Getting it off my chest....

[Willow2]

Anyone want to join in on a thread just devoted to sounding off about (non parenting) things that have annoyed you? Well here goes...
I would like to say a big thank you to the absolute xxxxxx that pranged my car while it was parked outside my house sometime in the last 48 hours. The fact that you didn't feel it necessary to leave your details just adds to my love for you. You are probably one of the caring commuters who parks in my road (for free) all day before taking the train to town - glad that we can be of service. Nor should you let the
fact that your journey has turned our quiet little cul-de-sac where kids play footie in the street into the fifth lane of the M25 worry you in the least. And don't be perturbed by the fact that I, and all the other mums in the road, can now no longer park anywhere near our houses when we come home with the supermarket shopping and a car full of screaming kids. Hey, it's all just helps make our day even more fun. So thank you, nameless stranger, for completely annihilating the front of my car and losing me my no claims bonus. My week had looked really boring, now, thanks to you, there's so much to do... I have to go to the police station, get insurance quotes, fax my insurers and then wait for them to send an assessor round to view the damage. And then, if I am really lucky, I will lose the use of my car for several days. Gee things are looking up. You have really made my day.
Sorry chaps, just had to let it out.

Bozza, try calling your council and complaining. We've had great luck complaining about our binmen. We also live on a cul de sac, and our binmen were coming at 6 am (they aren't supposed to come before 7am) and then reversing back up the street (beep, beep, beep) and shouting to each other and leaving garbage all over the street. A few people on the street complained to the council (ours have a special dept. for bin men complaints) and they now come after 7am, are very quiet and don't drop garbage everywhere. Of course my very irate tatooed husband swearing his head off at them in his boxers in his best northern accent at 6am and threatening to beat them all up if they woke up his pregnant wife again might have helped as well.

Thought of this one the other day... it's one of my pet peeves. Friends who are having a telephone conversation with you, and spend half the time talking to/yelling at their children when you're in the middle of a sentence. One of my friends always does this, whether I phone her or whether she phones me - I'll be in the middle of saying something and she'll suddenly scream at her children, then when I start talking again, she does the same thing again. Then a couple of minutes later she'll start having a conversation with them while she's talking to me (like I'm not even there). REALLY bugs me... wouldn't you think she could set aside a few minutes to talk on the phone without having to do this every time!!!!!!!! I know that some interruptions are unavoidable but I always try to phone people when ds isn't around or when he's asleep, so that I can concentrate on the conversation.

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robinw I've been reading your messages about your dughter's nut allergy for some time. Can't offer anything I'm afraid but sympathy. Do hope you and your daughter soon get all the support you need to live with this problem.

Liamsmum have to agree.MY brother and sil have been doing this for 16 years and it drives me daft.

Liamsmum - how old is your child? I would love to have a conversation with no kids, unfortunately this now means after evening bedtime, in between our evening meal, rest of chores etc, and bedtime. Phone conversations are definately one of the things I think gets harder, not easier, as they grow up! (BTW eldest dd now also tries to join in by picking up phone in another room - that REALLY is annoying).
Robinw - sympathise a lot. My dd has a dairy intolerance - nowhere near as bad as nut allergy - & I struggle to get grandparents to stop offering things like cheese & ice-cream, let alone friends. If I knew anyone with a nut allergy was going to one of my dds parties, then the whole lot would have to be nut free, so they didn't feel left out.

Berries my ds is almost 23 months. He's actually quite good when I'm on the phone, but I try to keep it short when he's around. I suppose what annoys me with my friend is that she doesn't give me any warning (eg. asking me to hold on for a moment while she speaks to them), she just shouts in my ear or talks to them while I'm mid-sentence. I do understand that's it can be difficult to talk when there are children around though.

Liamsmum - just you wait. Actually I have been told that this stage is definately easier than when they are teenagers, and you can't have a decent phone conversation because they are always on it!
My pet hate is childless people assuming that you always have an armful of doting grannies to leave the kids with when you need to do something. A work colleague (female) actually moaned to me about 'those selfish women who bring their kids to the Trafford Centre when they go shopping' - no doubt filling up the place & banging into their ankles with buggies when they stop dead for a chat. When asked whether she though I should shut the kids in the kitchen with the dog when I had to go shopping, she suggested that I 'just drop them off at their grannies or something'. I very politely replied that a 200 mile round trip prior to going shopping was not really an option, and also that my kids don't have detachable feet so buying shoes without them was a bit tricky as well.
Rant over

My dh "mate" came into our house after work last friday and said to me as I was a little subdued "what's wrong with you?" and I said "I'm a bit tired" and his face contorted as if to say how can you be tired when you are at home all day. I have a 20 mth toddler and am 6 months pregnant so I think it is OK to admit to being tired now and again. He then waited as dh changed dd's nappy and as dh made her giggle, 'mate' turned to me with sympathetic face -"can't you make her do that, then?" I don't really know what he meant but I think he confused my dead pan expression to his first reply as some sort of jealousy towards my dh and his relationship with his dd. This mate has 1 son who doesn't live with him and never has so I don't see why he thinks he's qualified to comment. Everytime I see him he leaves me feeling annoyed but his girlfriend is a close friend of mine. The last time we went out together he said they wouldn't have children before they were married because they would do things the right way round - which I took as an insult to me and my dh as I became pregnant and later married. We are in our 30's for god sake and don't need anyone's permission or approval but when I pointed this out my dh kicked me under the table which went down well when we got home as you can imagine!

