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Im REALLY going to get married! Woohoo!!!! BUT HELP PLEASE!

115 replies

QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 20:40

Yay!

Its not a new engagement - he asked me Christmas about 8 years ago now! We kept putting off setting a date because of buying a house, and then not being too old to have kids etc etc which suited us both.

Anyway - we wanted to do it before DD went to school so we had the same surname and now we are.

The tough bit is that we have got a REALLY tight budget (nowhere near what the alleged national "average" cost of a wedding is). But we still want it to be a bit special (not just a slash and dash in gretna green affair).

We want:

A civil ceremony.
I would like to have a "traditional" dress though along with the bridesmaids dresses (although these i am hoping family members can make for us if we buy material).
The reception - it would be nice if we could have at least a small number of people for a sit down meal followed by buffet reception after.
A proper honeymoon (the traditional 5 day one is fine by us).?

Does ANYONE have any tips, ideas or suggestions for cost saving? Plus any nice (cheapish) UK honeymoon destinations?

TIA!

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teeavee · 29/10/2005 20:41

portmeirion is lovely for a honeymoon - my sister went there, they sometimes have deals with 1 extra night for free, and they offer a childminding service too

Tiportreatex · 29/10/2005 20:42

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QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 20:44

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SenoraPostrophe · 29/10/2005 20:47

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buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 29/10/2005 20:47

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Tiportreatex · 29/10/2005 20:50

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QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 20:56

Excellent ideas and suggestions so far - thanks!

Keep em coming

Ta!

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Scaryskribble · 29/10/2005 21:06

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buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 29/10/2005 21:09

oh yeah and definitely SKIP the photographer. get everyone to take photos and share them with you.
god yes, that was the BEST thing we did.

you could ask on here for wedding dresses, I am sure that there would be loads of people willing to lend you their dresses (I would)

aloha · 29/10/2005 21:09

What's your budget and what are your priorities?

My mum made the bridesmaid's dresses (for children).
My dress was made for me and was infinitely cheaper than a shop one, but second hand one come up all the time on Ebay and also via dress agencies.
Where do you live? Do you want the wedding to be held there?

SenoraPostrophe · 29/10/2005 21:10

forgot to say - my dad did the photos.

they are much better than many professional ones, and we didn't have to do too many group shots!

peckarollover · 29/10/2005 21:16

Can I just add that I got married in gretna green this year but none in a slash and dash fashion.

I put on lots of extra trimmings to make people feel like it was still a big and special day and we all stayed the weekend so that added to it too.

It was great and much cheaper than if I had stayed round home

kama · 29/10/2005 21:20

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lucykate · 29/10/2005 21:28

we got married on a tight budget, plus i never really wanted a lavish do. how much you spend is just not important. to save money this is what we did :

dress - bought in the sales

invitations - made them ourselves

flowers - made everything myself, didn't do real, they were silk. it was easier than i thought it was going to be

no cars hired - we walked to and from the church as it was nearby

bridesmaids/ushers etc - we told them to wear what they wanted (gave quite an eclectic look to the photo's!, but they're black & white and look great)

video - brother did it

photo's - now, this is a good tip, we used a guy who was the photographer for the local paper. he took the snaps, then gave us the rolls of film. we paid him £100. we had to sort out getting them developed, but it meant we had the negatives. a proper wedding photographer usually keeps the negatives so if you want any re-prints, you have to pay a premium and go through them. also, ask all your guests to get an extra set of their photo's done for you.

cake - mil made it

favours - made them ourselves, little bags of penny sweets. the kind you've not had since you were a kid.

we went to a wedding a couple of years ago and at the evening do, the asked the local fish & chip van to come by (party was in a marquee out back of a pub). it stayed for about an hour, they paid the bill, and all the guests loved it!

hth

Scaryskribble · 29/10/2005 21:34

I think the van idea is great, I know someone who had a burger van pull up in the garden for a birthday party. just paid the bill once everyone had. I suppose it depends on the venue and your tastes. I would maybe get the Wee Green Veggie Companies van .

teeavee · 29/10/2005 21:35

the van idea would be a laugh
but hog roast or roast lambs on a spit is hgood too....

kleggie · 29/10/2005 21:40

Ooh I love a good wedding me! I've been married for nearly six months and had the happiest, most enjoyable wedding I could have imagined. And it wasn't at all expensive.

Firstly, the biggest expense by far was food. You have to be careful where you have your reception if you want people to sit down and eat, because most people offering professional receptions will NOT let you take food onto the premises because of health and safety. We had a hogroast, with country vegetable soup beforehand and apple pie and custard for pudding! It was very reasonable, we bought a few bottles of wine for each table and put a bit of money behind the bar for everybody's first drink. When that ran out people were very happy to pay for their own.

Get lots of people involved! That's the fantastic thing about weddings, it's the coming together of two families and it's really nice to get people helping out. MIL made our invites, table names etc, my Mum made all of the table decorations. A friend did the flowers for cost.

We paid £40 for a three tier chocolate cake and decorated it ourselves with sugar roses and lots of fruit (strawberries, blueberries and raspberries). It looked great, very rustic which is what we wanted.

In terms of clothes, we got all of our bridesmaids dresses from department stores in the Christmas sales. Also, have a look at big bridal warehouses. They do some great end of season sales and have huge discounts on designer stuff. DH, best man and ushers hired their suits.

