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Original poster

Can anyone help me write a reply to my neighbours snotty letter ?

111 replies

mrspink27 · 17/10/2005 15:12

hope someone can come up with a few witty sentences to reply to a note my neighbour posted through the door yesterday.

Basically, we are the first house on our street and have 5 lots of neighbours boundarys along the garden fence. Most of these are older folk.
Along one side of our garden we have a hedge, conifer and laurel, which we cut regularly every year, without fail, both sides and the top. Our house is slightly higher than our neighbours as we are on a bit of a slope and therefore the hedge is higher on our neighbours side than ours, but if we cut it down much lower then it wouldnt act as a screen for us and the busy road in front of the neighbours houses.

Sorry if tmi!

Anyway, the gardener chap came last friday afternoon and made a start on the hedge. Unfortunately he could only stay 3 hours and then it started raining so he had to stop anyway. He will return in 10 days when he has another gap in his schedule (he is an off duty fireman.)

Yesterday we had a note put through our door which reads
"Dear neighbour, when I heard and saw you were having your hedge trimmed yesterday I had high hopes of seeing some sky from kitchen window once again. I hope it was rain stopped play and not that it was forgotten that a hedge has 2 sides and becomes quite threatening from this side. I sincerely hope to hear from you in the future."

Really want to write a witty note back... but wit escapes me...

What should i write???!!!

OP posts:
Ericblack · 19/10/2005 23:00

I agree with Monkey. Our neighbours are really old and would be miserable if they had nothing to complain about. We are naturally polite but try to do irritating things like leave our bikes in the close (hallway - it's a flat) or forget to lock the back door just to give them something to keep them going. Or you could write a note saying your hedge cutter had to go to do some charity work for the earthquake victims in Kashmir but will be back as soon as he can.

megandmogwai · 20/10/2005 08:52

agreed about old people!

Get this - the smoky neighbour banged on our wall at 9.30 pm because my husband was using an electric screwdriver to remove three screws (previously holding up a shelf). Now that's not noisy. Within a fortnight, her son was using random "powertools" on the patio at 12.30am. Sounded like a chainsaw...wtf???

She has told me "I've heard your baby crying" (not during the night though). Can't believe I've so far resisted the opportunity to reply "kids, eh? I've heard your son shouting "f c* at 11pm!"

Nightynight · 20/10/2005 09:11

er, m&m, why are you resisting the temptation?
me, Id come out with it straight away, (in a very friendly voice).

tatt · 20/10/2005 09:24

there is legislation now that you can use against your neighbours if they have high hedges - and they can be a real pain. I was pretty annoyed with our elderly neighbour nagging us to cut down a hedge when we had more important things to sort out - like major repairs. We invited her in to see what was being done and she stopped moaning for a while.

Main thing is you need to live in peace with your neighbours so pop around, say you were disappointed to get the note as you have always cut the hedge before and that it was simply the rain that prevented it being finished. Mention you'd have told them that if they'd asked. Or write a note saying just that. They were possibly afraid you'd take it badly and thought a note would give you time to think before reacting.

kuoni · 20/10/2005 09:28

mrspink - glad you didn?t respond. Some people just worry a lot and maybe your neighbours are the type of people to have too much time on their hands and let their worries get the better of them.
I remember one day my gran phoned up my mum in floods of tears. Her milkman normally drops off her milk by about 6am in the morning. For the first time in years he altered his round route for some reason, maybe new clients, and hers didn?t arrive until about 8am. He must have known that she doesn?t work and that a later slot is no problem for her at all. However, he failed to tell her - by 6.10am she was pannicking he might have forgotten her, by 6.20am she was imagining that he had a milk float crash, by 6.30am she was ina state worrying that maybe she had forgotten to pay the last bill, maybe she was blacklisted, and phoned up his company to find out why her milk was late with no information. This got interpreted as a complaint when really she was worrying over absolutely nothing. When he finally arrived with her literally waiting on the doorstep he was really angry about her complaint, saying that he had delivered milk for 30 years blah blah and not once forgotten her etc etc She got all emotional and was unable to explain that she was just being sily and worrying about him more than the milk. I think she ended up getting my mum to call the company to explain for her (from the other side of the country) to "sort it out so she could get a decent?s night sleep" - she claims she was ill from the worry of it all.
Maybe your neighbours are like my gran - take little concerns and over think them into massive worries leading to silly phone calls or awkwardly written notes. I would give them the benefit of doubt and try not to let it turn into anything unpleasant.
We have lived next to difficult neighbours and your note sounds positively friendly in comparison to some of the unprovoked letters, phone calls and verbal abuse we received.
(sorry long post - typing got away with me )

TheDullWitch · 20/10/2005 10:00

But an 8ft hedge, 10 ft on their side! Have you been in their house and looked out of that kitchen window? I'd be incredibly depressed to have no light in my kitchen. They must have been really pleased then disappointed when your hedge man came but then didn't cut that side. I think their note was kindly and gentle.

Our neighbours have a huge and dominating tree which, once summer is over, casts our entire garden into shadow. We are trying to pluck up courage to ask them to cut it a little.

