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Original poster

INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

999 replies

NorksAreMessy · 24/11/2012 23:04

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

OP posts:
Mefisto · 27/11/2013 08:13

Many happy returns. Am a still-quite-new arrival to this thread but have felt so much more at ease with myself since I found it. More Cake to all!

farrowandbawl · 27/11/2013 19:05

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!!

Everyone is in the houses, outside is practically empty, it's cold and dark, candles are lit, curtains drawn, nice warm house, hot chocolate, hot baths, warm woolly clothes...and then Christmas. We have a quiet Christmas at home, just the three of us - it's brilliant.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 28/11/2013 05:37

I have to confess we have got the Christmas CDs out already and the trees are going up this weekend.

I said I wasn't going to do it so early this year, as by Christmas Day last year I was a bit tired of picking up decorations that had been falling off the tree since 1st December but the DS are insisting that Christmas starts this Sunday!

I'm not an especially creative person, surprisingly for an introvert - I'm great with practical things, I can make stuff out of paper mâché and come up with great fancy dress outfits but crafty stuff is not usually my forte - but last weekend I took DS1 to an afternoon of making Christmas decorations and we just had the most relaxing afternoon. He's usually a whirlwind of energy but he sat for 2 hours making felt stars, decorating baubles and painting ceramics, not even chatting really just concentrating. I did the sewing on his felt star and helped with bits here and there and we both came away so happy and relaxed. Then he went home and immediately started terrorising DS2 and ruined the whole effect but it was nice while it lasted Smile

farrowandbawl · 28/11/2013 07:57

You say you are not a creative person but you are. Grin

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 28/11/2013 13:39

Well, let's put it this way, Farrow, I LIKE creative stuff I'm just not very GOOD at it Smile I can see in my head what I want the final thing to look like, I just can't translate that into reality. All my projects look like 6yo DS has done them! Quite handy when it comes to helping with holiday homework projects, it never looks like he's had any helpSmile

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 02:49

Thanks for the link to this thread Norks. Glad im not alone. Always preferred my own company most of the time but love to chat to people when im out or working. Trouble is people think me very sociable and ask me to coffee and parties and to their house. Then I feel awkward and weird cause I feel I should be like them. I think I give off one impression of myself when really im someone completely different inside. Do you know what I mean? Think that's why MN is so great cause you can chat to others without having to have them living in your pockets.

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 02:54

Always I have always hidden when the countdown to Happy New Year happens. Strange. Just don't like it.
I shall have a good read through this thread tomorrow. Im up way to late .....again.

Original poster
NorksAreMessy · 01/12/2013 07:25

Welcome milly

This thread has helped me enormously to realise that I am completely normal and that there are more people who think n a similar way than I could possibly have imagined.

The key bit of your post is 'I feel I should be like them'. That's the bit that reading 'Quiet' and working through this thread has really helped me with. I no longer feel that I 'ought' to be madly sociable and it has genuinely made me happier. When I chose to socialise it is much easier and a better experience because it is a choice not an obligation.

OP posts:
TheRaniOfYawn · 01/12/2013 08:08

I was going to say how much I love New Years parties, but them realised that as the vast majority of our friends are geeky introverts, the parties I usually go to consist of several rooms of small groups of people having interesting conversations. Upstairs, the mega introverts who don't want to talk to anyone will probably be playing some sort of online game.

Original poster
NorksAreMessy · 01/12/2013 08:30

I love the idea of a party where there are lots of little teeny tiny parties going on peacefully, instead of one gigantic noisy nightmare.

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 01/12/2013 08:44

I have had an operation and have six weeks off work. Last week was utter joy as I was alone, all day until 3, every day. Apart from when people disturbed me to clean the house, take my blood pressure or look after the children. I did enjoy it when friends came to see how I was but I lied told them I could only manage 20 minutes conversation at a time what with being all frail and poorly and covered in holes and stitches.

I have a horrible feeling I could just do this forever. How will I ever get back to work?

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 12:37

Norks .....thank you for the lovely welcome Grin
I shall get that book "Quiet". I was just saying on the other thread how I have spent my life feeling that there was something wrong with me. On the outside I appear outgoing, confident, gregarious but inside I have always felt an imposter and " just not right" and that I didn't fit in. From reading the other thread last night and coming to this thread it is as though I suddenly realise that there is nothing wrong with me Sad

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 16:16

Can I ask how many of you are only childre.?

SecretNutellaFix · 01/12/2013 17:26

I'm the eldest of two.

greenhill · 01/12/2013 17:37

I'm the eldest of two too.

Beastofburden · 01/12/2013 18:02

Eldest of three, mother of three.

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 18:05

Just wondered if it were an only child thing.....guess not. Im an only child so always saw the world slightly differently. Grew up with no cousins or relatives of any kind. Just me and my parents. Wondered if maybe being an introvert in my case was my upbringing.

TheRaniOfYawn · 01/12/2013 18:20

My parents and partner are introverts. I have an (extravert) sister, DP is the eldest of 3 brothers, my dad is the youngest of 2 and my mum is one of four siblings.

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 18:30

Thanks TheRani.

Beastofburden · 01/12/2013 19:42

My mother is an only child and she is very extrovert, she says it is to compensate for not having enough company when she was little.

Littlegreyauditor · 01/12/2013 20:42

I'm an only child, but have a very similar personality to my dad, and he is one of 11.

MillyRules · 01/12/2013 22:10

Thing is I am an only child but to everyone I appear to be an extrovert. Like your Mum Beast I have developed this extrovert personality to compensate for being very shy. Know one ever believes me to be shy. I guess I succeeded then.

Beastofburden · 02/12/2013 11:07

My Myers Briggs type is INFJ. Apparently we come across as being extroverted because we are genuinely interested in people, and it is then very confusing for others to discover just how much time we need by ourselves.

Beastofburden · 02/12/2013 11:09

Both my parents were only children. My father was like me, and my mother is the exact opposite (in this regard, not in everything).

Of my children, I have one introvert and one extrovert, and a child too disabled for me to be sure but I think introvert.

PopiusTartius · 02/12/2013 16:27

I am an only. I very deliberately taught myself social / conversational / speaking skills in my 20s, and so I'm not shy now, I can easily stand and give lectures etc.... but it DRAINS me. I always thought it was "fake it till you make it" but am just starting to realise that actually I don't have to become an extrovert (and in fact I can't) and that that is OKAY.

Have just started reading Quiet. I think it might change my life :)