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Original poster

Horrifying bra shop debacle!!!!!!!!!

78 replies

colditz · 17/10/2005 20:57

Had to buy a new bra today, so went into my local bra shop with 2.5 yo ds in his pushchair.

In the changing room, ds pipes up as I take off my bra to try one on....

"Look! Mummy's big boobies! Boobies, mummy, two boobies! Looooooook!!! Big BOOOOOOOOBIEEEEEEESSSSS!"

While I was desperatly trying to distract him with rambling gasps of

"What colour is your t shirt darling? And your pushchair? Do you want some chocolate? Say chocolate!"

(... and thinking "Oh my God you little sod. You've never noticed them before, you've seen them before, why now for God's sake, why ^now!?"....)

OP posts:
CaptainCavemansMummy · 19/10/2005 22:42

Flamebat - BUMP - you gotta read this whole thread!

CaptainCavemansMummy · 19/10/2005 22:54

bump

Angeliz · 19/10/2005 22:54

My dd,(4), asked my mam the other day why her teeth look like vegetables. 'Well, not likle vegetables.......just grey?'

mamaoftwo · 19/10/2005 22:58

Just read the lot. chandra's birthday church candles tickled me the most!!!

The story that has sprung to mind right now is when I opened the door to the lady from Ocado delivering my shopping and DS1 said, is that man going to bring our shopping in?? To which I quickly replied, yes darling the lady is bringing our shopping in. DS1: has that man got all our shopping. Me: The lady has it for us this week, it was a man who brought it last week wasn't it. DS1 It is a man this week mummy. Me: say thank you to the kind lady who delivered our shopping GO AND WATCH CEEBEBIES!!

MiladyMarsLady · 19/10/2005 23:01

I have cried with laughter so much reading this thread. I'm gonna put it on my watch list and read it whenever I feel a bit low or need a laugh!

Thank you all so much.

Now must watch LOST on E4!

cazzybabs · 19/10/2005 23:14

Oh god - these are sooo funny! I have tears rolling down my face!

Yorkiegirl · 19/10/2005 23:23

Message withdrawn

scaryclary · 19/10/2005 23:24

pmsl at this thread. Marthamoo yours is my fave.
My best offering is ds1 asking me very loudly in the loo at M&S "What are those things on the wall for mummy? what are they for???" about the tampon dispenser.
I told him they were for ladies, not wantign to go into too much detail in frotn of the queue!

Mummyvicky · 20/10/2005 10:35

My fave is Prettycandles' one !!
Imagine telling her when shes 18 that she latched on to granny in a changing cubicle ! PMSL

When I was about 8 or in the 80s, I was sat in a cafe with my mum and brother, and the music playing was Madonnas like a virgin.
I piped up really loudly " Mummy whats a virgin?" and mum ignored me, so I asked again, and mum whispered " someone whos never slept with somebody else" Then Foghorn leghorn shouts " Mummy Im not a virgin Ive slept in a bed with loads of people" I still remember my mums face trying to finish her lunch with her dignity intact!!

eidsvold · 20/10/2005 11:01

today not quite so embarrassing as dd2 can't talk very well yet ( only 11 months) was in change room trying on a bra despairing at how huge the bra had looked on the hanger and that it fitted perfectly when I look down at dd2 in the buggy and she lets out this really loud chuckle and keeps giggling loudly whilst I try on three more bras....

We were right next to the atttendants area and she did look at me rather strangely when we came out.

flamebat · 20/10/2005 11:41

Yup - pretty candles's mum wins for me too.

Luckily DD isn't articulate enough to say much yet (I have it still to come ).

My godson did suddenly announce in the middle of my wedding rehersal "I just farted!!" We got to exchanging the vows in the actual ceremony, and I was on edge waiting for him to do it again (all was calm though )

flamebat · 20/10/2005 11:42

I just have a habit of giving DD a running commentary in the changing room (forgetting that curtains aren't sound proof), and I get very odd looks when I come out!

Hayls · 20/10/2005 11:47

When i was about 17 and my sister was 3 we were in a posh tearom with my mum and she insisted on going to the loo on her own. we asked again and again if she was sure and she kept saying yes and insisting we stay at the table. Five minutes later she walks out the toilet with her trousers round her knees shouting 'can you wipe my bum now please?' I was so embarrassed as I was in that delicate tenage era.

