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Original poster

Bizarre things your children insist you do...

139 replies

nenevomito · 02/11/2011 08:52

Every morning, before he leaves the house, my son goes and hides in a box to become a "DS-in-a-box".

I have to turn an imaginary crank against the side of the box whilst singing a tinny version of "half a pound of tuppeny rice" getting faster and faster until he pops out, when I have to look shocked. He then gets his shoes on and we head out the door.

Does anyone else have any strange things their children insist on doing or insist that you do?

OP posts:
Wigeon · 02/11/2011 22:12

Grin at all of these.

DD1 (3) often insists that I pretend to be my sister. So we will spend entire mornings with her addressing me as my sister, asking where my boyfriend is (ie my sister's boyfriend) and what he's doing, saying she likes it at my house (ie our actual house, which she is pretending is my sister's house) and so on. It gets quite wearing!

She recently pretended I was Granny in the playground, calling me "Granny" loudly, and I got a bit worried that the other parents thought I actually was her Granny (I think if people thought I was a couple of years older and if both I and DD's (imaginary) mother were young teenage mothers, I could just about be her granny).

She also likes me to pretend I am the pre-school teacher like a poster earlier on the thread. I have to read out her homelink book to a pile of cuddly toys or sometimes her baby sister the rest of the class.

She pretends to be a stone every evening when she gets out of the bath. This involves crouching down and covering herself in her towel. This kind of behaviour seems common among pre-schoolers on this thread!

She is a railway signal each time we brush her teeth. When her arm the signal is raised, we have to stop brushing. When it is lowered, we can start again.

I'm sure there are loads of other things!

Wigeon · 02/11/2011 22:17

When I drop DD off at pre-school, she has to squeak like a mouse and I have roar (quietly, so as not to disturb the other children) like a lion.

jollymary · 02/11/2011 23:07

This thread is fab! My DS is now 8, but still insists on the Calpol sachet routine when he is ill: (intoned solemnly whilst waving sachet in air to mix contents and squidge them down to bottom) " Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, Naughty Mr Calpol. You should be on the spoon, not flying to the moon"... there are many other rhyming variables, and suitable gestures to match. Have no clue how or why this started...

WaftyCrank · 02/11/2011 23:12

Not with me but my DS1 is obsessed with Transformers and told his one to one TA that she has to be Bumblebee and he is Optimus Prime.

Hearing him cheerily shout, 'Good morning, Bumblebee!' as he walks into the playground every morning always makes me smile. :o

She's taken on the role very well though, even researching who Bumblebee was so she could play him at her best. He adores her :)

SingingSands · 02/11/2011 23:25

The car ones are very funny - reminded me that when we drive down hills, my two like to throw their hands above their heads and shout "woo hoooo!" and pretend to be in a rollercoaster.

I am absolutely loving the sulky tent Grin

Sleepingonthebus · 02/11/2011 23:28

DD has only just grown out of lying on the floor after her bath, covered with a tower, and pretending to be a pile of rubbish.

I had to pick up the 'pile of rubbish' and dump it in the bin (her bed).

JoInScotland · 03/11/2011 01:02

Where do I start? When walking into town, we have to go by the big church beside the library because it has the best BONG in town. We have to go by near the hour so we can listen to the chimes leading up to the enormous BONGS. Since this happens at 10am, so we can be home for lunch, DS now believes that clock only chimes 10. Ever. And I quite often have to pretend to be the clock when he is obsessing about it at home.

He has to put his wellies away on the bottom step, near the shoe rack. I am not allowed to do it, and if I do, he comes and rearranges them in some other order until he's happy.

If I really want him to eat dinner and he is not feeling great or dawdling for some reason, I have to tell him the story of the three bears, complete with voices and hand motions. Then he'll eat anything and his eyes do not leave my face.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 03/11/2011 01:56

Wow - some of you are so indulgent patient!!

Sleeping on the bus - I hope this isn't cos she's gone to uni Grin

ChippingInAutumnLover · 03/11/2011 01:57

I do love the Sulky Tent though!!

He's discovered his cave good & early hasn't he!

PGTip · 03/11/2011 02:17

SingingSands - mine do the rollercoaster thing as well!!! We also used to have to yodel when we went thro' tunnels or into multi-story carparks, latest about 4 years that one!

SeoraeMaeul · 03/11/2011 02:30

Loving Starfleet's - suspect this will start a nationwide trend (well worldwide in my case!)
DD (2) likes to be 'little cat' and I have to be 'mummy cat' and lie down and wrap round her to like a cat and it's kitten pretending to sleep. This has evolved into DS (5) then being a 'puppy' and bounding up woofing and waking up the cats. Blush hmmm maybe we're just weird

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/11/2011 03:50

Oh, lordy, an interpretative sausage and mash dance. That is utter, utter genius.

