As a parent, what "issues" annoy you the most?

[willow2]

OK, what is it that gets you ranting? Holiday prices, education reforms, the state of the maternity service? What would you change most, if you could? Discuss...

[goodenoughmummy]

Those sections of the media who assume that if you have a child over the age of 35 it's because you have deliberately or thoughtlessly chosen your career over children, rather than because you simply may not have met anyone you wanted to have children with until then. And the implication that if you then have problems with any aspect of parenthood, well, what did you expect? e.g. "Women who choose to leave childbirth until after their career are playing the fertility lottery..." blah blah blah.

[kickassangel]

Having lurked on mumsnet for years, finally feel drawn to adding to this!
I have SUCH a long list to add, but I'll start gently,
MIL attitiude to education - dd was 2 days when she started asking about local league tables & reading schemes,
Having pay reduced if I take time off to look after dd - the member of management who decided this doesn't attend meetings which are compulsory & I bet he isn't reducing his own pay,
Feeling like a bad teacher if I leave work before 5 pm, and like a bad mother if I leave work after,
Parents who can't stop parenting - e.g. serving up my food for me, checking if I've been to the toilet before we go out(I'm 36, and generally remember), cutting up my food for me,
How much about pregnancy & birth people don't tell you until it's too late, then they all want a say,
No-one asking dh if he was giving up work when dd was born,
Getting sucked into mumsnet when I should be writing lesson plans for OFSTED, who arrive in school on Weds (thus making me a bad teacher AND a bad mother, as I have abandoned both responsibilities)

[mogwai]

people who don't properly supervise their children's behaviour in playzones.

Had to remove my 8 month old from a babies ball pool today (she was the only baby in it) because of a group of 6-7 year old girls insisting on climbing precariously around the edge when they should have been using the age-appropriate equipment.

Parents too busy to notice.

That sort of thing

[rarrie]

Aren't rant threads great? Mine are:

• People who automatically expect their children to be invited to go everywhere with them / to all places. I love my DD, but if I go to an adult posh restaurant, I don't want to suffer the screams of some other kids!
  
  
• Kids' menus and the lack of decent vegetarian food. Even if my DD did eat meat, I would still be reluctant to give her sausage and chips at a restaurant, as you know the sausage is going to be made out of the crap they couldn't sell anywhere else - so if they can do decent veggie food for adults, why not for kids?
  
  
• Parents who talk to their children like rubbish.
  
  
• Seeing babies and very young children (up to a year) being wheeled around town with packets of adult crisps and chocolate smeared around their faces.
  
  
• Adults dropping their rubbish on the floor in front of their kids.
  
  
• People thinking that teachers should do everything for their children.
  
  
• People who argue by saying that in their limited experience... and then expecting that to prove something. Particularly when they disagree with a study.
  
  
• The older generation who just 'don't believe in it' - doesn't matter what it is, they don't believe. Like my nan who never believed in university. wtf???
  
  Hmm, I think that's it for the time being!!

[JBB]

Right here goes...

• Not enough parent & child parking spaces
  
• people who park selfishly so you can't open your car door - god that drives me doolally)
  
• people who give you filthy looks when your child is having a "moment" in public
  
• people who don't look behind them and let doors swing shut on you
  
• there's a theme here, isn't there, I think - "rude/thoughtless people in general" !!!
  
• babychange areas without toilets - what are you supposed to do if you need a pee and don't want to leave your child in his buggy outside the door?! (I am pregnant and this happens A LOT)
  

I could keep going but that's more than enough for now! x

[Jensmum]

Groups of parents standing outside the school gates so you cant get past, Parents smoking in the playground and outside the school gates at hometime, Parents with big scary dogs outside the school gates and letting them fight with other big scary dogs, Parents swearing outside the school gates when all the childrens are coming out.

Being told off by old people for taking my buggy on the bus because they couldn't do it in their day.

Kids swearing, how does a 2 1/2 yr old know words like F*k, sht and c**t?????

[tallulah]

My 18 year old student DD considered to be my dependent by the student funding people and therefore basing her "award" (haha) on her parent's income and circumstances, over which she has no control. That same "dependent child" being considered an adult when it comes to CHB and Tax Credits.

(and the dentist refusing to tell me whether same DD had an appointment already booked, because she's an adult- but I could book her one anyway- wtf?!)

