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Original poster

why did you have your child christened?

79 replies

startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:33

there have been so many threads from people who want to have their child christened but know nothing about church protocol or have been refused as they don't attend.

I just wondered why, if you don't attend church and aren't a practising christian... why would you want to get your child christened?

don't you feel slightly hypocritical standing in a church and saying that you will bring your kid up to believe in god etc etc when you know you won't?

this isn't aimed at anyone particularly btw, just general nosiness

OP posts:
hunkerpumpkin · 26/10/2005 17:18

Why do you have to go to church to be a Christian? Do you get some kind of worshipping loyalty points?

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 26/10/2005 17:18

CFM - because it's something that has been happening (often in the same building) for hundreds and hundreds of years?

HerRoyalLovlinessMaloryTowers · 26/10/2005 17:19

This reply has been deleted

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Tortington · 26/10/2005 17:20

so they would go to heaven.

no piss ups here. just a few kwiksave cakies afterwards.

to be honest even a cheap christening costs something - theres the "donation" (ha)to the priest.

the outfit ( off oldham inside market)
and the cakies.

so even just for a cheapo doo it cost 50 - 80 squid which we could really really not afford at the time.

so with maturity and hindsight - i think i would buy a bottle of holy water from the back of church and ask the priest to come round - or if he wouldnt tell him am gonna do it anyway has he got a top ten tips to help me out?

CarolinaFullMoon · 26/10/2005 17:21

you don't HM. Love the idea of loyalty bonuses though - maybe an extra wafer on your tenth trip to communion?

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 26/10/2005 17:21

I agree, but belief is a personal matter and not really open for others to judge. IMHO.

hallowcarla · 26/10/2005 17:24

Buffy, that might be our national faith, but not necessarily the one that we all emcompass

iota · 26/10/2005 17:26

IMO it is disrespectful to the christian faith for a non-believer to use the church for a baptism or wedding.

CarolinaFullMoon · 26/10/2005 17:27

buffy, the bit that grates is that at a baptism the parents and godparents have to vow to bring the child up in the Church. It makes a bit of a mockery of the whole thing to promise that and not have any intention of following through, however heartwarming the tradition is.

hunkerpumpkin · 26/10/2005 17:29

But does that mean they actually have to be brought up going to church? I wasn't christened, but have seen the inside of the church far more times than many of my peers who were - lol!

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 17:30

exactly CFM

and it's all totally pointless seeing as you can have a really lovely non-religious ceremony!

OP posts:
nicksptw · 26/10/2005 17:45

On a related note, does anyone think that the church hijacks funerals ? I have been to more than one funeral/cremation presided over by the local vicar who never met the deceased/hymns sung etc and the person not even religious ! Do people think they will be damned if they don't have the god squad in attendance at theirfunerals ? There'll be no vicar at mine and I'm having a cardboard coffin !

Original poster
startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 17:54

lol i don;'t know because all the funerals i have been to have been for church attenders!

OP posts:
Chandra · 26/10/2005 18:01

I don't attend mass often at all any more, I don't believe in many things I had faith on in the past but... I still remember how having such faith helped me at certain difficult moments in my life, and even though I don't feel the same faith anymore I wanted DS to have the oportunity to easily access it should he decide to do so in the future. It was also a way to say thanks for all the good things life has given me, even when I don't have such intense religious beliefs anymore.

I believe in God, I'm not quite convinced about any church, so having my DS baptised was about introducing DS to God rather than to a religious institution, that's why I don't feel hypocritical about baptising him when I don't attend church regularly, after all, I have met so many "practicing" christians whose only christian practice is to sit on a church's bench once a week. So... I don't think I'm actually worse than them.

Chandra · 26/10/2005 18:04

P.S. I don't think is the church who hijacks the funerlas (or any other important moment in our life) is just our adherence to social traditions that do that. IMO lots of people who unwillingly organise religius weddings and funerals do it because they don't eant to break with social traditions rather than because they believe they will irritate the church.

fruitful · 26/10/2005 18:07

Haven't time to read all this thread. Apologies if this is irrelevant of the thread has gone somewhere else...

I'm a practising Christian and we go to church but we're not having the kids christened. We're having a dedication for ds in a few weeks time. Basically just hijacking a bit of our morning service to thank God for ds and ask everyone to pray for him and us. So we get the party and the grandparents get their "occasion". And the kids get godparents - so they've each got some special adults that they don't share with each other. But not christening. I'd hate to deprive them of the chance to decide to get baptised themselves, and do it when they're old enough to remember it.

nicksptw · 26/10/2005 18:10

I was being slightly tongue in cheek about people thinking they will be damned Chandra. Agree that people arrange these things because of 'tradition', but still irritated that the church monopolises these ceremonies - I am an atheist, but fully support those who wish to have religious ceremonies because of their faith. Sorry, want to write more but in the middle of trying to bath DS and the bloody boiler has gone on the blink so not hot water !

Chandra · 26/10/2005 18:12

Nick... , I don't doubt about your tongue and cheek comment .

twirlaround · 26/10/2005 18:26

Because I was christened...

I would like dd to be brought up a christian and she goes to a c of e school

then she can opt out later if she likes which is a lot easier than opting in

I don't go to church regularly & cannot be said to be a practising christian.

Why can't all little children be welcomed into the christian fold even if their parents do not believe?

It was also a good chance to have a huge party to celebrate a new life

Bethron · 26/10/2005 18:39

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tallulah · 26/10/2005 18:50

Following on from MT wrong-thread post, we used to go to church every Sunday, until having two kids at school on Saturdays kind of messed up the week. Each time there was a christening it was the same story. Family comes in, thinks they've booked the church for their big day (never been there before) and spends the whole service chatting (loudly), texting, and wandering about. Nobody joins in with the hymns because they don't know them, and look down their noses at the regular congregation. Maybe that was just our area but it was just about every time.

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 26/10/2005 18:52

Carolina - who says that they don't intend to follow it through? why are we so quick to judge? surely it would be better (and more scriptural) to forget about how grating it may or may not be, and to concentrateon welcoming the child and the parents and the godparents and offering whatever support is needed to meet these standards?
And I appreciate that we don't encompass cofe - and FWIW I think every other religion is in quite a different position with regard to making conditions for children to be welcomed into the church.

HerRoyalLovlinessMaloryTowers · 26/10/2005 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenkel · 26/10/2005 19:45

We had both our dd's christened, we dont go to church on a regular basis, we are christians and I believe in the christian way of life and christian beliefs/morals etc. I dont believe you need to go to church to be a christian. When I go to church its generally the same church, my parents got married there, I got married there, used to go to Sunday school there, my dad's funeral was there and my 2 dd's were christened there.

weesaidie · 26/10/2005 19:47

I did not even consider getting dd baptised or christened as I am an atheist and I could and would never stand up in a church and pledge anything to a god I do not believe in. I can't understand how anyone would.

As long as you believe which I think is the main issue here it is fine. I don't think you should have to go to church to consider yourself a part of a religion.

I did consider a naming ceremony but couldn't be bothered!