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Original poster

Im REALLY going to get married! Woohoo!!!! BUT HELP PLEASE!

115 replies

QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 20:40

Yay!

Its not a new engagement - he asked me Christmas about 8 years ago now! We kept putting off setting a date because of buying a house, and then not being too old to have kids etc etc which suited us both.

Anyway - we wanted to do it before DD went to school so we had the same surname and now we are.

The tough bit is that we have got a REALLY tight budget (nowhere near what the alleged national "average" cost of a wedding is). But we still want it to be a bit special (not just a slash and dash in gretna green affair).

We want:

A civil ceremony.
I would like to have a "traditional" dress though along with the bridesmaids dresses (although these i am hoping family members can make for us if we buy material).
The reception - it would be nice if we could have at least a small number of people for a sit down meal followed by buffet reception after.
A proper honeymoon (the traditional 5 day one is fine by us).?

Does ANYONE have any tips, ideas or suggestions for cost saving? Plus any nice (cheapish) UK honeymoon destinations?

TIA!

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 29/10/2005 22:58

Christmas is my fave time of year so I am keen on a date between Christmas and New Year. My DP says people will be partied out or have other family committments so wont/cant come.

I tend to be of the view that if people will be difficult about coming they will be difficult at any time of year.

Would anyone here think twice about attending a xmas time wedding?

Sorry - ive only been to 1 wedding and 3 receptions in my entire life. (All family weddings were when i was young and kids werent ever invited and none of my friends are married!)

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eidsvold · 29/10/2005 23:44

we came to Aus to get married - that was our honeymoon. We had an early afternoon wedding with an afternoon tea. We bought the alcohol ourselves from a liquor discount barn, juast did finger food - bought a fair bit of it, my aunt the rest. We got married in my aunts garden - no need for cars. My dress was actually a bridesmaid's dress but in the cream - bought in a little bridal boutique near where I lived - think it cost me about 100 pounds.

Uncle was dj - he did music, my mum bought the cake ( her present to us) My brother did a video ( their present to us) My other brother and our friends did the photos and then just let us have copies ( or in my brother's case he just gave us the film which we got developed.) My aunt bought my bouquet as a present.

Favours - were rock candy for the kids, tiptree jam ( from where we lived) and some english tea for everyone.

We didn't have bridesmaids jsut my aunt and uncle as witnesses to sign the register.

We printed all our invites, thank yous, orders of service on the pc.

Can't think of anything else just yet - think that was it.

hunkerpumpkin · 30/10/2005 00:06

Congratulations! You must be so excited!

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 00:22

I am!

Will be shamelessly bumping this for days!

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hunkerpumpkin · 30/10/2005 00:25

As for cost-cutting - have a look at all the things that are suggested for the kind of day you really want.

Then work out what's important to you - really important. Write those at the top of the list, then work down to the things that you don't really care about.

For instance, for me, I wanted a video to remember the day - we had a lot of elderly relatives coming and I wanted to see them at our wedding in the future iyswim. But table favours weren't at all important to me, so everyone got a mini Mars bar each (which I'd got free from an event I'd been too in the confectionery industry ). If I'd not had those, I'd not have bothered.

Don't have "Oh, if only we'd had..." regrets - just have "Thank feck we didn't waste time, effort and money on that shower of unnecessary frivolity" gleefulness

dinny · 30/10/2005 00:28

Hello, QV ! And congrats! I had a tiny (church) wedding - 18 people. Had really low-key yummy sit-down lunch afterwards (in my uncle's hotel) for just 18. Kept it so simple and then had big party for everyone else when we got back to London. Just do what you want, no-one will mind (hopefully! ) Have a lovely day.

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 00:30

Thanks people!

