As a child were you in full time childcare?

[Lasvegas]

So many surveys about how nurseries etc not best for little kids. Real test I think is looking at adults now who were in childcare in the past. I wondered how you were affected if at all if you were in nursery, with CM or Nanny full time (50 hours a week) when you were little. I mean affected in later life not can you recall crying etc. I wasn't at nursery as a child, my mum worked a gew hours and my grandmother had me and my sister.

No - my mum was a SAHM until I was about 13. Very happy memories of growing up in a little village, with my mum always there. Now I'm working 3 days a week, the kids go to afetrschool/holiday club and I feel as guilty as hell. I had a lovely, warm, cosy childhood and I worry they won't have the same memories...

Plus I spend way too much time on MN

no.my mum was a sahm for the four of us,in fact hasn't worked outside the home except volunteering since she married 50 yrs ago.

I think she may regret not keeping up with her career somewhat but all in all enjoyed being sahm.

I'm a sahm mum,probably because it was instilled in me it was the best thing for small children.I don't intend to stay at home when ds goes to school though.

no, my mother was sahm, I never met any other children until I went to school aged 5. Definitely do not recommend this, it was traumatic, I hated school and mixing with other people, well til I left aged 18 really.

I grew up abroad (Malaysia) and both my parents worked full time and we had a succession of maids / nannies / servants.

They didn't actually bring us up but were there to cook, clean etc and generally support my mother and enable her to work.

My mother still did the fun stuff in the evenings / weekends with us.

It was the same for most of my cousins and we all attended university, some of us have careers and others have chosen to be SAHM but we now live in the UK, US, Canada where the sort of help we grew up with is very expensive.

My DM was SAHM.

OOps forgot, was looked after by my Grannie for two years (we were living with Grannie while my dad worked abroad)whilst mum WOTH. This was between ages 2-4.

My mum was a SAHM til I was 3.

She then worked full time but had flexible working hours so it only meant that my grandparents picked up/dropped off once at either the beginning or end of day.

Latch key from 11 (high school).

I think, overall, it had made me just get on with things iyswim.

DH and his 3 sisters had SAHM all their lives and all the lot of them still need a tad more 'mothering' at times.

I'm hazy about how full time it was but I was in childcare (my mum's workplace creche) from a very early age (3 months?). In my later childhood my mum fluctuated between part time and full time work but I never felt abandoned or like she wasn't around, as far as I can remember. My dad worked full time and I felt he was rather absent from the home apart from at weekends and times of crisis. I loved having a latch key from 9 or 10 onwards as well. Felt all independent and grown up and it was never long before my mum would get home from work anyway. I think I'm a relatively well-adjusted adult, as far as you can judge these things from the inside.

Mum was SAHM until I was 18 mths, and then she went back to work fulltime and I went to a nursery. I don't have any particular memories from that time.

She became a SAHM again when my sister was born, but that coincided with me starting school. She didn't work again until my DBro started school, and then she started working in my Primary School, so she was home with us after school and holidays.

I don't think the Nursery had any impact on me really (well apart from teaching me to read at the age of 2, turning me into a total bookworm!) I only have good memories (what few there are)

my mum was a single mum in the 60s . We lived in Swithzerland. As a baby I was looked after by a childminder (along with her 2 children), then went to nursery before school. The school I went to had a day and a boarding section so after classes I used to go and play with the boarding school kids until my mum came to pick me up. This worked til I thought I was old enough (around 15) to get the school bus home and let myself in.
Don't think it has affected me in any adverse way.

My mother worked part-time before I went to school - not sure exactly when she went full-time but definitely by the time I was 7, I think. We had childminders who came to our home and we went to playgroup sessions as well. Was happy with all the childminders except one, when we had to go to her house (just didn't like the woman and didn't like being away from my home). Mother's thinking was that you can only relax properly in your home, anywhere else you are 'in public'. Was entirely happy with it, except when I was a teenager and got to old for childcare but that was because she had a long journey home across the Pennines and I used to worry!

I was at home all the time with my mum (not even playgroup in our part of London at that time, my dsis benefitted), and to be honest, my memories of spending time with her are not happy. Not grim either, but she was a reluctant and lonely SAHM who had such a sad early life that she had no experience of being played with and laughed with, to pass on. That she loved/s us is not in doubt at all, don't get me wrong, but she was manifestly a much happier person when in p/t and later f/t paid work.
She spent all her time at home with us cleaning and tidying. Our house was spotless. She was also a Truby King child so we got turfed out in the garden at least twice a day whatever the weather (appropriately dressed at least).
Once I could read it was fine
Both my children have been by necessity in f/t daycare from about 5 months and as far as I can tell have suffered no adverse effects. They are both lively, kind, intelligent and friendly. Ds' school report says so, so it's not just a proud mother speaking.
Yes, I think there is a lot to be said for spending as much time at home as possible from 0-3, 1-1 with a familiar adult. But circumstances vary so enormously that I just do not think you can generalise.

