why did you have your child christened?

[startingtobehalloweenylover]

there have been so many threads from people who want to have their child christened but know nothing about church protocol or have been refused as they don't attend.

I just wondered why, if you don't attend church and aren't a practising christian... why would you want to get your child christened?

don't you feel slightly hypocritical standing in a church and saying that you will bring your kid up to believe in god etc etc when you know you won't?

this isn't aimed at anyone particularly btw, just general nosiness

Yes. Because if they are made to feel totally unwelcome, it perpetuates the snooty Christians myth.

It wouldn't be very Christian to discriminate would it?

but standing in church and blatantly lying!

sorry, but that's not on... and i'm not even a christian!

I don't show commitment at all - I never go to services, but I have my own beliefs which are down to my upbringing - does that mean i shouldn't be allowed to have my children christened?

Me thinks Christian tell lies too.

Like I said earlier, I know of some very, very regular churchgoers who are truly unpleasant.

i think that if you stand up in a church and promise to bring your child up tio know god etc etc when you KNOW that you won't... then you shouldn't be doing it

i am not saying that if you don't go to church you shouldn't... but that if you don't believe then you shouldn;t

what's the point?

We hadn't been to our local church when we asked to get dd christened but we were made very welcome and were encouraged (rather than made !) to attend church. They had accepted dd to be baptised by this point and don't think they would have refused if we hadn't then been to church. I think it is entirely reasonable to expect people to make some commtment to attending once they have applied for baptism but don't think its fair to turn people away right away because they haven't been attending for x number of weeks/months/years. I know we won't be going every week in the future as we are not always around and sometimes mght not get round to getting to the church for 9.30 but I'd lke to hope we will make some effort to attend.

I haven't had my child christened and it would be a cold day in HELL ha ha before I ever would. (didn't get married in church either FWIW).
BUT I do think IME that all too often Christians can be very quick to judge people for arranging a christening when they are not regular church goers. (and I do remember something in Jesus' teaching, about NOT judging, right? )
and I do think that there are valid cultural reasons for wanting your child to be welcomed into the Church of England, as our national faith. The need for ceremony, the wish to have godparents, the need for comfort, tradition, spirituality, and a feeling that they are Christians, notwithstanding that they don't attend church regularly.
and really who is any of us to judge who is a Christian and who is not?
(apart from me, you may take it as read that I am NOT.)
and I also find the attitude of some churches towards parents requesting a christening difficult to understand. I would have thought it amounted to a wonderful opportunity to welcome new members into their church and show true christian spirit. and if those parents chose not to attend church, I would have thought that would mean the church leadership should examine why that was; rather than assume that it was a problem with the parents, might it not be a problem with the church? just a thought.

and as for getting your child christened to attend a state funded faith school - well I cannot find it in my heart to criticise or judge anyone who chooses to do that. given that faith schools receive 100% funding from the state, then if they then seek to discriminate on the basis of faith - well that is the fault of a corrupt and wrongheaded system and one that, IMHO, needs reforming.

I wanted dd christened and the vicar refused.

The one in the next village said he would do it but only with permission from 'mine'

I havent had either of mine christened, nor was I married in church and do think some people are very hypocrital to get their children baptised when they are not christians and don't attend the church

hello Malory Towers - I thought I hadn't seen you for a while, wondered where you were.
the fact is that, yes, while the CofE is the established church in this country with all the powers and privileges that entails then, yes, they have a legal and a moral duty to marry and christen members of their parish.
other faiths that do not enjoy the CofE's status don't have that responsibility.

totally agree MT

exactly MT!

if you really don't believe in it all then why not have a lovely non-religious ceremony?

still agree with you though

that's different from a christening though isn't it MT?

Do you have to go to church to be a Christian though?

I used to go to church/sing in choir etc till I was about 16 and just drifted away. DH was never christened and had no religious upbringing whatsoever. When first son was born he was keen to have him christened as he felt that he had had a choice taken away from him (I know that might sound a bit back to front) because he had no knowledge of the church it was really difficult to go as an adult. I started going again when I had Tom, we had him christened, then moved and I started going to another church and getting involved, teaching at Sunday School, then joined the choir. Son number 2 was christened as well. Both boys started going to Sunday School and eventually joined the choir. When our older son was confirmed at 13, my husband found the service intensely moving and started going to church a couple of months later. He was then baptised and confirmed with our younger son, it was really moving. We have recently moved and don't now go every week. Our last vicar had very strong feelings about having babies christened and brought up in the Christian faith. He always used to argue that we don't give our children the choice of whether they go to school or not so why do so many people say they will not "force" religion on their children. Our sons may not now go every week but it is part of their being and they both say they want to marry in church and it will always be part of their life. We always welcome newcomers in our church, and assume that they may come back. they often do!

i think you do HP... but am willing to accept that some christians don't attend..

but as i have already said, my bugbear isn't with non-attending chistians

it's with people who do NOT believe, but still stand there and say they'll bring their child up to know and love god... when they KNOW that they won't

no Hunker you don't
and in the context of our history, the CofE and all its buildings (the pretty ones included) belong to everyone in this country.in fact most vicars I speak to (and for lors of reasons I talk to a LOT) feel this way too.

if you're not a church-going kind of Christian, why would you want the church involved in your children's lives? Why not do your own ceremony (water-based if desired ).

I don't get why people who don't go to church nevertheless think it's somehow the appropriate place for "welcoming" their child (into a community they don't even consider themselves part of).

Is it just lack of a suitable alternative?