can anyone make this decision for me please.

[misdee]

stay here or move near to harefield?

Can't make it for you no, but can help you decide.

Your move would be apriority one I am sure, but what are the livivng areas like around there ?

Hi Misdee,

I know nothing about where you are now, or anything about Harefield. So if you tell me the pros and cons, could it help you see it clearer?

BTW did you get that hutch off ebay?

obviosuly the pros and cons are needed.

reasons for staying:
family support
dd2 being assessed asd and dont want to start the process all over
dd1 settled in school.
ok amminities

reasons aginst staying

far away from peter

reasons to move

closer to peter, he could be in for anythijng upto and over 3years

reasons not to

harefield is small. not muhc to do for the kids, loss of family support etc.

and peter will want to move back here afterwards.

hmm, to me that says stay where you are, but I know you want to be near Peter.

What is your honest feeling?

Have you broached the subject with peter?

is ther any compromise? eg moving closer to harefield but not so far away from family

I think I would stay where you are as family support must be of real importance to you right now. Also all the upheaval would be hard on you and teh kids. What does Peter think?

i drive now as well so its not such a pain getting there most days.

will consider rickmansworth and uxbridge as well. peter days not to. we'd lopse the bungalow as i cant keep it on council rent if we move. coud i really unsettle the kdis even more?

i just cant bear the thought of doing this for another 3years. just hoping the ruling on vads and transplant change soon. (did you kow that somone with one side supported is of higher priotiy than someone with both sides supported)

misdee - I suppose it would depend on how long the doctors anticipate Peter will be there for (I guess it's maybe impossible to say though?).

Moving is a lot of upheaval and stress, and I would question whether you need all that on top of what you already have to deal with. Don't you currently have family living near you where you are? It would be harder for them to support you if you move.

I understand that travelling backwards and forwards is also stressful and difficult for you. Not an easy decision, and as nutty says, no-one can really make it for you, but if it were me, and going on the limited knowledge I have of your situation, I would be tempted to stay put.

Can you draw up a list of pros and cons for each situation?

I think the girls have to be a main concern (esp dd2 from what I can gather). Think stability is important right now...

how far is it at the mo?
And how could you cope without family support if one of the children was ill, for instance?
Based on what you have said I'd stay put.

it would be so much easier if we wre local to the hospital. when he was in hospital here it was so easy to pop in and out (mieow lives over the rd).

i cant do it. part of me thinks we should, but i cant give up the suitable home we fought for months for. if only we knew for definate what would be happening when. transplant could happen at any moment. its all so uncertain.

30miles.

x-posts - my computer is v. slow today.

Given what you have said, I would stay.

ok, that's far but many people do this as a daily commute to work for years and years.
I'd give my right arm for family near me - don't move. It sounds like everything else is right where you are.

I agree with what everyone says and would stay put for now.

thank you oh sensible ones.

i know people do this journey commuting, but they have a choice to change their jobs in most instances, i dont have much choice.

anyone want to do a short house swop? lol.