Sad and lonely - all children are now off to school, what can I do ?

[poppy1973]

I thought I would post and ask mumsnetters help and advice.

I have an older child in school and my little one has started nursery 5 mornings a week. I now realise that I am missing out on socialising and meet ups and that my children lack any real regular play dates with friends from school etc.

We moved into the Gloucestershire area about a year ago, not knowing anyone and love where we live, just feel that we don't have any friends nearby.

I am a SAHM and still cannot work due to school drop offs and nursery pick up times at lunchtime, I can't find any work that would employ me for 2.5 hours everyday, so am literally stuck at home waiting to collect my little one from Nursery. I would love to find some work that I could do at home - to occupy my mind but there is never anything around.

I don't have any friends in the area, so have no one to drop in for coffee or pop to. I am a quiet reserved person so do not find it easy to chat to the other mums in the playground and they all seem to arrange playdates for the other children as they have known each other for years etc.

I feel that I should try and get out more and do other things like take up a hobby etc. any ideas. I know that I am not alone and there will be other people in the same boat - just wanted some advice. Thanks

I know how you feel. Mine are a bit older now and, like you, I don't like pushing myself forward to make friends. It always seems as if everyone knows each other and you are left out.

A few things you could do, firstly does your little one have to go to nursery every morning? Is there a parent and toddler group you can go to so you can mix with other mums rather than just drop off and pick up? I made quite a few friends this way that have carried on to school.

Secondly, if you want to arrange for children to come and play write a note to the parent and ask the teacher to put it in the child's book bag. Something along the lines of "DD has asked if (name) can come to play. If she would like to come please call me" make sure you give a number and your name then hopefully when they ring they will introduce themselves.

Thirdly, as to work etc is there a charity you could do something for? They often need admin doing or is there a local hospice / day care where you could help out? When I first moved after getting married I helped out at the Stroke Club organising outings. I enjoyed it, they were grateful to have someone younger to help and I still see several people from the group and they always stop to chat to me.

I know how hard it is when everyone else seems to have got it together and have a great time. I probably appear to be like that but really I am not, I have to work at it, it take patience and practice.

Good luck, I hope you make some friends soon.