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Original poster

other sahm's who dont earn a bean - does your dh give you a monthly allowance?

109 replies

nailpolish · 25/10/2005 11:10

dh earns all the money in this house - i get the child benefit etc

he gave me a card for his account (we have seperate accounts) but now he wants to give me £300 to cover everything inc weekly shop

i think i can just about manage it, with bus fares, bits and bobs, and he says if i need extra (like shoes for the girls) i can just use his account card

i think the main reason he wants to do this is so he can manage bills etc better (hes a panicker about running out of money before bills are paid)

what does everyone else do please

OP posts:
stitch · 25/10/2005 11:33

control of me mostly, but also the finances
control of me fails miserably of course as i just click away, and then listen to him yelling

flamebat · 25/10/2005 11:34

I have control over all the money.

I do all the banking online, and know the codes and passwords for both his, mine and the joint account.

All our money goes into the accounts it needs to for the bills to come out, and there is pretty much sod all left over If we want new clothes etc for some reason, it is usually down to my discretion how much is spent.

Beetroot · 25/10/2005 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stitch · 25/10/2005 11:37

i find the birthday presents very very annoying. they always seem to come when i have no money, and dh is being particularly annoying.

Enid · 25/10/2005 11:37

when I was a penniless sahm dh paid about £800 per month into a joint account for food, bills and kids stuff.

stripey · 25/10/2005 11:37

we only have a joint account I don't have to account for what I spend but I don't think I spend excessively if I did it would be quite obvious and he might start to question? (hasn't happened so far)

Original poster
nailpolish · 25/10/2005 11:38

i mmight do that beetroot

dont thinkhe would be very happy about the £10 a week for fags though!

joking aside, £300 seems to be allthere is left after the bills are paid

i need to write everything down, its so difficult to account for every penny, isnt it?

OP posts:
FrightfullyPoshFloss · 25/10/2005 11:38

Oh thats such a shame NP. Are there any other pubs near you? His loss at the end of the day. Silly twit.

moondog · 25/10/2005 11:38

Oh that's a bummer about the job np.
I'm surprised. Having been a barmaid for years they always seem to have trouble finding people for the evenings, not the day.

Can't you do nursing agency work?
Doesn't that pay well without the day to day hassle.
Hang on...probably difficult with the dds right?

We pool all the money. Dh doesn't question what I spend (am surprisingly frugal!) but insists on all receipts to maintain records meticulousy.

Original poster
nailpolish · 25/10/2005 11:38

and dont even mention christmas

OP posts:
Original poster
nailpolish · 25/10/2005 11:40

exactly moondog, everyone else hated doing evenings and weekends! he just wanted to give jobs to his mates etc i think

do i go back to nursing? do i do i do i?
.

OP posts:
Weatherwax · 25/10/2005 12:04

Dh's wages go into a joint account which I transfer over to my savings or current account. The bills all get paid from my current account and I transfer money to DH's other account for him to have access to cash. He works and I do the budgeting. So on paper it looks like he is the one who gets an allowance!

Tortington · 25/10/2005 12:26

your 'avin a giraffe?

why dont you have the card and give him expenses for petrol and lunch?

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 25/10/2005 12:33

I would NOT like this one little bit.
it's our money and the idea, indeed the very word allowance makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat...
we agree a "budget" of what we think we will spend each month.
we review actual against forecast
we readjust
but access to money is equal and always has been

daisy1999 · 25/10/2005 12:35

joint account. I take what I need and I manage the money.

sorrel · 25/10/2005 12:44

stich I am pretty much in the same situation and it drives me mad.it makes me feel like a child because he has all the control. The money I am 'handed' is never enough - just about covers the food and there is never anything left over for anything i might want to buy. Somehow dh always seems to find enough for beer and a trip to maplins every few weeks to get 'stuff for the computer' I have been unable to work because of illness/ lack of part time jobs in this area and childcare commitments. dh reckons there is no point in having a joint account as i am ' not contributing'. makes me want to weep.I feel like f* Doris day in the 50's.

uwila · 25/10/2005 13:24

I'm amazed at the number of people on here who accept a cash allowance from their DH.

And how in the world you support a household on £300/month for food I have no idea. I spend twice that.

CarolinaFullMoon · 25/10/2005 13:25

funnily enough, it was the A-word that turned the previous thread on this subject nasty too...

LilacBump · 25/10/2005 13:30

DP earns his money and it goes into his account. he gets child benefit too.
i get child tax credit in my account.
i handle all the finances. DP doesn't use his debit card, i use it to take out cash. i pay all bills on internet banking (he doesn't even know the login for his account). i give him £20 every week to cover for petrol and money for work (lottery and tea). if he needs anything, he needs to clear it with me first as he doesn't know what bills are due to come out of anything and there's a risk of going overdrawn.

dot1 · 25/10/2005 13:30

I think this is really hard... I'm the breadwinner but dp and I don't have a joint account - although this thread's making me think about it! Funny thing is we've never had a joint account because historically I was sooooo bad with money... So, I pay mortgage, all bills, weekly food shopping and stuff like that. I put about £270 in dp's account and she gets Child Benefit for ds1 (I get it for ds2). She gets birthday presents and bits and bobs and of course needs money to get out and about each day.

I'm well aware that £270 is not a lot of money, but it's all we have and both of us are left penniless at the end of each month!

I don't think of it as an 'allowance' - just half of what's left (or not, as the case usually is) each month.

Ho hum...

sorrel · 25/10/2005 13:30

yes but what are we supposed to do?I can argue and point things out to dh til i am blue in the face, but he never does anything about it and as I have no income.....

Enid · 25/10/2005 13:31

300 a month for food is perfectly doable. (food only)

doormat · 25/10/2005 13:31

everything goes in to one account inc dh wages and i spend it as I see fit

Enid · 25/10/2005 13:31

its just a word (allowance). this is for women who dont work uwila remember.

OrribleOliveoil · 25/10/2005 13:36

we have a joint account, dh works f/t, I work p/t, but the money is always considered ours and not my bit and your bit iyswim.

All our bills are on dd going out the 1st each month, my salary covers all these.

Dh does all the supermarket shopping out of his money (he gets paid weekly).

But if I want shoes or whatever I get them, same for him. When I was on Mat leave, he pulled a few faces at times but not because I was spending per se, just that he was worreid about money.

I don't see the problem with the word allowance, that it what it is, an allowance for bills etc.

If I were you, I would make a list of expenses as someone else has said, and get it all on direct debit, best thing I ever did. Then you will know what is left.

xx

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