The birth aside....landmarks that make you feel like a "real" mother?

[champagnesupernova]

Mate on Facebook said that she felt like a real mum, now that she had cleaned up proper sick (!)
I have just sewn on my first name-tape and that really felt like a landmark moment...
What are yours?

*When they fall and run to you crying for a cuddle from only you and you kiss their tears away.

• making sodding Christmas Play outfits. *Being very assertive about hours I could work with my employer when my first was born.

I am reading these and sniffing back tears! So many are true...

SmethwiskBelle I felt that way on DD's first birthday. I finally understood what birthdays were about. I mean, I like presents & cake & parties as much as everyone else, but on DD's first birthday I finally understood that it was a true celebration of her wonderful life...

The first time I realised I was a Mom was when I was being moved from the Labour ward to the ante-natal ward after having DD. It involved riding in an Lift and the midwife pushing DD's bassinet walked ahead into the lift while my wheelchair was still in the coridor The Lift doors started closing and I panicked that she would go ahead without me. I have a lump in my throat just remembering it, the sheer FORCE of emotion that I would be seperated from her. I never knew I could love some-one so much!

When I was about 6 months PG first time and was listening to a radio program about the 'Make a Wish Foundation', feeling desperately sad for the families and suddenly getting a massive physical rush of love and KNOWING I would walk through fire and walls to protect my child.

I expect that was hormones.

..so other than that sitting up all night on the couch with DS1 asleep on my chest aged a few months ,who had a filthy cold and could not sleep lying down.

When I had to make the first phone call for an appointment for DS and I introduced myself "Hello I'm LittleBrian's mum"
I hadn't felt like anyone else's anything until then!

When you have a massive argument with your dh about who he would save if (god forbid) there was a fire or something.

Correct answer: The dc, obv.

Dh got the answer wrong - he wanted to save all of us, the fool!!

He wont make that mistake again.

I think the ferocity of the protectiveness I felt was what overwhlemed me most.....my ds1 (sadly) had to spend his 1st 2 weeks in hospital and one night he needed his IV resiting and I was so bleary eyed and tired when the nurse intially said she was taking him away to do it I just sat there. My mum said when the truth dawned on me that she was taking my baby away she thought I was going to rugby tackle her to the ground!!!

-buying the stocking fillers (realised I could by stealth control exactly what goes on the tree by including a bauble each time)

-watching Wizard of Oz 2nd time round and crying because I knew the ending and DDs didn't...ditto Mary Poppins, Chitty etc welling up now emoticon

When DS dropped his ice-cream and I gave him mine.

DD is only 20 months so I have a lot of these lovely moments to come. So far:

The first cuddle after DD's birth when I said "Hello, Darling!". I'm 25 weeks pregnant again now and can't wait to have that again.

Then during the first night when she woke up crying for a feed and I thought, "Right, this is really it now..."

Wearing an apron (esp. to puree some baby gruel).

Abandoning a handbag: I now just move my phone, wallet and keys from my laptop bag to the changing bag.

Like Stranded filling the stocking on Christmas Eve and hiding the easter eggs.

Saying "Hand over, please" when DD coughs or sneezes.

Holding the sick bowl.

When snot/drool/vomit on the shoulder is a badge of honour rather than a reason to get changed.

OP do you know me? I posted that FB status a few weeks ago. That was what made me feel like a real Mummy, cleaning up sick and my little girl being so poorly that all she wanted was me.

Can't wait for the Nativity Play stage. :)

stranded

These are making me well up!

When someidiot one drove into the passenger side of my car, where my 6mth old was sat in his car seat, I was overcome with ferocious maternal protection instinct and have never moved so fast to get out of the car to get him. Shouted v loudly at driver, then sheer terror set in when door wouldn't open as too dented. I then realised there is obviously another passenger door I could get in through! We were shaken but fine. I knew then my protection instincts were akin to a lioness on the Serengeti!
Also, when a receptionist said to the person she was on the phone to, 'can you just hold for a moment, there is a parent here waiting to ask me something'. It took me a minute to realise that I was the parent.

Yy to all the cuddles when DS is ill/ hurt or sad.

And as someone said, that moment I was wheeled to the post natal ward with my baby in my arms, was amazing. Definitely a landmark moment.

First ever school parents evening.....jamming your bottom into those little chairs in your childs school classroom, and knowing that this is for real, and your kids are depending on you to help them be the best they can in this scary competitive world........

Catching a poo in my hands to avoid it landing on the cream carpet!
OR
Fishing poo out of the bath plug hole

Oh lord this is making me a bit tearful too.

On post-natal ward when DD cried and I cuddled her and she stopped crying, thinking 'I comforted my baby!' (Then she started crying again and I though 'Oh b*gger help.')