I'm so glad to know it's not just our household! DD won't let me put her socks on unless I have enquired politely of each foot whether it is cold, and they have assured me that they are indeed cold. And after I have put the first sock on, the second foot starts squeaking about how cold it still is, help, so I have to hurry up and besock it.

ninedragons · 03/11/2011 05:48

Thankfully the phase seems to have passed, but for a long time every time we got on a bus, for the benefit of DC1 I had to put up my hood, pull the drawstring closed so that only my nose protruded, then hum the Pink Panther song.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 03/11/2011 07:08

When we lived in Switzerland, DD and DH started giving tunnels marks out of 10. I was happy to join in. She did flummox the Father of a friend when he was driving them somewhere. She asked him how many the tunnel was worth and got very Blush when she had to explain.

youarekidding · 03/11/2011 07:28

DS insists I feed him and provide snacks every 2-3 hours - you can set a watch by him. Wink

CustardIsMyNemesis · 03/11/2011 08:26

My DD (3) has a pre-shower ritual. When all of her clothes have been taken off she has to run into every room upstairs and do a little bum wiggling dance, finishing up in my room where she can see the bum wiggle dance in the full length mirror.

This is purely a pre-shower ritual, she will not do this dance if she is having a bath.

MrsFruitcake · 03/11/2011 08:33

Every morning, DS (3) gets in bed with us, snuggles up to me and puts his little hand on the top of my boob and rests it there. Must be a comfort thing because he does it during the day sometimes when he's tired or upset.

Wonder when he'll grow out of that! Could be a bit like 'bitty'. Smile

Original poster
nenevomito · 03/11/2011 08:59

I have laughed so hard at some of these I have cried.

As I cranked the DS-in-the-box handle this morning, it just didn't seem so mad any more Grin

Surprising how many little rituals there are when they get out of the bath!

OP posts:
TobyLeWolef · 03/11/2011 09:50

My DS has 2 teddies. He's had them since he was born. He decided when he was 2 that they were called Kevin Hmm
Both of them Hmm
Green Kev and Blue Kev.

I used to have to 'tell them off' every night and tell them to 'look after my boy or there will be trouble'. Sometimes I had to pretend they were interrupting me as I was lecturing them.

This went on until DS was around 7. I suppose I'm lucky to just get away with the fodding now.

BertieBotts · 03/11/2011 10:00

valley! I used to get my mum to do that. And nose in ear. And we'd invent all sorts of different kisses. My favourite was the chicken kiss where you had to peck each other on the lips at high speed Grin

dairymoo · 03/11/2011 10:00

My 4yo DTs often pretend just to be friends and quite often one DD will bound out of school asking if their 'friend' (i.e. other DT) can come over for a sleepover. I am obviously very encouraging of these playdates and so one DT leads the other home, commenting along the way "this is our neighbour, this is our driveway, etc". When they get home, the invited DT gets introduced to all of (her) toys, shown where she will sleep (her bed)....and so on. It's a brilliant game which I love as it totally negates the need for any additional playdates! Grin

Sephrenia · 03/11/2011 10:57

I know this is mainly about our DCs, but there's something my mum got my brothers and I doing when we were little that we still do today.

Every time we were going to on a car journey that involved anything remotely resembling a motorway, we would apparently start bugging her about how long the journey was going to take, how we needed a sweet, how so and so was picking on me and so on and so forth.

To try and get us to stop arguing and whining when we were going out, mum got us trying to get the names from the front of Eddie Stobart lorries. At first we didn't believe that lorries had names so were quite surprised to find that they DID have them.

Since then, no matter how long the journey, or who we happen to be with at the time, we start looking for Eddie Stobart lorries in the hopes that we can start a list for that trip and we're always dead quiet until we get where we're going (I double checked that with my brothers a while ago in case I was the nutty one Wink )

I'm 30 now and I still get annoyed if I miss a name when an Eddie Stobart lorry passes by and I miss it, or ridiculously excited if I catch it and automatically turn to show off that I got the name first. DH thinks it's slightly bonkers about how intense we become when we see those lorries.

Blush

P.S. Our record is 22 names in one trip Wink

kmdwestyorks · 03/11/2011 11:19

DD recently discovered the shock of cold water poured over bath warm skin and she loved it! I had to tell her if she got cold water from the tap then i assumed the bath was finished.

No bath is now allowed to finish until she has grabbed a jug full of cold water and it has been dribbled over her head and body.

Why??????????????

NewbeeMummy · 03/11/2011 11:19

When you get DD dressed you have to kiss her feet and then her knees - right side first always)

When getting into bed, you have to do up the gro-bag, and then pass her first woo-woo and then spot (stuffed dogs)

And her bed toys have to give her kisses in the right order, Rabbit, then Owl, and then Teddy, and Teddy has to attck me with lots of kisses.

Maybe OCD is genetic... Poor child

azazello · 03/11/2011 11:23

I have to check which animal 4YO DD is before asking her to do anything.

If she is a dog, she only answers to the name 'zellabellella', cat, squirrel, otter and meerkat name is 'sophie', snake, monkey or horse is 'sidney'. If I get it wrong, she doesn't answer. Occasionally (but not always) she will make the noise of the animal in question to give me a bit of a clue.