INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

[NorksAreMessy]

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

Lovely cooler weather - storms and rain largely missed us here but some showers and winds howling under the door which make me long for the winter months. When the rain is heavy I adore sitting in our conservatory and listening to it pounding on the glass. Same kind of effect as hurrying back to the car when it's tipping it down and feeling marooned in a storm.

Off in the caravan with DP in a couple of days - going to a very touristy area so was dreading the impact of high season / sunny hot weather / school holidays. But if these showers and winds persist (so long as we get there safely) there might be walks in the rain, then coming back to the shower to get dry, cuddling up with a cup of tea, listening to the rain on the roof, catching up on reading, hiding in a corner in the pub.

Agree - it seems to be getting darker a bit earlier, not sure if that is down to the weather. Hurry up autumn!

How was the holiday, Takayama? I used to love childhood holidays in the caravan in the rain - until the awning flooded and we woke up to find ourselves in 6 inches of water!

Feeling very Autumnal here this week, already had my boots and winter coat on once!

Hello all, what a great thread! I just wanted to let everyone know that I run a meetup group (www.meetup.com) called Social Introverts in Central London. It's for introverts who want to meet other introverts in a really relaxed, friendly environment where everyone will understand if you need to leave after a couple of hours!

We had our first meetup last month and it went brilliantly. I'm going to set up another one for mid September. All are welcome, would love to see some mumsnetters there!

I've had boots and winter coat on a couple of times now. It's lovely. The only thing is, I'm finding it really hard to drive in the boots...will have to change them in the car I suppose.

I love misty mornings. Autumn is well and truly on it's way. Foggy mornings, drizzle, glittery cobwebs...lovely.

I would love to put on my boots and winter coat .

Really can't bear much more of this warm weather. I was in Brighton yesterday and felt so uncomfortable with the crowds and heat. I'm seriously contemplating a move up north next year.

What a wonderful thread - reading it feels like coming home. Have spent most of my life trying to compete/fit in with this extrovert world with results ranging from mildly successful to embarrassingly disastrous. Reading the comments here inspires me to just stop trying and to just 'be'.

I am confused by the relentless social media over-sharing. I am bewildered by the expected pace of life which seems to be just so fast and brash.

Like PPs, I'm really looking forward to autumn. So l'm just going to kick of my boots and sit here in Introvert's corner with my knitting and a cuppa spending all evening settling 14mo DS to sleep

Oh god, the oversharing on social media, I don't get it, but then again I won't. I'm not one for being the centre of attention, never have been. I find the whole thing very strange.

Yes smiles, very strange. Other things I just don't get:

Selfies (why? Don't you know what you look like? Do you think we've forgotten what you look like?)

People who talk over others or just 'take over' (so rude)

Things I DO get:

Watching storms from inside
Jigsaw puzzles
Playing the piano
Solitary walks/coffee/shopping
Absolutely all crafts/hobbies that others find boring or geeky!

To add to that list:

Reading
Walks in the woods
Autumn
firesides
candles
one to one conversation
Time to just "be"
Solitude silence

This is why I love traffic jams. It's an unexpected bonus of time to just sit and be, on your own, no pressure, no speed, no rush, just sit and be in a cosy metal box and...you have a great excuse to take your time a little more when already running late - you already have a very valid reason.

Marking my place .. I think I'm an introvert too, I've spent years wondering why I struggle in social situations.

I'll try to read through the thread now.

I'm new to this thread ... hello! I'm posting on my phone, so I'll keep this first one brief. I will need your support next week. It's half term and I'll be staying in a cottage. Great if I were there by myself. Fine to be there with partner and son. But, I'll be joined by the MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, and their 2 children. I am charging my kindle and portable dab radio.

Lightson, that sounds like a difficult week! Will there be a space you can retreat to? Good call on the kindle etc.

Oh, Lights, sympathies from me! I'm hoping for your sake they're outdoorsy types so you can have decompression time in the cottage by yourself...or/and do you think you can get away by yourself for some walks or something? I can recommend reading this whole thread next week if you can, for some comfort.

