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Original poster

would you still have children

105 replies

jco · 03/02/2006 22:35

here's a question for you ladies, In your next life would you still have children if you could remember your experience of motherhood from this life?????

OP posts:
Serendippity · 04/02/2006 18:29

If you'd have asked me when dd was just born to about 5 months i'd have probably said no
Buuuut i have to say i would have them, it's lovely now she's 20 months.

Serendippity · 04/02/2006 18:30

Oh and i would probably have them around the same time as i have now (had her when i was 21)

Highlander · 04/02/2006 18:34

no no no. It's a whole lot worse than I ever thought.

Eulalia · 04/02/2006 18:41

Felt I had mine about the right time - ds1 at 33, dd at 36 and ds2 at almost 40 and had done a lot before children. Difficult to say if I'd have more in another life - in some ways yes but there is an awful lot of things one could do in life without kids too.

twirlaround · 04/02/2006 18:43

would have started in early 20's and had at least one more, maybe three more!

Clayhead · 04/02/2006 18:46

YES!

But, again, would have done it earlier.

Was 28 with d, 29 with ds but dh is 3 years younger than me so he was only 25 with dd, wish I'd have been that age TBH.

noddyholder · 04/02/2006 18:48

I wish I had had loads whilst my health was good so YES!!

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 18:50

yes. Always feel sad at these types of thread. Horrible that so many people are having such a tough time that enjoyment of their kids is hard to come by,

4blue1pink · 04/02/2006 18:51

I think if you asked parents of just teenagers they would be more reticent to say yes.......................

babies and toddlers are hard work but sooo rewarding whereas at times older children can take a lot of you but give very little....

I know thats not what its all about but if we are being honest.

I would definitely do it all again - At 38 I have 13,11 9 years old and then a gap...3year old and baby due and its good. i would recommend my gaps and the times i had them and would not be without them ..Does not mean i dont curse them every few days (hours !)

PeachyClair · 04/02/2006 19:00

I might have left it a bit later (wasn't hugely young at 26, but had only known Dh um, 12 weeks!)

but yes, absolutely. Ask me again at three tomorrow morning...

Original poster
jco · 04/02/2006 19:24

ScummyMummy sorry this thread makes you sad but when i first asked the question i meant it to be light hearted, didn't realise that some people would take it so seriously.

I wasn't asking if people regret having kids. i love my kids to pieces, they are my whole life and i wouldn't give them up for anything or anyone. and if i had my time again i would do everything exactly the same as i have. I love being with them and doing things together, they are my two best buddies.

we all have moments where we wonder what it would be like to have a life without kids, i'm sure you probably have too!!!!

OP posts:
spacedonkey · 04/02/2006 19:31

I wish I'd done it later (I was 23 and 25 when I had my two). Only because I had no career before children, and since having children our lives have been marked by financial insecurity, which makes life in general stressful and mars your enjoyment of family life to some extent.

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 19:40

Wasn't criticising, jco, not at all. Wouldn't dispute that it's very hard for many parents. But I think it's quite sad for so many reasons there's so little scope for lots of people to sit back and think "this is my life and it's good".

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 19:50

missed out a that

Hulababy · 04/02/2006 21:58

I would definitely stil have children. I love being a mum, and it is the most fulfilling job I have done to date.

HAPPYFACE · 04/02/2006 23:44

Saw this and had to add that I'm mum to two and very happy, even though they are hard work!!
I'm one of 4 and when I said to my mum I wasn't sure if we might go for number 3 or not she suprised me by saying;
"IF I HAD MY TIME AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN"
I WAS STUNNED!
She must think its o.k now as she is round our house 4-5 days a week!!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 05/02/2006 00:06

if I knew I was going to have 2 lives I'd probably have a go at lots more things that I haven;t tried in my current life - having kids/not having kids; getting married/not getting married; being wedded to a career/bumming round the world; being loaded/being an organic happy clappy hippy; hell I might even get religion in one of them. I'd have a lot of fun working out the particular combination (can I have 3 or 4 go;s please - it would be mush easier?); there's not much point in having another life and then doing everything the same. what a waste. But if I only had one but had a time machine to go back to the beginning then yes, it would probably end up being pretty similar. (and I'd like the same 2 kids please, if that's allowed)

TwoIfBySea · 05/02/2006 00:56

Yes and I would and have more, closer together. Dts are 4, I have to wait until next year to plan for number 3 and am using that time to convince DH that the age gap will mean it would be fairer to have number 4 too. Well, dts are very close and I wouldn't want number 3 to feel left out. Of course if I have more twins problem solved.

I am a glutton for punishment and away with the faeries! It is the woolly brain syndrome, I never recovered.

Sallystrawberry · 05/02/2006 01:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eulalia · 05/02/2006 10:30

Actually there isn't really an awful lot more I'd want to do come to think of it. I agree with SM does seem there is pressure to do everything in life - go round the world, hangliding etc....

One thing I have noticed as I've got older is that it doesn't matter where you go or what you do - it doesn't necessarily make you happy or an interesting person.

Sorry if I've made the thread too serious!

Lonelymum · 05/02/2006 10:33

If I could have another life, I mkght not have children again, not because having children is so awful, but just to do something different with my life second time around.

Filyjonk · 05/02/2006 10:56

Yes, definately.

But would have started saving from when I left school, I think!

merrymum · 05/02/2006 11:20

god yess my kids are my world i love being a mum from the sleepless nights to now

Wordsmith · 05/02/2006 11:33

I know loads of parents of teenagers who would say 'no'.

JCO I know where you are coming from, I have a 5 year old from hell at the moment too.

But I also agree with whoever it was that said they would marry a billionaire - not having to combine kids/work/housework and everything else, and having the luxury to do what you want, when you want, would make it a whole lot easier!

In answer to your question, I would have my kids again, but no more, because I love them. To put it slightly differently, if I hadn't had my kids, I don't think my life would have been missing anything. It would just have been different. I wouldn't have known what I was missing. Whereas now, when I see my single friends jetting off on luxurious child free city breaks, I do know what I'm missing!

I am an 'older' mum too (37 when I started) and I probably would have them younger if I could start again - but then again it depends on what stage your life is at, at the time.

fennel · 05/02/2006 11:39

definitely. yes. if i'd been sure we could have them easier might have left it another 5 years (had dd1 at nearly 32, others at 33 and 36) and really enjoyed the freedom a bit more. but that's not a regret, it was just erring on caution about fertility.

would also choose 3 girls again, as we have, if i could choose again.