My mum was a SAHM but a farmers wife which in reality meant working hours and hours on the farm. I grew up lonely and probably depressed.

I was with my Mum at home until I was one and she went back to University. My memories of pre-school childcare are all benign, I do remember loving nursery because it was an environment specifically designed for children which I found to be a lot of fun and very stimulating.

We should probably separate Nursery care from After School Care as my experience of the latter was much more unsatisfying and inconsistent. That said, the inconsistency was hardly the fault of the care I was receiving and more my mother's careless approach to raising school age children.

I went to a child minder full time from 3 months. Usually 8-4.30 everyday. My mum is a teacher though so I didn't go in holiday time.

When I went to secondary school my mum had a neighbour (aged 16) come and sit with me for a few months when I came home. From about the age of 12 I was a latch key kid.

I sometimes didn't like it and sometimes did. Loved it before I went to school though. When I was 16 my mum quit work for 2 years I hated having her at home, found it really really difficult. I used to love my quiet time from 4.30-5ish before my mum came home.

I am really independent, and quite into having a career, but suspect thats just as much to do with being in my early 20s

no, my mum was a sahm, I didn't even realise that nurseries existed 30 odd years ago!! This generation are a bit of an experiment it seems

My mum worked nights while we were little and then when I was about 7 went to work part-time which meant I used to walk home from school with the neighbours. Never thought it any different from anybody else becuase their mums never picked them up either. We all used to walk in a big gang. I do remember when the dinner ladies went on strike when I was about 10 and we had keys to go home on our own when mum was at work. It was really excited. At secondary school she worked full-time. If we were ill we just used to go into her office and I always felt really grown up. Alternatively I would go and stay at my nans. I do believe she inspired me to get a career. I never remember what happened pre-school. That is all a blur! Also cannot remember mum ever doing homework with us.

My Mum has had three children. I stayed with either my Dad or Nanny or nursery while my Mum was a student/working. At weekend I always stayed at my Grandparents. They were my stability and when they died I became a little lost. I have problems with intimacy.

My next sister was with a FT childminder from 1 then full time nursery. She has problem with intimacy and bottles her feelings up.

My last sister went with a FT childminder at siz months. She is 17 and very insecure and angry person. She not very good at emphathy and doesn't talk about her feelings or express her self very well at all.

None of feel our Mother and Father were parents in the real sense. We would all rather cut off out noses than speak to our mother about our problems, though we do talk to each other when pushed. We all hold everybody at arms lengths.

BUT saying these are all things my parents do as well, so may not have been different with other children arrangements?

• first few months with mum, dad and sister

- next couple of years with grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins (mum & dad visited at weekends) - full-time nursery and I mean full-time, all week, only home at weekends - mum & dad next 6 years - grandma another 4 years (saw mum & dad once a month) - mum & dad

Very chequered. I'm secure and friendly.

No not full time, I remember going to playschool in the mornings from around 3. I was passed from pillar to post while my mum was in hospital for a month having my brother (high BP) and I think being in childcare during the day would have actually been beneficial then.

I also remember have month long summer holidays, and my dad being at home a lot during the day as he worked shifts. Very happy times.

Went to a childminder in the school holidays when I was older as mum worked. We knew the other children from school though, so it was just like being at school without the work.

no I was at home with my mother until I went to school
no playgroups or anything. I just hung out with her really, went to the shops, played in the garden, went to the library. visited aunties and my grandad. my mum didn't play with me exactly - that's not her thing. we were seriously poor (big family) and they both had all sorts of part time jobs on the side (cleaning, pools round, sewing etc) to make ends meet.
It was bloody great actually, I have fond memories of watching her at the twin tub, and listening to radio 4 all day.
the day I went to school I ran in without a backward glance.
having a SAHM did not stop me from going on to have a fairly high flying career. I was a confident, in fact precocious child, and a very happy and secure adult.
this is the kind of childhood that I want for my daughters.

No my mam was a sahm with us 3 girls, and we didn't go to School till we were 5 and she didn't drive and she made all our clothes and we could all write the alphabet before we went to School................sigh!

I've got the life of Riley!

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What about people that went to boarding school from a young age? Did that have any impact on them. I used to wish I went to one when I was 8 or 9 and reading famous five stories but does that make you feel insecure anyone who went?

My mother was a SAHM until I was 13 when she trained as a teacher so we were still looked after by her in all the school holidays. Before she began her career we moved around a lot as my father was in the RAF and did have servants and maids in Singapore who babysat quite a bit.

My parents spent every weekend of our childhood (I was one of 4 children) entertaining us, taking us out on day trips to the beach,museums,cinema, etc plus we did lots of sport and went to Brownies, etc.

I feel very lucky to have had the kind of childhood I did, both my parents were very hands-on interactive parents, plus we were able to spend lots of time playing out of doors with lots of other children building dens in the woods etc.

This was the late 50's and all of the 60's so dont think day nurseries existed.