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As a parent, what "issues" annoy you the most?

216 replies

willow2 · 06/03/2006 17:39

OK, what is it that gets you ranting? Holiday prices, education reforms, the state of the maternity service? What would you change most, if you could? Discuss...

OP posts:
lilstarry1 · 08/03/2006 09:45

I have a few to add...

People telling parents how "lucky" they are their child is well behaved, what does luck have to do with it? It's hard work, love and discipline.. my child isn't well behaved because of some random gambling fluke (this isn't to say I don't recognise behaviour can be influenced by medical problems :)

Anyone who starts the sentence "well in my day"... also parents who criticise and judge other peoples parenting choices, surely we should all support one another?

The competitiveness of parenting "Well my DD could say 8 words by the time she was 2 days" or (as I recently heard): "My dd never cried" - yea right! It's just so long ago you've forgotten how whiney babies can occasionally be!

People who say to me "I can't believe your BF/Using reusable nappies, you're so young".. I'm 22, and what does age have to do with anything? You get good parents and bad parents of all ages, so why do people immediately assume the younger mums are the trouble makers?

Finally - places that place the baby changing in the woman's toilets, (Cambridge is particularly bad for this!). My DP is very good at the nappy side of things (we always joke - I do the feeding he does the nappies), so to be unable to fulfil his 'role' (as it were.. and this is light-hearted couple banter), actually annoys him.. and me! Even worse are the places that don't have a baby changing room!

bl0ndie · 08/03/2006 09:46

blueshoes - how much do you want to bet their 'easy' babies turn into screaming monsters in the evenings and sleeping through the night actually means from 11 -6!!!

chipmonkey · 08/03/2006 10:06

spursmum, I used to love it when ds1 aged 3 used to say loudly, "That lady shoudn't be crossing when the little red man is there, sure she shoudn', Mammy?"

blueshoes · 08/03/2006 10:19

Blondie, I believed them!

lilstarry1, as for "luck" with well-behaved children, I do think it is combination of 2 factors: firstly, how naturally compliant the children are and secondly, how much effort the parents put it, as you said. I am also jealous because everything with my strong-willed dd is an uphill struggle Envy.

chipmonkey · 08/03/2006 10:23

agree blueshoes. Ds1 and ds2 were very well-behaved but ds3 so far has been very stroppy and he's only 1! Not looking forward to the terrible twos!

blueshoes · 08/03/2006 11:09

phew, chipmonkey. It is not just me then!

getbakainyourjimjams · 08/03/2006 13:51

Agree blueshoesw. I was very smug with ds1- he was the world's easiest baby and a lovely introduction to motherhood), then he turned autistic and now people stare at his behaviour in the street. Ds2 is a gem. DS3 has been a nightmare from the start. Parenting skills my arse- its a good dose of luck! Since ds1's behaviour has become ahem challenging my parenting skills have imporved imeasurably (they've had to to deal with him- and I've had a number of useful courses as well), but the same people who would have been saying "oh what a lovely laid back smily baby must be beacuase you are so relaxed with him" will tut loudly in the street and not notice that aged 7 he can't talk.

ruty · 08/03/2006 15:39

the lack of decent midwives. Getting an old bullying hag as a midwife who makes your baby scream. the lack of breastfeeding support in hospital/at doctors. Ignorant HV's. Appalling food in schools - STILL. Organic food being so damn expensive. having to be rich just to get into a decent state school, because house prices in catchment areas are so high. Poor nursery care. lack of breastfeeding friendly places in public.

ruty · 08/03/2006 15:40

oh yeah and the government's technique of ignoring the elephant in the room with MMR.

teacups · 08/03/2006 15:49

People who don't stop at zebra crossings ... esp on the far side of a dual carriageway. I won't push the buggy out when just the nearside
has stopped as I have had 2 near misses and it's making me a wreck.

People assuming that part timers are all dossers - happens in my work all the time. People assume that I will leave bang on the dot as I have kids now. Also people assuming that my brain no longer functions as I am a mother.

People assuming that looking after kids is an easy job.

Paying for childcare out of my taxed income.

The cost of housing in this country - related to childcare as the only way we can afford to live in our (not esp nice) bit of london is if DH and I both work.

blueshoes · 08/03/2006 16:47

bakajimjams Smile. It takes so much more effort to parent the more challenging ones. I admire your posts on other threads on how hard you work at creative parenting solutions for your ds' behaviour.

Blandmum · 08/03/2006 16:51

Mine are both NT and neither has ever ben 'easy'. I always look slack jawed at people with 'bidable' kids

What gets me ranting? People who think that teaching is easy and that teachers only do the job because they can't do anything else.

People who are rude and don't say please and thank you.

Ladish and laddete behaviour....jsut tabloidese from acting like an arsehole

Parnets who fly into a temper over something their child says, and when said child is found to have told a whopper they never appologise

trinityrocks · 08/03/2006 17:58

the clothes in the high stret ffor as young as 3 yr olds thatlook lik something seen on paris hilton ugh

thongs for9 yr olds

the shit that some schools give their kids for lnch

ponto · 08/03/2006 19:55

Cool boiled water for babies and for mixing up formula.

