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Original poster

Bizarre things your children insist you do...

139 replies

nenevomito · 02/11/2011 08:52

Every morning, before he leaves the house, my son goes and hides in a box to become a "DS-in-a-box".

I have to turn an imaginary crank against the side of the box whilst singing a tinny version of "half a pound of tuppeny rice" getting faster and faster until he pops out, when I have to look shocked. He then gets his shoes on and we head out the door.

Does anyone else have any strange things their children insist on doing or insist that you do?

OP posts:
AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 02/11/2011 13:49

DS will only go to bed once I have read brown bear three times.
I have to say 'I love you more than' and he says 'Sunshine' before I turn out the light or he screams.

tethersend · 02/11/2011 13:50

DD made me pretend to be broccoli for about an hour the other day.

AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 02/11/2011 13:51

Oh and when I pick him up at lunchtime, He says to me 'To make my bunches grow, sing' and I have to sing back 'Milli Measure' much to the delight of his TA.

Then we can go home.

BupcakesandCunting · 02/11/2011 13:52

"I keep thinking he'll grow out of being fodded, but not yet, and he insists he'll still want me to do it when he's 30."

Fast-forward fifteen or so years...

"AIBU to think that MIL and DH are fucking WEIRD for doing this?"

Then comes a massive ranty thread about how OP's MIL insists on popping in to stroke her DH's nose before bed each night. Everyone will tell her to get to a refuge.

Grin
TobyLeWolef · 02/11/2011 13:53

Buppers, that made me snort mince pie crumbs out of my nose :o

BupcakesandCunting · 02/11/2011 13:55

You're welcome. Wink

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 02/11/2011 14:01

Nene just a thinking out loud sort of observation type thing Grin

DD3 likes to sit on my knee and twiddle my ear which bugs the fuck out of me

GhoulyNuff · 02/11/2011 14:01

My DD insists we all lift our feet as we drive over railroad tracks. She is 14!

KnitterNotTwitter · 02/11/2011 14:05

On mornings when DH is dropping DS to the childminders on his bike I have to do the 'funny running'. This is where I run along side the bike until DH picks up enought speed and I'm left behind waving. Every now and then DH deliberately cycles slowly and I make it all the way to the end of the road in my work suit and heels. Both DH and DS think this is hilarious...

Matronalia · 02/11/2011 14:06

When DD was little I once said 'Night Night Sleep Tight, See you in the Morning, I love you'. 6 years later I have to do it every bedtime for her and DS and wait for the little answering 'Love you' 'Luff vu' from their rooms before I can go downstairs and crack open the wine.

DS has to walk on one side of the road to take DD to school, on the way back we have to walk on the other side crossing immediately outside the school gates. The second we leave the gate he starts shouting 'Cross the road, cross the road' and dragging me towards the edge.

ezzie21 · 02/11/2011 14:12

my dd has to hoover the landing before she goes to sleep Hmm

i have tried suggesting she might like to do the stairs while shes at it but no its just the landing

smileitssunny · 02/11/2011 14:13

tethersend Grin broccoli? Any other veg?!

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 02/11/2011 14:17

Ghouly I still lift my feet when we go over rail lines....and I also lift my feet off the floor when I'm in a plane that's touching down. I have NO idea why I do the latter, but have done it since I was 4.

The feet up when driving over rail lines started when I was at school and all the girls seemed to do it whenever we were on a coach so I've done that since I was about 11.

Getdressed · 02/11/2011 14:30

My DDs insist that only Francois can wash their hair at bathtime. DH has to leave the room, call for Francois and then he comes back in with a French accent and discuss all things related to hair and holidays. They think it is hilarious and have done it for about 4 years now. Sophie from Australia steps in to help should Francois be away!

whyme2 · 02/11/2011 14:36

I had no idea the foot holding was so popular - I have four dcs and it is only the youngest who demands that I "holdee my foots mama". Personally I can't bear anyone touching my feet.

One very annoying thing my dcs do when we are in the car and only when I am driving is when we go round a corner (fast or slow) they all manically sway to the side as if I was going at top speed shouting "whooaaa" at the same time.
Drives me absolutely crackers

DontWantToHaveSex · 02/11/2011 14:37

When we're walking in public and DS (3 yo gets a bit tired), he pretends (very loudly) to be a train 'chugga-chugga-chugga'. And then stops dead. He will not move until you have pretended to top him up with oil (so I pretend to be holding an oil can over his head saying drip drip drip) and water (so I pretend to pour water into hs mouth saying wooosh) and only then will he continue to walk on the pavement. Until he next decides that he is 'empty' and we start the whole process all over again ...

Psammead · 02/11/2011 14:46

DD (22 months) would desperately love to do something like this. I avoid all her little traps. DH, on the other hand, is a sucker. She bit the flannel once or twice when he was washing her face and now they have to do it every time. She bites it, and he waggles it like it's a dog toy.

TrinaLuciusMalfoy · 02/11/2011 14:57

Honestly can't think of anything: except DH hasn't been able to sit and watch a single episode of Strictly. As soon as the theme music starts up DD pulls daddy out of his chair and they spend the entire episode dancing around the floor :)

HerRoyalNotness · 02/11/2011 15:05

DS1 who is still sleeping in our bed , tries to put his cold feet in the just a bit down the top of my pj bottoms to snuggle against my obviously ample bum.

The only answer to Are we there yet? in the car, is to reply in the style of Mr Incredible "WE GET THERE, WHEN WE GET THERE"

mememummy · 02/11/2011 15:12

DD aged 3 nearly 4 likes she feet rubbed/ back rubbed/ hair pulled, like actually pulled till it hurts she even says no mummy like this hard

starfleet · 02/11/2011 15:13

When DS was younger I always had to say "May the force be with you" each morning when leaving him at school. I wasn't 'allowed' to say goodbye. The teachers often gave us strange looks. His parting words were always "You don't know the power of the dark side". It went on for 2 years.

Now I'm lucky if I get a grunt before dropping him off!

beanandspud · 02/11/2011 15:13

If we are out in the woods and DS picks up a stick he has to shout "Fetch!!!" when he throws it back. We don't have a dog, but it's apparently what you Have To Do when you throw a stick.

BunnyBaby · 02/11/2011 15:44

When my DS stays at my parents he insists they put a 'toast blanket' on their bed first thing in the morning, which in reality is a towel to stop crumbs getting in their bed! In our house there is no time for toast or breakfast in bed, so purely a grandparent one! Lol

phlossie · 02/11/2011 16:15

When I get to the door of my DC's room to leave at bedtime, one of them shouts 'Joke!' Then they both tell me an awful joke. This happens every night. I've bought them joke books for Christmas so at least they have a decent repertoire.

allhailtheaubergine · 02/11/2011 16:20

3yo ds insists on me racing him to the loo when he needs a wee. Woe betide me if I win though... Hmm.