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Original poster

The birth aside....landmarks that make you feel like a "real" mother?

157 replies

champagnesupernova · 17/11/2011 11:01

Mate on Facebook said that she felt like a real mum, now that she had cleaned up proper sick (!)
I have just sewn on my first name-tape and that really felt like a landmark moment...
What are yours?

OP posts:
CaptainKirksNipples · 19/11/2011 19:11

Lovely thread! Smile

CamperFan · 19/11/2011 19:17

Saying "pick your feet up, you'll ruin your shoes" the other day.

CheerfulYank · 19/11/2011 19:51

Me too MerryBerry . "Oh wow DS, really? Oh that's great..." and having Absolutely No Idea what he is talking about because I'm running through a million other things in my mind. Blush

feralgirl · 19/11/2011 20:03

Now that I have two DCs, the first time that I referred to "the kids".

Making DS's packed lunch for the first time gave me a real pang for some reason.

bluemousemummy · 19/11/2011 20:13

buying bunk beds. For some reason it made me feel like a proper grown up. And when I took them on a long trip recently and stopped at a service station. Where we live is fairly rural and for some reason being responsible for them somewhere so busy and crowded made me feel like a proper parent.

wildwind · 19/11/2011 20:29
  1. Holding DS and DD in my arms after two miscarriages and a massive clot and scares. Still have to pinch myself every day to believe they are here and mine.
  1. Slapping DS after hours of tantrums and counting to ten and leaving rooms and out-time and him hitting wee sister over the head with a wooden toy - then feeling like the WORLD'S WORST MUM EVER, but like a mum nontheless.
  1. DS hugging me after me explaining that rainbows are made with sunshine and rain.
  1. DD hugging DS. BEST MUM MOMENT IN THE WORLD.
CaptainKirksNipples · 19/11/2011 22:58

Watching a child fall over at end of the race at sports day and ds stopping to make sure he was ok, put his arm around him and took him to a teacher. He was 6.

UterusUterusGhali · 19/11/2011 23:08

This has probably been mentioned, but cupping my hands to recieve sick.

Yesterday I was on the phone & trying to get all three DC out of the house when the little one started wretching after eating a crayon.
I managed to calmly collect the technicolour puke in my hands and chuck it down the loo, clean up and cuddle him without a break in conversation.

I'm so proud.Hmm

LittlebearH · 19/11/2011 23:21

Lol Uterus. I too have cupped sick. And promptly wondered why I bothered! :)

tigerlillyd02 · 19/11/2011 23:23

One of mine was just last night although it was a sad moment!

I've ready many, many true life story books. Lots of them sad. But, last night started to read one, written by a foster carer who had to take on a little boy whose mum had died of cancer when he was 2. He's been brought up very well by his dad since then, but the boy is now 8 (in the book obviously) and his dad also has cancer and has a few months to live. So, she's having to meet the dad and little boy to put dads mind at ease before he goes.

I blubbed soooo much through it - to the point I thought I couldn't continue reading. I've only read 4 chapters but was upset all night and struggled to sleep. But, all I could think of was how I'd feel in the same circumstances as dad and it was the most heartbreaking thing ever, ever, ever!!

I knew then it was a 'real' mum feeling and moment. Before DS it would have just been yet another sad story.

tigerlillyd02 · 19/11/2011 23:29

Other than that - finding yourself saying what your own mum said to you. Such as:

Look with your eyes, not your hands
Because I said so, that's why
Chairs are for bums, not feet
If I have to tell you one more time, you're going to be in trouble (with THAT look on your face)

Then there's the jumping you do when you sense danger! Sometimes I think I'm going to faint from the shock and having to move so quickly with my heart pounding (even if nothing happened) :)

FabbyChic · 19/11/2011 23:36

The sad thing is when they get to be adults you forget all the soppy bits.a great thread.

2ddornot2dd · 19/11/2011 23:40

DD2 gave me a stick for the first time the other day, and I went all misty eyed.

Alicious · 20/11/2011 00:35

Love this thread-I'm trying not to sob at work!
The first time DS1 gave me a sweaty mangledbeautiful daisy he had picked in the garden-I still have it!
Listening to the 2 DSs giggling together in their bedroom after bedtime and thinking "I made them" it never fails to amaze me :)

elinorbellowed · 20/11/2011 09:43

Well, some of you have made me sob. My lovely aunty, when she saw pictures of me with brand-new DS said to my mum that I "looked like a woman now". I was 31.

