Carla - I think you need to get professional help!
MN cannot and will not replace that.
Things seem to be getting totally out of control for you at the moment and I don't think posting here is helping you!
If you want to stay then I agree with SJ - change your name. You do have a particularly style of posting though, which will identify you nontheless!
But please, over anything else, get the help that you need in RL! Your daughters will thank you for it in the long run!