Nothing makes me feel like a mother more then nit combing.

YY to all the vomit and poo stories. When sniffing DD's bum to check for poo is like second nature, and as automatic as running a hand on her forehead to check for fever.

When I realise I've spent all evening staring at the monitor watching her sleep, because she's so beautiful.

When I realise that if ANYONE tried to do anything to hurt her, or take her away, I would become their worse nightmare. The thing that sticks in my head is that a random thought I had a few days after she was born, that if anyone tried to hurt her I would cut off my own arm and beat them to death with it.

Sewing DS's mittens onto a piece of cord then threading them through his winter coat. They still don't get worn but at least they don't get lost!

Also just before Mothering Sunday when I picked him up from childcare, he was about 20 months old, and had made me a little bunch of flowers wrapped in a doily and tin foil. I was so overwhelmed as it was the first thing he had made for me. Every time I put it down to get him into his coat, or into his pushchair, he picked it back up and gave it back to me, he was so proud of it. Ooh I am welling up. I am pregnant though so it is allowed :)

So, DS is now napping and I am sitting down having a quick coffee and a sarnie. However, I am finding myself flicking onto CBeebies every now & then to see if Pudsey's Jump up & dance song is on, so that I can record it! DS and I are loving doing it in the lounge- it makes him so happy. Not a landmark moment, but i'd never have thought of doing this pre-DS and it's because I'm a mum. Crazy job sometimes?!

The first one.

I was at home with newborn DS and he started making funny noises in his sleep. I reached out to press the call button ...... ah yes, the person in charge here, the one with ultimate responibility, the one with my tiny baby's life in their hands ..... that would be me.

Another one .... in the back of an ambulance with ds2 having an asthma attack, smiling and 'listening for sirens' and jollying with Teddy...... and inside I was screaming "NONONONONONONONONOOOOOO!!!" as his oxygen sats dropped. But of course, Mummy doesn't get to have a panic. Mummy has to be a rock.

School funnily enough. Parent's evenings and school plays. I guess because I din't remember much about being a baby or preschooler myself but I do remember mum and dad in school - mum wearing her best coat smelling of Rive Gauche and wearing lipstick, dad in his suit straight from work. So that is what makes me feel like a proper parent.

My twins were born 12 weeks early and were rushed off straight away to special care so I never got to hold them or cuddle them for quite a while and the nurses did everything for them - so didn't feel like a mummy for a long time. I remember on day 2 or 3, having to give written permission for them for them to do a procedure and the form asked for "Relationship with patient" and I had to write MOTHER even though I didn't feel like it. Then a few days later, I walked into special care and said something like "Hello Isobel, Mummy's here, have you been a good girl whilst Mummy had her breakfast?" or something like that and she opened her eyes for the first time :-). The nurse saw and said she knew my voice (am crying whilst I type this, what a fab memory).

Years later, going to chuch on Mothers Day and the vicar asking the children why mums were so special. Lots of children put their hands up and she went round the congregation asking for answers - responses like she tucks me up in bed, reads me a story, always give me a kiss, plays with me, bakes with me, puts a plaster on my knee. Then she asked my daughter and she said "No matter what, she always loves me" and I thought wow, I've got it right as a mummy, I was so happy :-)

going slightly OT

but...

once when DS1 was going through an awful bout of teething and I was very lacking in sleep (and newly pregnant with DS2, that shockingly tired stage) I was making small talk with an old lady in the queue behind me. When I commented on how hard the night before had been, getting up every hour...blah blah...poor exhausted me type thing, she said
"well that is what makes you his Mother dear & not the hired help, so make the most of it, they don't stay little for long."

and that has always kept me going, though all the worst Mummy moments & as well as the best!

Hey Mandy, don't you know there are emotional mothers reading this thread, your post should come with a tissues may be needed warning

I had an awful time giving birth to my DS1 and ended up with a very traumatic csection. I'd been in agony and everyone else seemed to take over. Finally, a day after giving birth everyone had gone and it was just me and DS; it was late evening and he started crying, I'd asked the midwife to help me out of bed so that I could hold my baby. She left us alone and it was the first time I had been able to really have time alone with him, I looked down at him and he looked up and just stared right into my eyes and held it there. It took my breath away, I felt and knew then I was a mother. (I'd missed out on this moment when he was born). I finally felt like I had my baby it was an amazing moment after a very traumatic time. I always well up with happiness when I think of that moment.

These are making me cry! My best one was picking him up from school for the first time. I was in hospital for his first two weeks of reception, so OH and friends had been doing the school run. When he came to the door and saw me waiting in the yard for the first time, his little face lit up and he shouted 'Mummy! It's my mummy!' and I had to try very hard not to cry.