Jodie, I cross posted there as I was writing an essay. I guess that's it, there are times in life when people just see things so differently it's hard to find that common viewpoint. I am no religious person but to me it's that whole "but now we see but through a glass darkly" stuff.. you can't see everything from everyone's point of view, our minds and hearts just don't allow it and if they could we'd probably explode. It would be like that Radiohead video, we would all just lie down in the street to die if we had to really "get" all the suffering the world has to offer.
Whenever I feel like that about life, I think about my grandmothers.. both in their 80's now, both who have been through such suffering and joy that it is scarcely believable.. and it's hard to look at them sometimes and think that they got through that and they went on and that all those painful times passed. My father's mother was abused to the point of nearly losing her life in her marriage, watched her children raped, had several second trimester losses because of beatings, her brother died in a tragic accident, a son ended up in prison, her sister had a mental breakdown and killed her newborn baby.. it sounds like a soap opera but it is not, it was her life.. and yet if you met her you would just never know any of this. The human capacity for moving onwards in the most intolerably painful situations is just astounding but sort of terrible too, because in the end, she had to do all that on her own really.
And it seems that's the case for so many people still, people just have to struggle on through really painful situations and probably ALL of us feel we have it the worst sometimes. And we are all right, in our own way.
Infertility is not my pain, so I really shouldn't and can't really comment on it or understand it as you do.
Unmumsnetty hugs and all of that.