[Charlene1]

People assuming that you should look like a stick the minute you've given birth (by caesarean)
Also journalists making nasty comments on celeb mothers e.g Britney's fat - leave her alone!
People assuming that you are married as you have kids, (especially when they're with you) and insisting on calling you "Mrs" and your kids surname - even when they know you're not married and your kids surnames are different to yours. Then if you correct them they say "oh, you're a Miss then? No, actually I'm a "Ms". Or I could be Dr/Lady etc. -it's none of your bloody business what my marital status is. (Seriously thought of buying a "Countess" title - that'd confuse them!!!)
People who assume all people who get pregnant under age of 20 should be deemed a "teenage mother" and they're bad because they dare to have a baby under age 20 - I don't think a nineteen yr old mum should be the same "category" as, say, a 13 yr old mum. Years ago, everyone had babies at 13.
People watching you struggle with a pushchair and letting a door go in your face.
People in shops/doctors/council etc. continuing to drone on at you whilst kids are screaming blue murder and you "say "sorry, could you just hang on, whilst I sort them out" - they ignore you and you have to keep asking them to repeat themselves.
Whilst pg with DS1 and working f/t, everyone assumed I would throw him into a nursery at 6 wks old and go back to work. After DS1 was born and I decided to be a sahm, constantly having to justify it.
Complete strangers making personal comments about how much milk you make, body size/shape, behaviour of kids, daily routines, how you handle their behaviour.
Competitive mums buying v. expensive presents for a kids party when they hardly know the kid.
People who stand in the playground and stare at you blankly when you try and make conversation and you stand there in awkward silence.
Old women sitting on the "buggy seat" on buses and refusing to move - also passengers who sit and watch you struggle.
The fact that if you want to go back to work, you have to spend all or more of your wages on childcare. Then you'd have to drop the kids off/get to work/work all day/come home/do all housework/feel guilty for working/justify working to everyone. (See above about justifying not working - can't win!)
Health "professionals" who don't know anything they supposed to.
Mothers who laugh when their brats pummel your child in soft play/playground. Grr!
Feeling a failure if you don't spend all day cooking and cleaning and making fantastic "arty things" with kids.
People in call centres who don't listen and don't care.
Feeling as though I should discourage DS1 from liking pink.
The government
Religious people who feel the need to force their opinions down your throat and you should live as they see fit and any religion different to theirs is wrong.
Schools that force girls to wear skirts - sexist
Worrying about what goes into food and finding aspartame in EVERYTHING.
In laws that think they can ignore your parenting wishes.
People who buy toys meant for older kids e.g. buying things quite clearly saying "not for under 3's" - for a 1 yr old. Then saying "oh, they'll be all right" or "you can put it away till they're older". Why don't they keep it? How much crap do they think you can store?
People who think a child clearly terrified of dogs is silly and you should let them near loads of strange dogs so the dog can have a "sniff".
(Clearly ranting now).
Paying for sanitary protection. Condoms are free - you aren't forced to use them. Women are forced to use sanitary stuff.
Cover ups on vaccine side effects.
Attitudes of hospital staff/midwives to first time mothers - making them feel bad for not knowing everything immediately.
Clothes shops not stocking things like coats or sandals when it's a) freezing in June, b)boiling in October. (Tried everywhere to get a jacket last week - wanted an inbetween summer/heavy winter one - shops full of cagoules or cardis!)
Total lack of help for people who can't afford a decent roof over their heads and the attitudes of HA's to them.
Council tax benefit not being available to more people.
No benefit help for fuel bills.
Employers who expect employees to work anywhere in the country and not pay fuel/accommodation costs, leaving them worse off.

Everything you all said previously.

Sorry I'll go now. Promise to not post anymore rants - might not be able to help myself though. :o

[Charlene1]

Can't believe I've just posted all that! Feel nice and peaceful now.. Sorry all.

[nzshar]

wow Charlene1 have you had a bad day/week/year/life????? :o lol

BTW love the name though spelling it with an S is much better

[Charlene1]

All of the options I think - got PMT at moment, so I'm blaming that. :o
Glad you like the name!!

