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Original poster

A question for SAHM's

128 replies

emkana · 14/03/2006 09:44

If you're asked (by a doctor for example) "Do you work?", what do you answer?

If you have to fill out a form, what do you put down for occupation?

OP posts:
nailpolish · 14/03/2006 11:45

actually, someone i havent seen for a long time asked me recently if i work, i just said "god, no, ive got 2 girls under 4 at home"

they just nodded, dont know if it was a nod of understanding or sympathy or what

whatever it was, there was an awkward silence!

kama · 14/03/2006 15:31

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nailpolish · 14/03/2006 15:32

anthea is bringing it back into fashion though Grin

desperateSCOUSEwife · 14/03/2006 15:35

I always give my occupation as doormat
chief cook and bottle washer and slave to family.Grin

madmarchhare · 14/03/2006 15:39

I say 'yes', then wait.

It really is silly though because you know that they are asking for one of the reasons that iota posted below and not because they think you should be at home baking bread.

Far too many women get all huffy and uneccesary about this imo.

nailpolish · 14/03/2006 15:42

re iotas reason

to get time off work

i think its easier to get time off to go to the dentist etc if you have a job, than get time off if you are a sahm

my dh can make an appt whenever he likes, he just tells his boss and saunters off to the appt

i have to arrange a babysitter, weeks in advance, or else (which i usually do) take dd's (3 and 1) with me

nailpolish · 14/03/2006 15:42

that was a bit off topic sorry

PiccadillyCircus · 14/03/2006 15:49

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and can never work out what to say about my working habits (ie if I'm filling in a questionnaire that says

Full time - over 30 hours a week
Part time - up to 16 hours a week
Student
Retired
House wife/husband
Other not working

with probably other choices as well.

I normally put other not working but don't feel it is quite right.

madmarchhare · 14/03/2006 15:50

ha ha, yes, like having a day off sick as well. I havent been ill for presicely 2.3 years now, lol.

iota · 14/03/2006 15:59

NP - I was thinking of Dr needing to write medical cert to sign you off from work - obviously not required for us SAHM as we aren't allowed to have time off sick Wink

nailpolish · 14/03/2006 16:03

oh

never thought of that, sorry!

(just had a bit of a rant there earlier)

koolkat · 15/03/2006 08:11

snap - i was thinking of this the other day when i was filling in a form - i ended up putting "mother" which technically isn't an occupation, but description of a relationship
i don't like the term SAHM - it's difficult though because i don't like housewife or unemployed because - they are also misdescriptions...

FioFio · 15/03/2006 08:22

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nailpolish · 15/03/2006 08:25

you could say pt sahm i suppose

Uwila · 15/03/2006 08:38

Oh Cod, are you serious or are you just having a bit of fun trying to start a fight?

Mums who work are not full time mums?????

lockets · 15/03/2006 08:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katyp · 15/03/2006 08:50

Had a friend who used to go to lots of social things because of her dh's job and she often felt a bit left out when people started talking about work when she was a sahm. So we decided she would say she was a but was having a career break at the moment

katyp · 15/03/2006 08:51

oops didn't see your post uwilla!

katyp · 15/03/2006 08:51

I mean lockets!

Pagan · 15/03/2006 09:29

I say "harder than ever but I don't get paid". Feel quite strongly about it as I think the role of a SAHP is not given the status it should be.

In fact when registering the birth of our son, housewife or anything like it were not allowed on the form. The previous year when registering our daughter, I was still in paid employment so put that down but there is no acknowledgement in anyway of a SAH role. IT cheesed me off so much I wrote to my MSP (he replied but that was it)

AnnieSG · 15/03/2006 10:09

Can I just ask, as a working mother, how this question can be put to SAHMs without offence socially? I have often wondered this. I don't want to be a SAHM because it's hard work, frankly! But if I want to ask whether someone has another job too, I never know quite how to ask......

lockets · 15/03/2006 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hearts · 15/03/2006 10:39

I like to think I'm the Household Manager - never put it on a form though! Building society woman asked me on Sat when opening new account "do you work?" - I just laughed - "mmmm - a lot harder than I used to do thats for sure!"

canadianmum · 15/03/2006 10:47

The birth certificate one was difficult, I really didn't want to put "banker" which is what I did before, and I planned to be a SAHM and never go back to banking so ended up putting "student" as I was doing OU course at the time. :)

To be fair to those who ask "do you work?", I used to ask women that too before I had children and what I meant was "do you sit in a boring office all day and get payslips?" :o

nailpolish · 15/03/2006 11:33

annie, i dont mind people asking me, but i think the best way to put it is something like "do you stay at home or go out to work these days?"

i know its hard, im a sahm and i still find it awkward asking other people!