Southerners

[Rhubarb]

hmmmmmm, drive too close to your rear end, brake unneccessarily, talk very loudly, have funny accents, but are quite friendly really. BUT what do you do? We haven't seen any families around, no kiddies in pubs which makes us feel a bit guilty! Where do you all go to? And why do most of your pubs have really shite names like "The Shoulder of Lamb" eh?????

I knew this would be you!

And why don't you have any real ales ffs! Lager Top? Phluuuuuuuussseeee!

Did you emerge unscatched from Oldham station Scummy? That's quite a feat you know!

Yep- it was an easy peasy trip for a tough southerner!

There is actually nobody on the streets right now, where is everyone? It's like one of those movies when you wake up and realise that everyone has been annihilated whilst you slept off last nights lager and curry. Welcome to Suburbia, home of the undead!

Another lager-top?

We are all at home indulging in filthily imaginative acts of sophisticated sexual perversion you don't get up north.

Ewwwwwwww! That's not a pretty thought!

Scared you, eh? All tough talk and no trousers, huh. So to speak.

and why don't you like gravy on chips?

Where are you exactly? Bournemouth?

No real ale???

Never met Fullers London Pride then?

ha ha,yeah, what MI said. And the pubs are called that because that's what we eat down South.

Oi, plenty of life in Bournemouth, if you please!

how south exactly are you?

the southerners are probably tired you know - heavy sales shopping in laura ashley rush home to bake cakes and make mini banquet tea before creating, designing and making from scratch a new table piece for supper. then playing with the kids ( only educational) its a tough life you know, no time to go to pub and play pool.

How did I know my Bournemouth comment would bring the locals out!

London Pride is gross! We're in Wantage, the boredom end of nowhere!

Gimme a Boddingtons!

Well if we're not having a pint of Brakspear's in the Shoulder of Mutton (with the kiddies in teh garden with their lemonade), then, as MI said, we are at home (note: not in the street vomiting, being taken from behind by someone called Kevin) indulging in wild and perverted sexual pleasures.

I know of a 'Shoulder of Mutton' in North Yorkshire.
And a Slaughtered Lamb

Message withdrawn

Where's Wantage? Dorset?

Perverted and sophisticated. Taking our socks off, yet.

Wantage Oxfordshire? So you are not talking about the bright lights are you?

BTW, is it true that all northerners walk around at night in sub zero temperatures in nothing but a t-shirt (on top) or a skimpy blouse and mini skirt?

Yes, and our huge thighs look like corned beef.

and that is just the blokes.

London Pride

ahem -

Northern snob

Boddingtons is natures insulator dontcha know.