I have to have a moan about the absymal way some people park their cars in parking bays. I came out of Tescos yesterday, it was pouring with rain, ds in the trolley. I arrive at my car to find a white van 'parked' 2 inches from the door so I'm unable to open the back passenger door to put ds into his carseat. The driver (male) fortunately arrived a couple of minutes later and we had a few 'words'. As he backed out, I was just about to wheel the trolley around to take ds out (we were both pretty soaked by this stage) when another (male) driver came into the bay and did exactly the same thing!

white van drivers, full stop.

I'm getting SO pissed off at the weather. I'm not asking for much... just a couple of days of sun... preferably at the weekend. It's done nothing but rain since April and today it's COLD as well. Dh has even given up on his golf as the courses are so waterlogged (and I quite enjoyed the peace and quiet while he's away!).

Normally in Scotland you get a good spell in May, but we haven't even had that to keep us going. Even "Heather the Weather" (Scottish Mumsnetters will know her) is starting to look depressed when giving the weather forecast.

Given SofiaAmes recent comments about Vitmain A & D, this weekend I resorted to buying some supplements for ds as he never has a chance to get outside as the weather has been so bad.

It's SUPPOSED to be summer after all! I haven't even bothered getting my summer clothes down yet - there's been no reason to wear them yet!

Too true Janz. We are in Scotland too. I borrowed some summer maternity wear from a friend only to return it to her unused. DS2 now 3 weeks has some lovely summer things that have not been worn, he is mostly wearing his big brother's (January baby) cast off winter woolies.

Sorry to change the subject but I just had to get this off my chest, I am so mad that I am shaking. We share a garden with 3 other houses and have a 6 foot fence all around with a locked gate to keep unwanted dogs and children out. One of my neighbours has just been out to cut the grass (a job that I normally do but have been to busy just recently. She had 2 dogs keeping her company and I have just been out to find a pile of poo right in front of the sandpit where the children play. I also found some in the same place last weekend and the children trod in something (don't know if it came from a cat or dog) the week before and spread it all around the house. I went out and cleaned it up immediately complaining very loudly about other people's by disgusting animals and why should I clean their mess up etc. so this neighbour was bound to hear. The trouble is I can't say anything to her because I can't prove that it was her dog (she doesn't own it but looks after it frequently). I have previously asked her not to let the dogs use the garden as a toilet and I thought that this had been taken on board but apparently not. On the first occasion I picked 12 lots of poo up in one day and I did say something. Another time I had words with her but she denied that it was her dog (and it probably was a cat as it turned out).

What can I do? Unfortunately moving isn't an option because we can't afford it though we would dearly love to escape. It really brasses me off!

Pam, does this neighbor have any children of her own? She doesnt seem to be a considerate person. I know this is probally a rude thing to do, I dont even know if I would do it but since she knows you have small children who use the garden to play why not scoop the poo and place it right by her door? Then maybe she will get the picture. Im only saying this because it seems you have already mentioned this problem to her. You should not have to put up with this inconsideration for others. I would want to do something rather then deal with this type of thing all the time. Since she does not care what else can you do to get the pont across?

Threeangels, I feel like posting it through her letterbox right now. She doesn't have any children and generally keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause us any problems. I don't want to fall out because it would make things unpleasant and we still have to live here. At the moment I can't say that it was definitely her dog that did the poo, it could have been a cat I suppose but DH did see a dog in that particular place so I am pretty sure. We have even had discussions with her only a couple of weeks ago about the digusting cat poo everywhere so I am stunned that she has allowed this to happen. After I had the first mammoth cleaning session she was obviously very embarrassed and avoided me for a while so I'm hoping that my rather loud outburst hit home, if not she is going to get some presents on her doorstep.

PamT, I find the whole idea of what people think is ok when it comes to poo very strange. My neighbors who all have small children complain constantly about all the people who have dogs and let them poo in the street in front of our houses (we live on a cul-de-sac so all the kids play on the street). Yet they all have cats, and concrete gardens to go with them, and their cats all go in my lovely planted garden and they think that's perfectly ok. Why they can't provide a box of kitty litter in their own gardens I don't know. In a fit of rage I once did throw some cat poo back over the fence of the worst offender.

PamT, Your so funny. I understand completely about not wanting to have problems with your neighbors. Especially when you have no chooce to live next door. Your last sentence was so funny. Im still laughing.

Threeangels - I don't think she'll find it funny

SofiaAmes - we have far to many cat owners around here and have discussed this problem at length on the Gardens thread but I was so mad last night that I had to get it off my chest. I'm still cross and I have got up extra early this morning so that I can do a poo check. I can see the dogs' favourite toilet place from this desk so if she lets them out before she goes to work I might catch them in the act.

