Who remembers this??? (From a WOOH thread in January 2002, by a brilliant but uncelebrated MN poet )
Watching sproglets on her webcam
Is unnatural Mum Pamina.
She's abandoned them to baby jail
Just like evil witch Marina.
Such miscreants, such vile scum
To thus neglect their role as Mum
And waste their time with workplace natters.
On the net they chat to Batters-
Another baby hating stinker
Who won't stay home. And then there's Tinker-
(Don't get me started on her badness
For that could truly lead to madness.)
And on the net they also see
Mums who are more truly bonded
Enid, Callie and Liza V
Proper mums who've not absconded.
Better people through and through
Fond of games and snot and poo
And talking slow and high and sweet
And kissing baby hands and feet.
But wait a second, what is this?
A child abandoned in mid kiss?
The perfect Mummy disappears
To post on Mumsnet all her fears.
The child whimpers, whines and pouts
Mummy tuts and types and shouts:
"You're really getting on my tits!"
And suddenly the benefits
Of child care are quite quite clear.
Perhaps there is a nursery near?