We had a ceilidh band for the evening. They were absolutely fantastic, everybody joined in-grannies dancing with 13yr old label freaks- they weren't expensive and were the highlight of the whole day.

In terms of photographs, you don't necessarily have to spend a fortune, shop around. Our photographers seemed so cheap compared to some of the quotes but we got 300 photos, all of the negatives and digital files and they took pictures all day till the final dance. All for about £300. Personally, I couldn't have done without a good photographer (even if it's just a reliable friend) because that's where the memories of the day are, and it's something you'll enjoy for years afterwards. Oh and have some reportage stuff done, group shots are all very well and good but it's great what you get on camera when people aren't looking!

Our best friends did a video for us. They just borrowed video cameras and put it all on a cdrom for us. It was so personal- they interviewed the parents, siblings and friends, got people to tell funny stories about us, interviewed both of us the night before and the morning after. It's a fantastic video and really encapsulates not just the day, but what the marriage meant as a whole. And it meant that our best friends were a huge part of the day.

We borrowed cars from DH's Grandma (maroon Rav4 for bridesmaids, black mercedes for Dad and I).

Keep us posted, ask any questions you want and remember to have the things you want not the things you think make it a wedding. It's such a great celebration, make sure it stands out as your celebration.

kleggie · 29/10/2005 21:41

Oh and our honeymoon was in Scotland, started in Edinburgh, travelled up the west coast, couple of days on Skye, through the highlands, down the east coast, back to Edinburgh for another couple of days. Great! And it didn't rain once!!!

kleggie · 29/10/2005 21:43

And we stayed in hostels the whole time!

Catilla · 29/10/2005 21:51

Hi, a few tips from my own experience and helping SILs too. Have a fantastic time!
Depends on what style you like - but the big wedding shops have loads of amazing "bridesmaids" dresses... I went to Jasmine just off Oxford St where the "wedding dresses" are £600+ and got a "bridesmaid" one for £200 which was just perfect for me - nothing to OTT. They have a big range of styles and a selection of colours... so I could have ivory or whatever the usual white/creamy colour is called. Bridesmaids dresses came from C&A (RIP!) v.v.cheap but actually the only ones we found which fitted 3 different shapes. Spent more on their shoes than their dresses!

Photographer - have seen lovely results from asking most photo-keen friend and doing it on digital... that way you get to look & choose without any printing, and can print as many copies as you like (Jessops, Photobox etc are all v cheap if you print lots). Digital is plenty good enough quality these days - and in fact most printing machines go via a digital image even when printing from film so there's really no difference. (And you can edit the dig pics!)

I went to a wedding once which served curry - line up and serve yourself type thing.

I had my civil ceremony in a Town Hall - not "just" a registry office, but not like the hotels etc where they want you to buy a whole package. Think the venue was only about £60 - less than the registrar's fees.

Would second kleggie's recommendation of a ceilidh for the evening. I've been to several weddings like this and it really is very inclusive, especially if your venue is quite small/single room - no-one feels like they need to "get away" from the music as can happen with a pop/jazz etc band. My Dad was really skeptical (nearly banned the idea :-S) but when we called from honeymoon he couldn't stop talking about how good it was.

Sorry it got rather long - hope helpful.

Scaryskribble · 29/10/2005 22:34

We really wanted a ceilidh band, plus everything was Celtic themed. We couldn't get one so we ended up with a very cheap DJ, he was great and played ceilidh music too.

Scaryskribble · 29/10/2005 22:35

MOnsoon is great for wedding, bridesmaid and flower girl dresses.

tessasmum · 29/10/2005 22:40

First of all congratulations!

We got married in June this year so some of the ideas may not work for a winter wedding.

We did it over 2 days so we could really take the time to enjoy ourselves.
First day was civil ceremony for just family and a few friends then we took them for a meal in a local Italian restaurant.
My dress wasn't traditional but a lovely green silk/embroidered summer dress from Country Casuals of all places (I was 17 weeks pregnant and had no idea how big I'd be so dress shopping was 'interesting'!). DD was gorgeous in a yellow dress from Mothercare!

Second day was a picnic for everyone else we had wanted to invite. Had it in a local English Hertitage garden and asked people to pay the entry fee rather than bring wedding gifts. We provided champagne and a gooey chocolate cake that we made ourselves and everyone brought their own picnic.

We did use a professional photographer as its usually DH or I who photograph family events! He was really reasonable and very good, he even offered to come and take pictures at the picnic for no extra cost. As someone else said, it can be photos that really make the memories and I wasn't prepared to trust my family and their dodgy camera skills to the task!!

We also blew a load of money on hiring a TVR Tuscan sports car for the w/e but as we were only going away for one night we reckoned we could justify it!!

I would say, work out how you would like to celebrate and go from there regardless of tradition.
Above all enjoy it.

Scaryskribble · 29/10/2005 22:42

Picnic idea is great, just out of interest did you have a wet weather alternative in place?

QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 22:51

thank you! some really great suggestions (feel like i have no imagination!) Thanks for offer of dress HC - might cat you bout that if i dont place wanted ad on here at a later stage. Size does matter here......

Some good ideas about photos AND food VANS, lol!

Please please keep them coming - im getting soooooooooooo excited about this!

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