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Happylocketsthesmiler · 30/10/2005 00:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 30/10/2005 01:23

xmas wedding might be a bummer if you havent got partic rich relatives. as they will be committed to buying kids prezzzies and you may end up with bum gifts - if that doesn't matter though - then go for it.

wedding favours - we never had any but its not much to buy a large piece of netting and some ribbon and tie up 6 sugared covered almonds in each. - i really cant believe people pay for that sh*t.

i would pick your dress out from a shop and see if you can put a deposit of a hundred quid - then i would ask if i could go in and pay a bit off when i could. get a reciept each time you pay - i dont think shops will have a prob with this. - or ebay has some nice dresses.

flowers. a small bunch of white lillies and some gypsy grass- not terribly expensive but highly effective - just ask the florist to tie them together with some green tape.

i would go to a local butty shop to see about catering. or ask if a family member wouldbe willing to do it for cost of food plus 100 squid.

then your major food expense would be the sit down meal.

buy in some bottles of champers for the toast when you can leading up to the date.

or get somthing cheaper like asti spumanti it all looks the same in a glass!

Tortington · 30/10/2005 01:26

i had a wedding cake made recently for my sil wedding as part of my gift as matron of honour. i looked up someone local rather than a shop - went round to her house and looked at her photos of stuff she had done.

the cake really was beautiful and cost just over 100 squid.

dont have too many bridesmaids if any just have a matron of honour and a best man if you can get away with it.

twinsetandpearls · 30/10/2005 01:34

One of the nicest weddings I have been to had a Jacob's Join for the reception. They hired the church hall and some friends decorated it in the morning and as a wedding present everyone bought food. It was lovely as everyone bought their speciality - being Cornwall there were a lot of pasties!!

This was the theme for the wedding, instead of buying a gift everyone donated a talent, lent an item to help make the day special.

sunchowder · 30/10/2005 03:24

Just wanted to say Congrats! Will have to think of some nice ideas for you. Naples, Sanibel, lot of great places in Florida to get married and have a nice holiday...you could always come and stay with us and we will marry you in the living room! XO, Sunny

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 08:42

Ha ha! Would love to go to Florida Sunny but i think my DP might struggle to get a visa.

Hadnt thought about other peoples xmas expense custy - thats a good point. Although if they have all year to plan/save maybe that would help? Maybe id be asking too much. Its difficult innit!

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 09:01

Oh - and will definitely be keeping everyone posted lockets

Is a jacobs join when everyone brings a dish/food twinset?

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 09:22

bump

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 10:08

.

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TinyGang · 30/10/2005 10:12

When you send out the invitations, put in a note asking the guests to take pictures of the day and to send you a copies too.

Congratulations btw!

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 10:44

Ta TG!

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TinyGang · 30/10/2005 10:54

I love a good wedding

The best ones I've been to haven't always been the most lavish. I think some have an extra happy and excited 'feel'. Those are definately the vibes I'm getting here. Hope it's fantastic!!

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 18:17

bump

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 18:55

.

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Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 19:07

Please keep posting more suggestions everyone!

thanks.

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katzguk · 30/10/2005 19:10

you welcome to borrow my dress but it needs to be dry cleaned, ita a size 14, very jane austen style, empire line, has a bottle green velvet bodice and a cream skirt. its a designer dress which should have cost £750 (8 years ago)but i got it in the sale

Original poster
QueenVictoria · 30/10/2005 20:38

More shameless bumping.

Thats really sweet of you katz. I will get back to you too at a later date if thats ok?

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helloween · 30/10/2005 20:50

We splashed out on what mattered to us - so lots of flowers and a big chocolate cake - oh, did I say US? I meant me .

If someone can make a dress you like, then that can be miles cheaper. My dress cost 40 quid to make in crepe satin but mum dressed it up with a georgette shawl which cost the same.

Some civil venues may cost less to hire on weekdays.

We got a 5 day city break in Italy for less than we'd have paid for a posh hotel in the UK - shop around.

If you have a civil venue with the reception there afterwards you may not need to hire a car - if you have a decent car - and someone to drive it!(or know someone with one) - go in that.

Having forked out for a photographer and been disappointed, I wouldn't have had a problem with appointing a guest (in advance) to take pictures. There's usually someone who would love to show off their skills and have a job to do.

Also - may sound tacky, but some family members gave us Euros for honeymoon spends!