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Original poster

why did you have your child christened?

79 replies

startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:33

there have been so many threads from people who want to have their child christened but know nothing about church protocol or have been refused as they don't attend.

I just wondered why, if you don't attend church and aren't a practising christian... why would you want to get your child christened?

don't you feel slightly hypocritical standing in a church and saying that you will bring your kid up to believe in god etc etc when you know you won't?

this isn't aimed at anyone particularly btw, just general nosiness

OP posts:
HerRoyalLovlinessMaloryTowers · 26/10/2005 16:37

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hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 16:37

I shall be flamed for this, but one of the reasons was 'cos H was so antiCatholic, it made me want to do it. And because it's a nice school. And yes, I haven't had dd2 baptised yet, though she was 6 last week.

And because it makes you honest .......

HerRoyalLovlinessMaloryTowers · 26/10/2005 16:37

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Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:38

it makes you honest? eh?

oh and good for you MT!

OP posts:
Nemo666 · 26/10/2005 16:39

We had our son christened because we are catholics although we now dont go to church due to him being a toddler and also dh working long hours but when he is out of his screaming at the top of his lungs phase we will go back.

However when we were getting adam christened it was amazing how many people at the parenting group said they were doing it for the party or because its just what their families do and openly admitted to not attending a mass at all. For that reason we asked for Adam to be fhristened during a mass rather than the standard one where they do about 5 families a month one sunday.

eleanorsmum · 26/10/2005 16:41

We had dd "named" a civil service of a christening (bit like a civil wedding instead of church) We did this because we wanted to show our dd to all the family, make promises in front of them, have responisble adults (god parents), and re-affirm our love as a couple now we had dd. It was a beautiful ceremony and DD got all the usual christening gifts which i wanted for her keep as a sort of inheritance. highly recommned it!

hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 16:41

And because I attend Mass enough times at school, and because I don't take Communion because I'm not in a state of Holy Grace, and because I do arrange the Church flowers ... and ... and ... there's no excuse for me.

Nbg · 26/10/2005 16:42

It was dh who wanted dd to be christened. He's Catholic and was sent to church and catholic school when he was younger. He hasn't practised since he left school and has no interest but it has had some sort of impact on his life and given him some belief to want to have dd baptised.

I don't have any belief's and I was quite honest about that when we went to visit the preist. He was quite open minded about it and tbh admired our honesty.
We had to go to classes before she was baptised which was basically an understanding about what baptism was about.

I didn't feel hypocritical at all because if dd wants to go to church when she is older then we will be more than happy to take her if thats something she wants to do.

Does that satisfy your nosiness?

FangAche · 26/10/2005 16:43

Starlover - I wonder the same thing. Very hypocritical IMHO! My children will be christened when they are old enough to decide to follow a faith. I don't and never will.

Great excsue for a party though.... isn't that one the biggest reasons?

Oh and in England it's also to get them into the best schools.

Call me cynical.....

sweetheart · 26/10/2005 16:43

I haven't had my dd done (she's 5) but I am currently pregnant and I will be getting both children done (hopefully) next year.

I don't go to church but I don't believe you have to go to church to be considered a christian. I think god should be with you where ever you are, not just in a church.

I want to get my children christened because I want to know that if anything ever happened to them, they would be allowed into heaven and be taken care of until I could join them.

Is that a good enough reason?

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:43

i did the same eleanorsmum! it was really lovely....
also would recommend it.

i really don't get why non-christians want christenings... especially when you can have a similar ceremony without the religion

OP posts:
FangAche · 26/10/2005 16:43

...oops forgot to add the 3rd biggest reason:

Pressure from the older generation.

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:44

i don't think getting christened guarantees you a place in heaven! lol

if a murderer and rapist was christened would he go to heaven?

doesn't god say you should worship him?

OP posts:
hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 16:47

Nbg, that could've been me posting that! Well done for your honesty. That sounds patronising, but it's just the same for me and H, in reverse.

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:48

fangache... ditto! if ds wants to be baptised when he is older then that's up to him!

OP posts:
hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 16:49

BTW, the only reason dd2 hasn't been baptised yet is that I can't bear the thought of all those people, all that salmon, and our local Father saying 'I'll lead, Carla, if you don't want hymns'.!

sweetheart · 26/10/2005 16:51

I also went to a C of E school and think it gave me good morals for life.

I'm not saying being christened guarentees you a place in heaven - just that I would want my children to be recognised by god/the church....

Nbg · 26/10/2005 16:52

Thanks carla

I don't see why you have to be a practising christian to have your child baptised. At the end of the day if you have a belief that is the important thing, isnt it?

hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 16:52

STBHL .... Is your child at a religious school? I found - and I'm not for once saying this is right - but it's easier for them to follow their faith with their peers. For instance, dd1's preparing for her First Holy Communion. DD2 won't be able to, unless we baptise her before next year.

That way, I think, and hope, she'll be able to choose whether or not she wants to follow her faith.

WitchHazellnut · 26/10/2005 16:53

despite my flippancy on the other thread which I appear to have killed - it would be religious reasons. Anyway, the church school near us isn't the best primary school in the catchment area

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:54

nbg yes, the belief is the important thing... but a lot of people don't even seem to have that! they just do it because it's the done thing... and of course the party as fangache pointed out! lol

carla... no ds is only 8.5 months! so plenty of time for us to figure schools out thankfully!

OP posts:
hunkerpumpkin · 26/10/2005 16:54

I got married in a church because I wanted to - wouldn't have felt "proper" doing it anywhere else. Went to Sunday school when I was younger (and with Brownies from 7 once a month), then church youth group till I was about 16.

Haven't been to church since, really, except to get married and attend various weddings and christenings. Working on Sundays put paid to it.

Really think that it's not a club you have to go to each week to prove you believe though. Some of the most revolting people I know are regular churchgoers (some of the nicest are too - but just goes to show that sitting through a sermon once a week doesn't make you a decent person, nor worthy of being allowed to christen your baby there).

For me, the church was part of my childhood, but hasn't been part of my adulthood in the same way. But that doesn't mean it's not somewhere I look to to celebrate the big events in my life - and if I was turned away from my local church for christening DS and DB on the basis that I don't attend every week, I think that's pretty poor show and rather unwelcoming.

DS has not been christened yet, but am probably going to have both children christened together next year.

CountessDracula · 26/10/2005 16:56

I didn't, for the same reason as I got married in a reg office!

spookyserenity · 26/10/2005 16:56

I've posted on this before so I'm quite happy being hypocritical

We had the Dkids christened for cultural and family reasons rather than religious reasons. I'm not happy with organised religion although I'm not an atheist as such, and Dh is an atheist but is nominally Greek Orthodox. It was Dh's wish to christen them. The GO church is a big part of being (greek) Cypriot and I think it would have hurt the IL's a great deal if we'd not done it (or done the humanist ceremony that I suggested!) Although they never said anything to us I know they were disappointed we got married at a registry office. It sounds like we were pressured, but honestly we weren't. I would have done something and it didn't put me out to do it at church.

As it happens there was no way that I could feel hypocritical about the ceremony as

a. the mother isn't involved at all, until the end where I have to 'beg' the GPs for my baby back....

b. it was all in greek so not a clue as to what was going on

c. I went to C of E schools so I've spent years mouthing along to things I don't believe in, having communion etc.

HTH!

HerRoyalLovlinessMaloryTowers · 26/10/2005 16:58

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