We should all try to see the world from the other side of the hedge.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 20/10/2005 12:28

OK, the update is... I drove past the neighbours house today and looked down the side of it into the back garden directly at the hedge presume this is the view roughly from the kitchen window. The garden is completely bathed in sunlight. Will look again at 3 o clock when i pick dd up from school. Tbh imho, the hedge really isnt all that bad. (I would far rather look at a hedge than a great big fence!) Anyway I know that is my opinion and it is subjective not from her point of view.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 20/10/2005 12:46

But TheDullWitch, mrspink27 cuts the hedge regularly every year, both sides, without fail! It's not like they let it get out of hand.

madmummyof2 · 20/10/2005 13:27

i'd say....as im not too much botheredwhether my neighbour likes me or not...

if you wanna see sky go lay down on the grass.
the gardener wil be back when i decide, have you not got a lue rinse you shoudl be sortig otratherthan wastin my timewith ptetic letters.

but im a bitch.

NightHowl · 21/10/2005 05:41

i know im probably the only one, but to me that letter does look really snotty. and you cut their side too? i think its a bit of a cheek to send something like that, after all, you're doing them a favour?

in my experience (from years of dealing with downright nasty people on the telephone) i soon learnt (after trying various things) that the more sickly sweet you are the better. the nastier, ruder and more unreasonable a person was with me on the phone, the calmer and nicer i got as the minutes ticked by. this wasnt 'crawling'...this was purely being over the top nice. (lets face it, if they think it hasnt peed you off then youre winning?) nine times out of ten they knew it wasnt genuine but still backed down..and they couldnt complain because i had done and said nothing wrong. in fact, i was so sweet in these circumstances that they couldnt wait to get me off the line. i tend to use this tactic a lot in life.

you could go round, explain, be really nice. if it was meant in jest then its all fine...if it was snotty you'll still be fine...after all..you havent been arsy about it and it just might make them feel a bit crappy!

(can you tell notes really annoy me? whats so wrong with face to face contact these days?)

elitemeetupCOD · 21/10/2005 11:35

mrs pink is not my ideal neighbout
horribel dog and an 8 foot hedge
fgs what RE you doing in your gardne?
copulating?

elitemeetupCOD · 21/10/2005 11:36

i dont see HOW you think htats a snotty letter anyway you mad old bints

god you lot acnat recognise wit if it slaps you in the face

Twiglett · 21/10/2005 11:55

That's not snotty its funny

Twiglett · 21/10/2005 11:56

oo 'ello Cod, sorry to be redundant .. didn't decipher your message first

elitemeetupCOD · 21/10/2005 11:56

mrs pink is barkingo

JoolsToo · 21/10/2005 11:56

oh Twiggy - you back home? feeling tickety-boo now?

Twiglett · 21/10/2005 11:58

'ey oop Jools .. nope I'm at my sister's house still

but I am so much better

I have been told that my skin is no longer grey .. which I'm sure is far more attractive

Twiglett · 21/10/2005 11:58

'ey oop Jools .. nope I'm at my sister's house still

but I am so much better

I have been told that my skin is no longer grey .. which I'm sure is far more attractive

JoolsToo · 21/10/2005 12:11

glad you're feeling better - you've been poorly for quite a while there girl

dd getting to know granny?

Nightynight · 21/10/2005 12:51

its snotty, cod - Ive just reread it.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 21/10/2005 19:55

Cod - he's not a horrible dog, and we are entitled to an 8ft hedge and not to have to tiptoe round our neighbours when we are doing them a favour! and fwiw no we dont copulate in the garden

checked about 5 times throughout the day and there is definitely no shadow cast on the back of her house by the hedge.

OP posts:
megandmogwai · 21/10/2005 20:49

Mrs Pink, I think you are now in more of a tizz about the hedge than your neighbour.

So the note had the desired effect, right?

Mojomummy · 21/10/2005 21:52

fwiw we have a MASSIVE scycamore tree planted 4 ft from our fence - however it must be 40ft high & about 20 ft wide. It's spent all summer LOOMING in my garden. I've asked the vets to trim in & even invited them into my house to see how ugly it is.

Perhaps you could ask to go into their house & see it from their point of view. They are obviously keen to be lighthearted & it would be a shame to lose good relations ?

PS I had a gazebo up all summer to shield the revolting tree.. I'm going to pluck up courage when the leaves are gone & ask them to give it a good trim...failing that I may have a go myself...

megandmogwai · 21/10/2005 22:00

Am I right in thinking you can cut down the bit of the tree that overhangs your property, providing you give the bits back to the neighbour?

Smoky neighbour has a revolting fuscia bush which sheds blossom all over our patio, staining the flags (new patio). We trim the bit that overhangs our garden (though as the fence is in the wrong place, it's technically on our land) but she makes a point of standing in the garden watching us (with her fag). She tries to hide behind her shed but her hairdo is a cross between a candy floss and a bischon frise dog, so she's not easily camoflaged

As far as I'm concerned, she can have the bits we chop off chucked straight back over her hedge if she doesn't like it. She cut the whole thing right back one year, giving us an alarming vista of enormous, mis-shapen mixed wash bloomers hanging on her line. However, we have now built an extension, so she's keen to grow the fuscia as much as possible, so she doesn't have to look at our house

Original poster
mrspink27 · 21/10/2005 22:03

m and m- not in a tizz, but didnt expect this to still be going on!!! was initially quite peeved, but just indifferent now, it'll get done when it gets done and thats that, if she doesnt like it, she'll have to write again!

OP posts:
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