[Charlene1]

Women having to lose everything and end up in a refuge penniless and with upset children cos their husbands have hit them - and he gets to keep the house/money etc. whilst they have nowhere to go and no income.
Also men who think a woman should work full time/ come home, cook tea, see to kids, clean house until spotless, run round waiting on them hand and foot, then service their every "need".
Paedophiles and rapists being allowed to still breathe.
Bosses who sack women because they're pregnant - making up an excuse that of course is nothing to do with a baby. Also employer who tell you straight at an interview that they won't employ you cos pregnant and will cost them money for nothing - then deny saying it when reported.
Filthy toys in hospitals or doctors - how clean is the rest of the place? Also filthy toilets in maternity wards/public toilets - even with an attendant.
People at the "basket/10 items checkouts who pack really slowly, insist on paying by debit card, then hold everyone up when it gets rejected and they have to find a cash machine - and you have to wait or go to another till. Also people who shove your stuff down the belt so they can get theirs on and yours falls off and breaks, so YOU have to get another one, (then they huff and puff at having to wait). Or they put their stuff on yours so you end up paying whilst they quietly take it back with some extras from yours. Or you are madly trying to pack and struggle with bags and they send yours or someone elses stuff flying at you so it breaks/gets mixed up/stolen by the next people.
I'm off again...
Paying a fortune for Sky and after flicking through millions of channels, you find nothing interesting - and put ITV on.
American sitcoms with canned laughter.
Stupid "classic" british comedy series that shall remain nameless.
People getting sent to prison for not having a tv licence.
Standing in a cafe trying to order with 2 screaming kids and the one and only assistant there takes your order - then ignores you and starts wiping trays. When you ask "Will it be long, I'm in a rush and the kids are hungry". They reply "we're waiting for chips. "But what's wrong with those chips" "They're for people who order xyz meals and the staff" Then they talk to someone else and cut you off/ignore you when you decide to order an "instant" alternative. Then look down their nose at you when you say you've decided to leave it as they've got to "take it off the till" (despite never bothering to ask for the money/extras etc - therefore unfinished order.
(That actually happened to me yesterday)
My father coming round today and asking when I'm going to tidy all the toys away/chuck them in the bin as "you can't move in here" and the "kids shouldn't have all these toys" (told him if he didn't like it tough, tidy it himself, as I let my kids play with their toys, not keep them in a box - long story, but I think he got the message :( - and the kids tidy their own toys, I'm not a slave. (A woman's place again grrr and I am 31, not 13)
That's it for now - probably this thread will be locked to stop me when I come back to it :o
(willow2, bet you wish you'd never started this thread. :o)
Ooh,I love MN

[izzybiz]

when i go on a night out with the girls, Dps friends asking me if he is babysitting.
I dont babysit my own children do i ?
Wtf does he?!

[KelMill]

Getting a parking ticket for deliberately parking outside the boundary, in an empty-ish carpark, simply to have access to my baby's car seat as no specific parent spaces were provided.

www.gopetition.com/petitions/parent-and-child-parking.html

[Miggsie]

Okay then!

Lack of decent walking shoes for girls...either buy boy's shoes or buy very expensive walking boots at £40 a go. Thanks guys!
Pink and purple girls shoes...my DD doesn't like them!
Too much pink (see above)
Ludicrous gender colouring...a pink or blue perpetual calender???!!!!
As a disabled parent, having people look at me and say "how DO you manage?" in varying degrees of pity and disgust
Newspapers covered with bare women, why is this news?
Anyone who contributes to or publishes or buys: Nuts, Loaded and other wank mags
Work patterns set up assuming everyone has a wife at home doing everything else
Pension planning that assumes you are someone with a wife at home, doing everything else so you can work 40 years uninteruppted
Doctors surgeries who won't see your baby with diaorrhea as they are "busy"
5 year olds with mobile phones
5 year olds spending most of their spare time on a PC or watching TV
TV
Adverts for crap
Adverts that imply "you are a bad mother if you don't buy this product"
Childrens menus where everything comes with chips...DD doesn't eat chips, cue gasps of amazement from all round the cafe.
Tarty clothes for little girls
4 year olds saying they want to be "cool"
People who swear at their children or partners
Mothers who say "I've tried everything" after their child has belted yours totally unprovoked
People who don't control their dogs, which then attack DD in the street then reply "oh, he doesn't normally do that" but fail to control said dog, then get upset because you've kicked the bloody animal across the road, while holding hysterical 3 year old.

But I DO like:
the nice man on the bus last week who gave up his seat and helped with my bags

[catweazle]

Reopening ancient threads rather than starting a new one!