Why does water have to be boiled in this country? How likely is it that something in treated tap water is going to make a baby ill? People in many other countries would be so grateful to have the quality of water that we do in the UK.

elmie · 08/03/2006 20:37

I think parents that blame everyone else for their kids bad behave and lack of education!
Parents that love their kids so much that they see no fault in them at all.
Parents that talk to their kids in a baby voice(4-5year olds).
Hold on, I am sure there was more, I just need to think?

nulnulcat · 08/03/2006 21:23

parents who look down there nose because i work full time and put dd in nursery, i dont use organic food never have dont always make my own food and rely on ready made stuff use dummies only breast fed for 6 months and gina ford is my bible this does not make me a bad mum!!!

Tillyboo · 09/03/2006 08:21
  • People who have a 'thing' about parents sending children to a private school. It's a personal choice thing.
  • Parents who sit at soft play drinking coffee, chatting to friends & not having a bloody clue where there kids are, what they are doing or how they are.
  • People who huff n' puff at children if they are having a hissy fit in the supermarket, shopping centre, restaurant etc. ..... Have they not been there themselves ? Short memory syndrome perhaps.
  • Style of girls shoes in Clarkes - hideously old fashioned
  • Kids versions of adult fashion
  • No room to push a buggy around the hanging rails in shops
Sparklemagic · 09/03/2006 08:41

education system starting kids at four.

tax credits only available to pay for Nursery care for children, not parental or family care.

The fact that high street shops have sk8er boy clothes for toddlers boys and mini-prostitute wear for toddler girls. Where are the brightly coloured children's clothes that they ought to be selling?

Everything for the girls is Barbie pink....

Parents who choose to have children then seem to intensely dislike being with them and any kind of behaviour that is child-like.

blueshoes · 09/03/2006 08:51

Sparkle, you reminded me - selective assessments for entry to private school nursery at 2.5!

People ignoring heavily pregnant women on crowded commuter trains/tube, leaving them to stand.

RedZuleika · 09/03/2006 09:05

I hadn't realised that some shops still put the baby changing in the women's toilets. I have yet to see this.

Out of curiosity, can your menfolk not just go and use it anyway? I'm sure that if enough people complain about random men barging into the women's lavatories, they might be moved to do something about it.

Am reminded of Richard E Grant's character in 'Jack and Sarah'...

RedZuleika · 09/03/2006 09:06

nulnulcat: I don't think you're a bad mum for using a dummy or not using organic food...

Gina Ford and the gollie, on the other hand... Wink

riab · 09/03/2006 09:10

People who believe they have the right to offer unasked for opinions about the choices I make as a parent.
The massive moral 'highground' false publicity campaign breast is best which acheives nothing except to make some mothers feel smug, others feel guilty and create yet naother divide between parents.
The assumption that its the 'mother' who is important not both parents.
The assumption that all women want children, enjoy the children they have and feel maternally bonded with them.

Crappy education policies (and I speak as the daughter of two teachers and am now myself a school governer)

m1m1rie · 09/03/2006 09:49

My mother in law and her airy-fairy ideas (literally), like when she came to visit bearing a notebook with the names of my childrens' Guardian Angels as told to her by her psychic/reiki healer/spiritual adviser - WHATEVER!

People looking disapprovingly at my very vocal two year old (who still looks like a baby) when we are out; even if we are out in the open and she is only passing them by.

The threat of prosecution for taking our children out of school for a holiday - my husband only gets holidays at certain times of year, and unfortunately these don not co-incide with school holiday times.

Easy Jet, who want to charge me £1150 to fly just me and my two kids to Malaga from Stansted on their crap airline during the May half term - get the point about school holidays being prohibitively expensive to go away?

Easy Jet again (and Ryanair) who allow parents with small children to board their flights ahead of the other passengers, but only actually give them a 25 second head start. This especially doesn't help when you go through passport control and are faced with a flight of 50 steps and no lift (daunting when travelling alone with a baby in a pushchair). The attendant (and this is a true tale courtesy of Easy Jet's crew in Newcastle) tells you he will help you (reluctantly) but he's not supposed to!!!! By the time you have negotiated the obstacles and arrived at the aircraft everybody else has already boarded anyway!

Why everything has hydrogenated vegetable oil in it when we all know it's carcinogenic.

People who mutter on about obesity in children when I have treated my children to some chips (they hardly ever get them - if it was any of your business)

Why all girls clothes seem to be pink/have sparkly bits on them. I really hate sparkly anything (luckily my daughter looks really cute in green). Thank you Zara for making clothes Kids look like Kids in!

Oh stop me.... I'm supposed to be working!!

RedZuleika · 09/03/2006 09:52

"luckily my daughter looks really cute in green"

You can find green...???

Katte · 09/03/2006 10:43

Ignorance & swearing in front of kids

Girl/boy's clothing - what's wrong with unisex colours?

Why are there always more disabled parking spaces than parent&child ones (eg. IKEA)?

Holiday/Air travel - how can "low cost" airlines justify 15kg baggage limit per person when other airlines are happy with 20kg+, BA even 32kg???

BUT mainly the social policy of this country:
Why am I better off staying at home with dd (childcare cost/commuting not worth going to work) yet worse off than being unemployed?
Part time jobs (if available)on a much lower position/pay than before maternity leave.
Why isn't parenting financially rewarded - it is a job afterall (like in some other countries "inferior" to UK)?!?!