Great Family sayings

[Blandmum]

I can think of two in our family.

My dad, of money not being able to buy you happiness 'True, but it lets you be miserable in comfort'

My mother , over 'unplanned' pregnancies, 'If you don't want to go to Cardiff, Why get on the train?!'

What great family sayings do you family have?

If you're going to change your clothes:
"I'm going to change"
"You'll never change!"

On asking what's for dinner:
"poop on a stick and mosquitoes on toast"

If you haven't been good what you get for christmas:
"a rotten potato in a dirty sock"

LOL at the potato

A very dear friend of mine has a rather eccentric father. Despite being quite well ogg, his taste in chrsitmas gifts was eclectic to say the least- eg the best they ever got was an Argos Scales, the food weighing kind, cheapest in catalogue. Anyway, one Chrsitmas she saved a present all day, getting increasingly excited whilst her sister watched and tried to take in envy. At last after Dinner she sat be herself and unwrapped.... a potato.

Fab thread!
Reminds me of a friend's nan who always said "It'll all end in who'd've known it"

All courtesy of my Mum :

You dont get owt for nowt.
Worse things happen at sea.
Its a lazy wind - goes through you instead of round you.
Going by Shanks' pony (when having to walk somewhere).
You weren't made at St Helens you know. (When stood in the way of tv or something)
Were you born in a barn? (when left the door open).
Hobson's choice (no choice)

Oh I could go on forever!!!

A couple that are said in our house are:

If the kids ask where we are going - Nuttin
If the kids ask what have you got there/what's in that bag etc - Wimwams

Also, if one of them is complaining that her sister is sat her chair etc we say - Stop whining and stick yer thumb up yer bum and sit on yer elbow.

Also if someone has a bad chest, we say they need to smear it with 'mucky chip fat'

Don't stand there like Phil Garlic (who?).

Don't stand there grinning like a turnip lantern.

You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl.

He was as pissed as a pudding.

Cough up it might be a gold watch.

It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in.

Do you need to strain the greens? (spend a penny is the politer euphemism, I think!)

Geh kack in die yam (go shit in the sea...)

Better than a poke in the eye with a dog's dick.

Never refuse money...

"There's enough blue to make a Dutchman a pair of trousers."

Whats for tea ??..........Currant bread and rare skit (eh hello still waiting to understand that one)

What will Father Christmas bring me ??.....A doll, a drum, a kick in the bum, and a chase around the table.

What can't be cured, must be endured.

Re a not overly pretty person..........

A face like two mile of bad road.(picked that up in Yorkshire)

or

A face that would turn back a funeral. (real Dublin one)

funny...i was thinking of starting a similar thread to this...!
haven't read it all the way through but my mum, when asked what we were having for tea, always replied, "shit with sugar on"! i said this to my kids once and my 5 yr old daughter burst into tears...she's a fussy eater!
"'twasn't the cough that carried him off.'Twas the coffin they carried him off in!"!!!is one of my dad's favourite sayings when someone's got the snuffles.
"There and back to see how far it is" is one of my mum's retorts when asked where she's going. my dad always used to say,"i'm off to see the wizard" when he was off to the pub!

'Cough up it might be a gold watch. '- yep, my dad too.

And all the previous post.

Where on earth do they come from???

you're like one o'clock half struck. (my fav)

let the dog see the rabbit.

constantly - waste not, want not.

I love all the sayings like - you can't make an omlette without breaking an egg and teaching grandmothers to suck eggs.

NQC our family did Family Hold Back (i.e. don't eat anything really until the visitors have finished). BUT on one occasion my sister let the cat of the bag by asking my mother in front of the visitors "can we have a whole tomato???" oh the shame - my mother was incandescent because she had to say of course! this has become a family saying.
the other one is "you can get in any bed you like!" - our house being pretty much a flop house at the weekend and it not always being clear at bed time where, if anywhere, you were supposed to sleep.

If we were miserable - "you look like a dying duck in a thunderstorm"

If one of us was whinging for some vital childhood toy/piece of tat and using the classic "but my friend has one, why can't I?" my dad would always say "well, if walked into the Firth of Forth until their hat floated off it wouldn't mean you had to"!

Is FHB something that families who entertain a lot have? Or who are twitchy about entertaining?

My parents didn't entertain really (I was raised by wolves), and were generally not-stressed about this sort of stuff. I was 21 before I saw anyone cry because of a problem with a meal they were preparing.

DH's family entertains a lot more, but are quite stressful with it. I can see the point to FHB, but I associate it with a lot of high-stress entertaining ...

fhb - for us - was because we were pretty poor and there were a f of a lot of us. Sunday lunch was usually about 15+
i was about 13 before i got a paket of crisps all to myself. oh glad day.
they were cheesy wotsits

i remember when i was about 8 I was on the loo and my dad`shouted up to me 'have you done your rabbits?' [meaning have you fed them] and my sister's boyfriend at the time thought it meant have you had a poo. so always after that when I was on the loo there would come the cry 'Have you done your rabbits?'
MB, my dad always says that about money making you miserable in comfort too. But then he's broke and I don't believe him!

when used to keep asking mum "where are we going"??? She used to say "Up sams arse in america" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have no idea what it means and neither does she!!!

We say " don't furry burry" for don't worry.

If any of us fluffed (farted) my mum would say "oh sorry Doctor"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If someone belches in this house, they get 'More tea vicar'

About someone who is ugly - They have a face that your arm wouldn't get tired of slapping

If dh is hungry he usually says 'He could eat a scabby horse and go back for the jockey' which makes the dd's laugh.

If we were picking our noses when we were younger he used to say, 'stop doing that, you'll scratch the lining on yer cap'.

Oh reading another thread about dads going to the pub-my dad used to say when we asked him where he was going (pub) he used to retort "Aslan's on the move"!! I have no idea why this started apart form the fact that The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe was our favourite family film( the original cartoon version)
We still call him Aslan today if we know he is at the pub, even my partner-who has never asked why but calls him it anyway!

Where are we going? - 'Round my arse with a scrubbing brush.'

Standing in front of something - 'You make a better door than a window.'

We also had shit with sugar on for our tea quite frequently...

All courtsey of my Grandad who was as rough as you like and an absolute star.)

But how dad? ( As opposed to But why Dad?) - 'Hey now less of the Indian talk.'

Mum, Mum I bet Susie today at school! - 'No dear, a bet is a wager, you beat Susie today.'

Of a particular kind of pinched, uptight childless woman, my dad says

"a face like a dish of mortal sins".

Oh loads from my Nan:

'She's a face'd stand cloggin' - ugly person
'If I gave her shit wi' sugar on it, would you want some an all?' - said when a child complains of not getting any sweets
'corporation pop' - water
'You're shaping like a wet lettuce/shape yourself' - get a grip you hopeless tart

etc etc