Had one of these moments reading Dogger to both kids in bed this morning, DD on my chest and DS in the crook of my arm and just feeling so right.
Lying by the baby's cot all night, waiting for five hours to be over so I could give more calpol.
When DD was about 4 months and I took them both to the library while in the middle of DS toilet training. He needed a wee and I couldn't get the pushchair in the loo, nor put baby on dirty floor, so I had to hold him steady with baby in my arms. Ended up with wee all over my (yes, honestly) brand-new Boden coat. Just thought, the glamour.

carocaro · 20/11/2011 11:06

Recently when ds1 aged 9 just said 'loveyou' as he exited the car for football training, we just had a big chat about something at school that he was really fed up about and he felt much better afterwards. I thought yes I am god at this!

Megatron · 20/11/2011 16:35

I will NEVER forget DS's (now 7) first smile. We were lying on the bed, had just finished feeding him and he was all sleepy, he looked right into my eyes and gave me the biggest toothless grin in the world and fell asleep immediately. I cried for ages and didn't want to put him in his cot so I just lay and stared at him for bloody hours.

I still get that 'catch my breath' feeling when I check on them before I go to bed every night. Even though they've probably driven me mental for most of the day! Grin

Lyftiduft · 20/11/2011 17:46

Ah Elinor, it's Dogger that makes me cry, always has done apparently!

BornToFolk · 20/11/2011 17:55

When DS was 2.5 he nearly choked on a strawberry. He was sitting on my dad's lap and I could tell the strawberry was propery lodged in there. I flew across the room, grabbed him, put him across my knee and thumped his back until it came out. He was fine, no tears or anything so I just gave him a kiss and said "All better now? Good boy!" in a brisk, Mummy voice and went into the next room for a little cry.

He scared the life out of me but it made me realise that I actually do know what to do in a crisis and can do it. I didn't even stop to think about what I was doing.

Also when we went to the park recently and there were some (slightly scary looking) young men in the playground with a couple of (also scary looking) dogs. DS just wanted to go and it would have been really easy to walk away but I felt very strongly that I had to set an example so I went and asked the men to please take their dogs out of the playground so DS could use it. I would never, ever have done something like that pre-DS but I felt like I had to be responsible and do the right thing by him.

So, apparently being scared makes me feel like a real Mum!

gremlindolphin · 20/11/2011 18:31

Skiing down a mountain with the dcs aged 6 and 9!

Felt amazing and so pround but it also made me feel very old, grown up and sad at the passing of time as it didn't seem a minute since it was me with my parents for the first time.

openerofjars · 20/11/2011 19:07

Dogger makes me bawl my eyes out on occasion. I'm a bit more hardened to it now but it still makes a lump come to my throat. The first time I read it to DS I sobbed pathetically while he stared at me in confusion, poor mite.

I feel like a proper grown up mum today because we made the Christmas puddings this morning as a family and they are boiling on the stove now. Never done my own puds before but am impressed with how good they smelled.

gaelicsheep · 20/11/2011 23:26

BornToFolk - yesterday my 5 year old DS, usually really good and trustworthy, inexplicably took off across a layby and onto the grass verge of the A9 with traffic flying up and down at 60+ mph. He is trained to stop instantly when called, but he didn't stop til he got to the road. I have never been so scared in all my born days. I was sobbing into his shoulder with relief when I got him back to the car and haven't been able to get it out of my mind since.

Yes being scared sure makes you feel like a real mum. I feel like any incident like that unlocks ever deeper feelings that I didn't realise I had.

Bartimaeus · 21/11/2011 08:23

Some days I still don't feel like a mum (DS is 8 weeks), but a couple of times I have really felt like a mum stand out, both when DS was 4 weeks:

  • DS having a really bad cold and needing to pipette his nose. Poor thing usually screamed whilst having it done but calmed down immediately once it was finished and he realised he could breathe easily again. The first time DH heard it he was beside himself because he couldn't stand DS being so distressed. I just said "it needs to be done, it'll be better afterwards" - a real mummy! (to be fair to DH, the first time I did it I was so traumatised I nearly cried myself and wouldn't do it again for a few days)
  • DS was crying and being comforted by my mum. I tried not to be PFB and leave her to it but after about 5 minutes of screaming I gave in and took him. He stopped crying immediately!
rarebreed · 21/11/2011 13:16

Never really felt like a real Mum til i had my 2nd child a few weeks ago. DD's birth was horrendous and it took me months to bond with her.

I had a (wonderful) ELCS with Baby DS, it was the middle of the night and he started to cry for a feed. Lovely midwife popped her head in and asked if we were ok, did we need anything?

I just looked at her and smiled 'no, we're just fine, aren't we DS' with happy tears in my eyes and he just looked back up at me. Midwife smiled and went on to the next lady and i cried and cried.

Lovely. Smile.

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 21/11/2011 13:56

Congrats to Bartimaeus and rarebreed on your lovely snuggily new babies !

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