One Saturday I was in the local chemist buying lotions and potions and she told all the customers and staff that I had done a 'bum noise' ( I genuinely hadn't but the mroe I argued the more she insisted I had)

Willow2 · 20/10/2005 14:43

Just remembered a weekend visit with my father, after he and my mum had split up. We were all still primary age and dad had taken us to some posh and very grand hotel with his equally posh mum for the weekend. They were having gentile afternoon tea in the palm court whilst a pianist played. Meanwhile, for some reason, I had been asked to give my brother and sister a bath. The first they realised that something was not well was when I appeared, dragging my still rather wet haired brother behind me. "Dad, he's got nits" I yelled across the calm oasis.

bran · 20/10/2005 14:53

lol at Willow2 and the nits. Also a slight snigger at the "gentile" tea, is that ham sandwiches, or perhaps a mixture of meat and dairy products?

madmummyof2 · 20/10/2005 15:10

my ds and i have joke arguments. well it started with us calling each other naems from tv programmes...ie i would call him girls names like Velma etc. and he would call me freddie or spiderman.

well after spending a weekend with my younger brothers (4,7,10) we were playing the same game whilst in the Dr's surgery.

anyway all was fine until he said " your fat!"

ordinarily this would nto be a problem as i would just say no thats not a funny word is it. thats rude.

but just as he said it a rather plump elderly sat beside him.

ooh the look she gave him was killer!

flamebat · 20/10/2005 15:12

Oooh, I've remembered one!!! DD is obsessed with babies since I fell pregnant - she feels my bump and kisses it.

At the doctors last week she got really excited as a woman stood up and yelled "look mummy!!! Baby!!!!"...she was justa really big lady

sandyballs · 20/10/2005 15:15

These are funny.

I remember camping with my DDs (3) and managing to get them into a washing cubicle in the communal block for a quick scrub, DD shouted at the top of her voice "Don't wash my face with that, it's Daddy's BUM FLANNEL". The more I whispered and blushed and persisted, the louder she got

CountessDracula · 20/10/2005 15:16

We had rather an entertaining one when my niece was about 4. Her mother has always been very forthright about naming body parts with her...

We lived with them at the time. DH got out of the shower with a towel round him and she ran up and shouted "you've got a willy" at him. She repeated this about 5 times until he turned around and said "no, you've got a willy" back to her, she went all wide eyed and earnest and said "oh no, no I haven't, I've just got a little tiny clit"

(as dh said his mother was nearly 60 and she didn't even know that yet )

Willow2 · 20/10/2005 18:20

bran - my grandmother was your classic Jewish grandmother, so gentile was exactly what I meant!

pixel · 20/10/2005 20:05

A few months ago we were at the local outdoor paddling pool and ds was running around in the water. There was a man standing in the water keeping an eye on his toddler and just as ds ran past him he slipped. Well he managed to save himself but you can guess what he grabbed! The worse thing was he then just stood there hanging on to the front of the man's shorts until eventually I had to go over. I marched breezily up, took his other hand and led him off with a cheery "come along darling!". I didn't dare look at the man!

NightHowl · 21/10/2005 05:58

nothing to do with kids (but near enough to the first post). i was in a department store once. having been measured up for a bra by a cheerful, yet scary matronly type woman, i was in the cubicle (opposite the door back into the shop) trying some on. minutes later, she strides into the room, whips back my curtain and says "so how is it then love, does it fit ok?".

thanks. the entire shop saw my (braless) boobs and she even looked really hurt when i squealed and pulled back the curtain. i could just picture her tutting and mumbling "youve got nothing i havent seen before love". Maybe not, but now half the town has seen them aswell.

Bouj · 21/10/2005 06:27

Urgh, ok here goes mine. I was taking ds to the loo a couple of weeks ago, and being pregnant, I need to go just as often as he does. Also, due to pregnancy, things are, ahem, damper downstairs than usual. So I sit on the loo and ds says at the top of his lungs 'oh, mummy you did wees in your pants'. I couldn't work out which was more embarrasing, accepting it or attempting to explain the truth.... ah, glamorous motherhood.

Bouj · 21/10/2005 06:28

Oh, and ds can't say TR, he says F. Cue much amusement when he sees a big truck, and usually comments on the driver. 'Look at that f*cker, mummy'.

ThePrisoner · 21/10/2005 18:56

When my dd was at playgroup, they put on a little sing-song for the parents to watch. They were singing the song:

Five little ducks went swimming one day,
Over the hills and far away,
Mummy duck said ... (and is supposed to say "quack quack quack quack")

My adorable dd, at the top of her voice sang "Fck fck fck fck"

There wasn't a dry eye in the room ...

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