I have to be there so that's different.

DrRoberta - hope the job is going okay.

I am a talking introvert so no one ever says "you are quiet" - it's just I struggle to be in company all the time and I need my co-workers to shut up a lot of the time

Place marking, so glad I found this thread. This is me to a tee, trying to accept it's ok to be an introvert and not worry I'm just weird

My lunch date for tomorrow got cancelled
I'm actually pleased.

I have to say that cold winter days don't help with this though!

I do hope this thread hasn't died! I just discovered it, after having posted in the relationships section about not wanting to go out anymore! Have always worried that people think I'm weird and am still feeling like this even at the grand old age of 58. Sometimes I fantasise about starting all over again ina place where nobody knows me and I won't have to justify myself about being a so-called "loner."

MrsK, I'm 40 and a once a week social is enough for me. didn't see the post in relationships, is it causing issues? Hope not.

This week, I'm working at home Thursday and Friday and have no social stuff at the weekend. Only out Weds night. Yay! so four days in a row I won't have to have any pointless chit chat (apart from ringing my folks, who disapprove of my introversion but they'd go to the opening of an envelope to be sociable).

I do think tech makes a differenc, I do IM or email with friends daily.

The thread has been pootling along happily since 2012 MrsK (some kind of record, surely?), you can't kill it :)
We are just a slow-moving bunch

I've found my people, gentle wave. may I join you? In RL I people watch more than I join in and am quite happy to lurk on MN. I'm not very sociable, but quite content with my IPad or a good book.

I read Quiet last year and found it helped me to be honest about who I really am; I don't feel guilty any more if I opt out of things, and if other people don't get that, then I can accept that it's about them, not me. And I don't have to accommodate them.

This thread has been a very interesting read for me

I find it frustrating when people who don't know me very well mistake my quiet introverted-ness for shyness. I'm definitely not shy, I just like to live inside my own head a lot and listen in on the extroverts

Can I join please?

Deeply introverted, so much so that I scored 100% introversion on some tests last year . Although that made me strangely proud....

Will go and sit back in my corner again now.

Does anyone find that people don't believe you when you say you're an introvert?

I read Quiet last year and found it helped me to be honest about who I really am; I don't feel guilty any more if I opt out of things, and if other people don't get that, then I can accept that it's about them, not me.

Same for me (though I probably read the book more than a year ago). I feel more at ease with saying I don't want to go, I don't like parties or whatever.