As a child were you in full time childcare?

[Lasvegas]

So many surveys about how nurseries etc not best for little kids. Real test I think is looking at adults now who were in childcare in the past. I wondered how you were affected if at all if you were in nursery, with CM or Nanny full time (50 hours a week) when you were little. I mean affected in later life not can you recall crying etc. I wasn't at nursery as a child, my mum worked a gew hours and my grandmother had me and my sister.

no it wasnt invented that far back

I wasn't, but I remember it sounded like such good fun that beeged my mum for ages to get me into one, I pestered her with the idea until I was 5 and no longer in the age braket to attend one!

I don't hink I have evolved a better or worse person than those people of my age who attended nursery.

And I believe that Stephen Biddulph, as much as I respect him as I have read most of his books, may be reading the statistics wrong. Surely, any kid does better with one to one attention, but how realistic is to expect one ot one attention when you are a mother busy with lots of housechores and several other brothers? how can he assume that all mothers are extremely affectionate, stable, knowledgeable and devoted to the development of their children 100%? it would be ideal if that were always the case, but I'm afraid it's not. I believe that the main problem with a nursery would be staff rotation and the very reduced time parents spent with their children during the day which may result in parents feeling guilty in using the little time they have together to discipline/correct their children, besides, how can they know how bad is the problem they need to correct or if there's a problem to correct at all? So, in my book provided the nursery is OK, the problem is the little time parents spend with their children rather than the nursery itself.

Nope. Im 27 ,my brother 33 and my sister 35 and my mum looked after 3 of us as a SAHM.

yes - and am old, so this was in the 60's. Was looked after by a neighbour

No, but distinctly got the impression that my mother found life as a SAHM very difficult indeed.

My Mum stayed at home with 3 of us. When my little sister started full time school, Mum went to work part time. We would have to let ourselves in after school and I was in charge of cooking tea.
I was around 12 at the time, my brother 14 and my sister 5.5

Sorry just read the rest of your note. No, don't remember crying (as I knew the neighbour from birth anyway). Do have very early memories of thinking my mum was a glam, almost ethereal creature who smelled great and flitted in and out of my daily life.

Was very proud in primary school when asked what our mums and dads did as jobs that I was the only one who had a mum with a 'career'.

It gave me a very strong work ethic, although I have worked part-time since I had my kids.

But Nanny's have been around for centuries, so you cannot be that old!

No. Mum is great with small children (prefers them to adults really) and i think if required to work for financial reasons would have drafted in family. She was actually offered maternity leave and a guaranteed job by her previous employer which was quite a big deal in 1961, but didn't want to do it.

However, when i get angsty about working/ childcare, mum always says that she herself in the mid-30s was effectively brought up by her mother's 'help' (i.e. servant but Granny was a Labour Party member so didn't have servants...)and it never did her any harm etc. She feels any neglect came from being the fourth child of five, not from other people being involved in her care.

sorry that was long and probably not relevant

I recall crying while in the car of my mother, but surely all children do at some point, don't they?

I was in childcare from the age of two. Full time babysitter from 8 in the morning till 5pm. Then I went to school and got dropped of at another sitter at 8 who took me to school and picked me up. I had loads of childminders.

At the age of 9 I became a latch key kid because my parents no longer wanted to 'waste money' on a childminder. I had to let myself out in the morning and back in at night. It really scared me especially as I got followed to school one morning by a bloke in a van and the police were involved. My parents told me that I would have to continue to let myself in and out because otherwise if one stopped work or changed thier shifts so they would be there after shool they wouldn't be able to afford nice things like holidays and nice clothes for my mum.

Weekends were spent tiptoeing round my mum because all she did was sleep on the sofa because she was knackered from work all the time. If I accidently disturbed her she would fly into a blind rage and I would be grounded.

I'm a little bit bitter about the time I spend with childminders etc because it seemed to me my parents saw me as an inconvenience and I feel peed off that they also never made the most of time they had with me on the weekends.

I'd never ever do this to my kids. Yes I work part time and I do have someone to look after my kids but as I work in the evening and at weekends dp, my ex and I manage to juggle childcare arrangements.

The only positive thing is that I grew up quickly and became independent at an early age but at what price. The stranger thing affected me for years and still gives me nightmares.

I was in childcare from the age of two. Full time babysitter from 8 in the morning till 5pm. Then I went to school and got dropped of at another sitter at 8 who took me to school and picked me up. I had loads of childminders.

At the age of 9 I became a latch key kid because my parents no longer wanted to 'waste money' on a childminder. I had to let myself out in the morning and back in at night. It really scared me especially as I got followed to school one morning by a bloke in a van and the police were involved. My parents told me that I would have to continue to let myself in and out because otherwise if one stopped work or changed thier shifts so they would be there after shool they wouldn't be able to afford nice things like holidays and nice clothes for my mum.

Weekends were spent tiptoeing round my mum because all she did was sleep on the sofa because she was knackered from work all the time. If I accidently disturbed her she would fly into a blind rage and I would be grounded.

I'm a little bit bitter about the time I spend with childminders etc because it seemed to me my parents saw me as an inconvenience and I feel peed off that they also never made the most of time they had with me on the weekends.

I'd never ever do this to my kids. Yes I work part time and I do have someone to look after my kids but as I work in the evening and at weekends dp, my ex and I manage to juggle childcare arrangements.

The only positive thing is that I grew up quickly and became independent at an early age but at what price. The stranger thing affected me for years and still gives me nightmares.

acne bride / Fiestybird interesting to hear about your mums / your experience.

Stuckinthemiddle - very sad to hear that about your exprieiences.

Part of the time mum was a SAHM and later - at least from age 11 - I was a latch-key kid. Broke the glass pane in the door once, trying to get in!

What did have an effect on me was being looked after by my mum's step-mum when I was very little. She used to get me to hide when anyone came round - particularly my uncle. I ended up very shy.

I was a latch key kid too. I once left Mum a note on the door mat saying that the key was under the mat She was not amused!!

my mum was a SAHM until my younger brother went to school, (i was 6.5 years) and my younger sister (2) turned into the brat from hell who refused to share! so she started to childmind. When my sister was 6 she went to work part-time, but finished in time to pick us up.

when i started secondary school she re-trained, as inservice training but did college days and work days.

i was a latch-key kid from 11 meant to add

no, not sent to nursery. and wouldn't do it to my children either. I had a nanny while my mother worked part time as a gp - can't remember her hours but hardly ever remembver her being at work, always remember her being at home which is interesting.

No. My mother was a fulltime SAHM with live-in help when we were young. Most of my preschool days were spent playing with siblings. I don't remember much input or interaction with my mother beyond her punishing us if we squabbled. She was bitter about having to give up her job and spent a lot of her time watching day time telly. I was definitely more impressed with my friends' glamorous working mums. I tend to believe happy mums = better mums.

My mum was always home for me, till I was in my early teens and never home myself. Took it completely for granted.

I'm now considering a - nearly - fulltime job myself, and having serious misgivings about it all. Its very hard.

mum was an SAHM, but she didn't take me to playgroup or anything. Her and dad are from the smacking and shouting school of parenting. All together I grew up emotionally very immature. I'm sure a few mornings at a playgroup might have improved my social skills.

I remember though coming home from school every day to a warm house. Mum went to college for a year so it was a mixture of being in the house, but not allowed to light a fire or anything, coupled with other people's houses after school. it was miserable - heavily influenced me to be an SAHM.