Welcome, btw

Oh lights, that is hell on earth.

Good luck.

Earphones and a vacant expression.

A sudden hankering for a 3 hour bath.

A reminder to your DH that these are his relatives and therefore not your sole responsibility for entertainment purposes.

If truly desperate then a strategically placed 'sudden headache' gets you some hiding in the bedroom time.

My sympathy, lights. Be strong

DH (also introvert) says you have to lay the groundwork for a sickie. Mention in passing how odd it is that you have started getting migraines, often when you have been busy, or there has been too much excitement.

This plants the seeds of a tactical retreat later in the holiday if needed.

You have his sympathy too.

It's horrible. One day left. No connectivity here, so difficult to post. I will not do this again . You are right - they are HIS relatives. We've gone out on days out, all bloody 9 of us, TOGETHER, every single day. Today I am determined to get time to myself. It's the last day.

Hello all. I have finally got my real NN back and am delighted to find that this thread is still going, still helping people and still getting "yes me too!" responses.
lightson that sounds like the seventh circle of hell, you have my deepest sympathy.
We have four extra people staying over Christmas. Luckily three are of the 'afternoon nap required' type, and the other one belongs to DD, so not my problem.
I think the dogs will get quite a few extra walks over Christmas :)

Every time my family get together someone will mention all going on holiday together, sharing a house or cottage or to me even worse going abroad to do it! It was enough for me all going to a show in London once' waiting for everyone to use the loo etc, trooping around the underground, the nightmare of getting drinks. Arrrrgh. ;)

I have loved this thread from afar for a long time.

Norks I am very tempted to get a dog, just for the excuse to get out and have a walk alone. At the moment I pretend to be very disorganised and constantly needing to pop to the shop for something. I also work from home, so occasionally retreat into office to listen to R4 on telephone headset.

Next August we have a Big Family Wedding. An all-weekend affair with gregarious people. MIL (also an introvert) has already announced she will sharing a room with my DC so she can go up during the party and keep an eye on them. I am beyond outraged that she has stolen my escape! I may take up smoking so I can leave the building for breaks.

I love the fact this thread is still going. It keeps disappearing for me though so I have to go and search for it every time I want to catch up.

I'm having issues at work (people-related not job-related) but had one blissful day this week where I was the only one in the office apart from my boss and it's amazing how much happier I was. Even my boss said "you love being here on your own, don't you?" That's how obvious it must have been. I'm just so much more productive when not dealing with the silliness and playground bullying that normally goes on with the others around. Just a shame it's so rare that I'm in on my own.

Luckily I have a day to myself this weekend too as DH is taking the DCs to the in-laws so I have a day of pottering / cleaning / tip runs which will no doubt be very therapeutic. Have just read an excellent book on de-cluttering by Sheila Chandra which has really motivated me to get the house organised but it's much easier when there's no one around. The house isn't too bad really, it's actually my head that needs decluttering but I'm finding as I organise the house more efficiently, it seems to be organising my brain more efficiently too, if that makes sense. By Sunday evening, I expect to be a vision of calm and tranquility. (Until Monday morning when I'm back in the lion's den at work )

Lurked on here when I first joined, never said anything though, guess thats MN for you, scary place!
I second the christmas do at work. I quit drinking a few weeks back... I honestly don't want to go! I can't very well get out of it, but I would rather stay at home watching true christmas movies!!!

Can I join in please.

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis at the moment.

I want to be alone, but its not good for me at the moment.

Espii, this is one thread that will never be a scary place!

Hermione, do you want to elaborate?

Thanks Seagulls I am a SAHM, who's lost her identity a lot!

I had a thread in relationships, on which I had some good advice, but I'm finding it hard to carve a new place in the world after looking after children when I am an introvert.

I find I am acting falsely, I am trying to be what I'm not.

I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't.

How can you make friends and have a social life, if all you want to do is be on your own, but in being on your own your becoming more and more down, lonely and isolated?