PamT, you could sprinkle the area liberally with fine ground black pepper. I am reliably informed that if this gets on the business end of a dog or cat they will never use that patch again.
Does your neighbour know that dog faeces can carry toxicara parasites, which can cause sight loss and other serious long-term health effects in children, if they touch the mess then put their fingers in their mouths? Dog faeces are not just disgusting, they are dangerous. If they're not her dogs, does she know how frequently they are wormed?
Who owns the garden? Are you all tenants? If so, what does your lease say? Who put the fence up, and paid for it? You might be able to get some action without having to confront her personally.
But I think the presents on the doorstep idea is a good one too!

Marina, we all own our own houses (a L shaped terrace of 4) and the deeds are very vague about the back garden, they talk only of hanging rights and rights to use the privvies (demolished a few years ago). We are the only people still living here who were here and contributed to the costs of the fence, all the other occupants have moved in since. All the arrangements for the back garden have been informal and as I am the only one at home during the day we generally have free run of it. I also do most of the maintenance, or did until this particular neighbour decided to tend to the borders nearest her door, and this is the first time anyone else has ever cut the grass.

On this occasion I can't be absolutely sure that it was her dog that left the poo, but it certainly looked more like it was from a dog than a cat. One of the other neighbours also has a dog and does very occasionally bring it into the garden whilst collecting washing etc so at this stage I really can't go firing accusations even though I am 99% sure who is to blame.

I will certainly point out the toxicara risk next time I speak to her, I don't know if she knows, but she certainly isn't bothered.

Would you believe it, the other neighbour has just knocked on my door because he is doing some jobs on the back of the house - and brought his dog with him which has promptly cocked its leg all over everything in sight, including leaving a yellow puddle on the sandpit! I filled the watering can and washed it away right in front of them. This is only 2 minutes after my conversation with him about dog poo in the garden. AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Let me find a wall to bang my head on - or better still a sewer to climb down, it is bound to be cleaner.

Update. The neighbour with the 3 (yes, more than I thought) dogs belonging to other people has actually taken them for a walk tonight - she stood on the pavement across the road whilst the dogs did what they had to on the verge for all of 2 minutes. I wouldn't care but she only has to walk 100 yds and she is in open fields. The dogs have been locked in the house since 7.30 this morning until 6.30 tonight.

I have revenge planned for the male dog and his male owner. I should have been quick enough to ask him if it was acceptable for my kids to go and pee all over his property, unfortunately my brain doesn't think that fast. I am now planning to empty a potty all over the tools that he has left in the back garden, I might use a squeezy bottle to make it look like a dog squirt. He might not notice if it dries before he sees it but I would feel a whole lot better. If I don't get a full enough potty I might even contribute myself. Revenge is so sweet, however disgusting

I'll never go to heaven with such evil thoughts!

Sorry to hear of your problems, PamT. IME poo on the lawn is much more likely to be dog rather than cat as cats like to go somewhere soft e.g newly-dug borders, sandpit(!) etc and only use grass when the ground is so hard they cannot dig it up. I have two suggestions : could you install a dog "loo" as this may encourage your neighbour to clear up after the dogs; or could you agree with your neighbours to fence off a part of the garden for your childrens' use? Re cats, again IME the best deterrent is one of your own, preferably a big lazy neutered tom who cares nothing for mousing (or you, come to that) but who cares passionately about seeing off all other cats. Our cat doesn't even bother coming into the house any more, he lives in the conservatory. Might not be a solution if you don't like cats though.

One other possibility : the poo could be fox, although this does have a particularly musky smell. You may think your garden is fox-proof but they can get in very small spaces.

Re th edogs pooing on the verge, this is almost certainly an offence under local by-laws. You can ring your local environmental health officer who can give you cards to display (on lamposts, fences, on home-made stands even) which will give details of the fine if caught. We did this outside our house and it did work. If it carries on and you are feeling totally p**d off, you can take photos and send them to the council! You probably have some legal redress over the poo in the garden, too, although you might not want to take that route.

No constructive advice to add but, just of of idle curiosity: if all these dogs belong to other people, what are they doing in your neighbour's house?

You'll probably be pleased to know that I didn't do the potty thing because it was raining and would have washed it all away, I'll save that one for another day.

I don't think the fox would come into our garden, there is no food for it whereas there are plenty of bags of rubbish strewn around by other non-caring families further down the street. Our local fox is also a very old one and I don't think he would jump over the 6ft fence, the only other access being a 2" gap under the gate. The cats around here do seem to go anywhere they like, particularly in wet weather, though we never see them doing it. As for the neighbour with 3 dogs, she is looking after them for other people - I don't know why when she is out at work all day. The verge is actually an overgrown bit of open space which has become a dog toilet. When a new estate was built this area was supposed to be landscaped but was left to its own devices. To be honest I would prefer people to use it for their dogs rather than take them on the footpath where I have to walk with the children. We do have a dog warden who comes round every so often but I don't think he ever catches any of them in the act.

BTW we can't have a cat because DH is allergic, not that we would want one anyway.