Thanks WWW! Nice to hear from someone who has done it...
OK my responses to yours... (IN CAPS)
FOR
Better work life balance (ie you work I live ;-) - you won't have to worry about any of the day to day crap and I won't have to be rushed off my feet all the time and both feeling like crumbling into a heap/bottle every night.
Well, true. It will still be work and tiring, just a different kind of tiring, imo anyway. NOT ONCE DD AT SCHOOL HEH HEH
School holidays not a total mare and DD gets brought up by her mother not an assortment of paid and grandparent help.
True. But you need to be happy too and if being a sahm doesn't make you happy then this isn't a + IT WOULD, I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT ATM
DOG would get lovely walks from both of us and not be brought up by mad fascist. OK
Will spend less in general as will be able to shop around, cook from scratch most of time etc. Also healthier . True. Plus the cost of lattes, papers (you prob won't have time to read one, ha ha!), travel will be lower/non existent SEE WHEN DD AT SCHOOL COMMENT ABOVE
I could work p/t still and earn good money which we could blow on fancy holidays etc. Depends on where you live. P/t well paid work isn't that easy to come by ime. If working OTH is important to you, can you look into this before you move? I COULD WORK FROM HOME HALF TIME DOING SOMETHING FOR MY CO NOW AND STILL EARN GOOD MONEY
I would have time to control budget etc so we would know where we were with cash (albeit bugger all) True but big wupp WUPP?
If we have another brat then I will be around to look after it (should that be in against?) In against I reckon YES QUITE, LOOKING UNLIKELY THOUGH
Lots of nice free babysitting even overnighters. Wow, possibly worth moving just for this YES BUT ALREADY HAVE THIS AS PARENTS ONLY AN HOUR AWAY
You would get home in time to do stuff in the week like Gym, Am Dram, Cinema etc (that's what you do in the country y'know) Ewww at am dram but yes to other stuff EWW INDEED WAS P*SS TAKE!
We would be much less exhausted. True
Nice country pursuits like walks, shooting, fishing to do. True, I really like walking and haven't had time to do any for a while. WE DO A LOT NOW, LIVE RIGHT BY RICHMOND PARK (WHICH I WILL MISS)
Do already know some people to hang out with. Ooh, big + imo, YES BUT ONE OF THEM MY BROTHER WHO IS FAB BUT DRIVES ME INTERMITTENTLY BONKERS, HIS GF V NICE THO
You could lie in more at weekends as I will be able to snooze during day if exhausted on eg Fridays.
Blimey, I would NOT agree to this up front! Especially if you have 2 and are knackred from a.sleepless nights and b. being sahm OH NO IF I HAD TWO NO WAY!
Our house would be nice and organised and I would know where everything was. God, would you? I was rubbish at this even as sahm. But maybe you are more anal than me? HMM NO AM NOT, THINK THIS MAY BE A FANTASY!
Against
First time ever lack of equality in relationship.
Well, depends on how much each of you value the contribution of the person at home. If it's absolutely valued there needn't be inequality. I earn more than dh and it's still an equal relationship because it's not measured in cash. YES I AGREE, HE DOESN;T HAVE A PROB WITH IT, I JUST WONDERED IF IT COULD BE AN ISSUE AS WE HAVEN'T DONE IT BEFORE
Less overall cash (but not much)
So not a prob if not much less. Anyway, once you factor childcare, cost of working etc it might really not be much IT WILL BE QUITE A LOT STILL
Pressure of being breadwinner all on you - could you deal as have never had to do this?
Hmm, I wasn't mad keen on this when I was sole earner I have to say, it felt v scary. But if he's ok with it and you could potentially move back if it doesn't work out then I don't see prob. YES
No option of you packing it in if it gets too much (though I suppose I could go back to my job, people often seem to)
There's always the option of packing it all in (BY THIS I MEANT HE HAS PREVIOUSLY MADE NOISES ABOUT GIVING UP BEING LAWYER)
You will be committing to being a Lawyer for ever and ever amen. (well not really, see last point)
As above YES
Will have to drink crap wine 99% of time as so poor.
Start going to Majestic and getting their offers and you won't be in this position. Sainsbury's white Burgundy is 4.99 and v nice imo, you'll be able to afford that. OK, you will have to give up any Petrus habit but... SULK
We won't know many people.
But you can meet some. Depends on where you live as to whether they're nice or not I guess. YES
We may have to hang out with cretins til we meet nice peeps.
True but in which case don't bother and wait for nice people. YES TRUE
We will have to see London friends for whole weekends not just a night which may be annoying (though is actually probably quite nice and as only 1hr from London could invite just for Sat night)
Could get annoying if they turn up for long long weekends and expect you to look after them but hey, you'll just have to manage their expectations! QUITE, PLUS MOST OF THEM ARE SO LOVELY I WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT FOR WEEKEND WITH THEM
I may go mad.
True.
I may have to be a drudge (may do me good). Well, get a cleaner to start with if you consider your job is childcare NOT housework/drudgery which being a sahm is imo (childcare, not slavery I mean) WOULD HAVE A CLEANER. BY THIS I THINK I MEANT I MAY HAVE TO DO THE IRONING AARRRGGHHHH!!
DD may be teenage junkie. True, keep her v busy when she hits 13. Ballet, piano, whatever you can to keep her out of clutches of boys with bad influence. The country can be v boring if you're a teenager who thinks you know it all and can't wait to start Life Proper. QUITE, I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE (JUNKIE A BIT HARSH PROB)
We may be taxi service for her until she gets fed up with boring country and bogs off to London. True.
Too much driving in general. True
Fwiw, those are my thoughts, HTH! THANKS!