Great Family sayings

[Blandmum]

I can think of two in our family.

My dad, of money not being able to buy you happiness 'True, but it lets you be miserable in comfort'

My mother , over 'unplanned' pregnancies, 'If you don't want to go to Cardiff, Why get on the train?!'

What great family sayings do you family have?

'if you go any slower my girl, youll be going backwards'

if youre looking a bit scruffy: 'you cant go out like that, you look like the wreck of the hesperus'

'...since the the old king died'

'...since sliced bread'

'stop crying or ill give you something to cry about'

'i brought you out to enjoy yourself. now enjoy yourself or ill hit you'

if not feeling well; 'i feel like two pennyworth of gawd 'elp us.'

some classics there i think!

'wherever you be, let the wind blow free. for 'oldin' it in will be the death o thee'

Dad...'You must be out of your tiny mind!'

This was said when we did or said something that he didnt agree with!!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth"

"up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire"

• can't think of any more atm. There are some fab ones on here - particularly love "dear God, Agnes", wilbur!

take no notice of her she's showing off/overtired

blue/blew like my nose

where's my mouftas (keys)

akki vee/yeeuch dirty

never let the sun go down on your wrath/ me from e blyton

dito if there is enough blue sky to make a sialor a pair of trousers

sure there are some welsh ones but more of the suspiciocn kind!

Here's one I like alot:
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there" - courtesy of Will Rogers

The ones that spring to mind immediately are of course in the toilet humour fashion (re, ahem, farting)

....'Better an empty house than a bad tennant.'

Also 'You can't hold what's not in your hand.'!!

The one I remember when I'm trying to be patient re waiting for something from the bank, for example, is... 'Large bodies move slowly.' That was my Granny's saying and I always think of her when I say that now.

My granny comes out with tons of phrases. Never mention prunes in front of her. They are
"black coated workers"

You see some sights when you havent got a gun

Good god ada!

Doesnt your tongue ever ache?
(great gran's response to me being a chatterbox)

and my favourite, which me and my mum use ALL the time, and dh refused to believe is a saying, thinks we made it up:

Like Piffy on a rock bun/ standing there like piffy etc

If we asked for pudding at my nans she would say it was 'wish pie with dream delight'

One that springs to mind is "It's a bit black over Bill's mother's" for when the sky is dark with coming rain/storm. Don't know who Bill is.

my mum says piffy on a rock bun! and also the wreck of the hesperus one!

also says standing there like one of lewis' ??? eh??

that'll put a red neck on ya

cough it up it might be half a crown

come on , shake a leg

ee it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey

never look a gift horse in the mouth

My dad says, of a large, hefty woman:

"Beef to the heels like a Mullingar heifer"

He will then continue in similar vein, saying things like

"Six kids and never a pout"

He only does it to wind me up.

oh god LOADS
mostly containing the word ARSE (my mother;s favourite word)
e.g. "he's seen his arse (and didn't like the look of it)" about someone who is in a mood
"he's got a face like a farmer's arse" - ditto
"you are a pair, you three" meaning obscure
"I don't know, it wisnae me" (Catch all Scottish excuse)

oh and if you say "I am going to the shops, would you lke anything?"
the response is - "get a bag of bare men and we'll split it"

"You look like a sack o' shit tied in the middle"

"you'll get what you're given and like it"

"Bread and thumpit"

"Anyway..." said in a loud voice to steer the conversation away from whatever level we have sunk to at that particular point.

"You always have to lower the tone!" said to whoever dragged the conversation to that low point and refused to give up with the "anyway" bit.

"Oh, do you remember..." as we like to talk a lot about funny things that have happened.

If you ask how long something will be (as in how much time) always about six inches

And any colour queries were always answered sky blue pink

Goodness that annoyed me!

What's for lunch - "bread and pullet (pull it)"
of bad weather "it's a bit dark over Will's mothers"
of something highly polished "shines like a bull's arse agin a wicket" (??)
about someone less than gorgeous "hit a lot of branches when he fell out of the ugly tree"

my favourite though is one of my grandmother's all time great toasts - "may you live long and die happy". Can't say fairer than that!

my mother also says about someone who is, shall we say, less than attractive:
he looks like his face went on fire and someone put it out with a shovel

It might be in the garden or not as the case might be. - Don't ask me where this comes from but it is surprisingly useful.

Not at the table! from my mum when someone starts to recount a grisly story.

No bl**dy relation - used by my very proper granny.

Oh, do other people's families have FHB (family hold back - as in, there isn't enough, so family folks don't get much/any) at dinner? Or is that just DH's?

Sorry If I'm reapeating anyone, but this is one from my Great Grandma
Me: "Oh but it's raining outside, i don't want to go out"
GG "go on - off wi' ya. Its only rain you won't melt!"
I still say it myself sometimes!