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Original poster

Can anyone help me write a reply to my neighbours snotty letter ?

111 replies

mrspink27 · 17/10/2005 15:12

hope someone can come up with a few witty sentences to reply to a note my neighbour posted through the door yesterday.

Basically, we are the first house on our street and have 5 lots of neighbours boundarys along the garden fence. Most of these are older folk.
Along one side of our garden we have a hedge, conifer and laurel, which we cut regularly every year, without fail, both sides and the top. Our house is slightly higher than our neighbours as we are on a bit of a slope and therefore the hedge is higher on our neighbours side than ours, but if we cut it down much lower then it wouldnt act as a screen for us and the busy road in front of the neighbours houses.

Sorry if tmi!

Anyway, the gardener chap came last friday afternoon and made a start on the hedge. Unfortunately he could only stay 3 hours and then it started raining so he had to stop anyway. He will return in 10 days when he has another gap in his schedule (he is an off duty fireman.)

Yesterday we had a note put through our door which reads
"Dear neighbour, when I heard and saw you were having your hedge trimmed yesterday I had high hopes of seeing some sky from kitchen window once again. I hope it was rain stopped play and not that it was forgotten that a hedge has 2 sides and becomes quite threatening from this side. I sincerely hope to hear from you in the future."

Really want to write a witty note back... but wit escapes me...

What should i write???!!!

OP posts:
tallulah · 17/10/2005 21:27

If it wasn't for the fact that my mother's house isn't the second one in I'd be convinced she'd written that note- it's the sort of thing she does!

Original poster
mrspink27 · 17/10/2005 21:29

you are all so right about being polite and nice and good neighbourly and when it comes to i probably wouldnt have sent a note back, but it just makes me soooo cross!

Oh and b4 anyone says anything I know life is tooo short to stress about something so trivial in the scheme of things!

OP posts:
jacobsmummy · 17/10/2005 21:35

go round with the bunch of flowers as suggested earlier, if that fails, lob a huge dog turd over the hedge when they are out collecting their pension.

No idea why you would want to do this, but sod it! (hate bloody lemon-arse snify neighbours!)

Original poster
mrspink27 · 17/10/2005 21:38

pmsl!!!

OP posts:
jodee · 17/10/2005 23:38

Ooooh, I hate snotty notes like that, why can't they just bloomin' well come round and speak in person? We had a note recently, it was signed but no house address, we couldn't work out who it was - they were "politely" asking DH "from one neighbour to another" to make less noise when he loads his van in the "middle of the night" - they were woken up again at 11.00pm!!!

If they had bothered to knock on the door dh would have told them that he had nothing to load/unload in any case, he was just getting his maps out to plan the next days' journey. Grrr.

QueenVictoria · 17/10/2005 23:52

I would pop round and perhaps take a look at the hedge from their viewpoint too. They probably wrote the note because they didnt want to be too confrontational.

DONT get me started on noise in the night/early morning.

SoupDragon · 18/10/2005 08:21

I would seriously just ignore it. Don't pander to their pettiness and just finish cutting the hedge when it's convenient. FFS you have always cut their side when it's not actually your responsibility! It's not like you leave it to keep growing is it?

handlemecarefully · 18/10/2005 08:27

Well maybe it does mar the quality of their life, and spoils their enjoyment of their garden on their side of the fence.... Your hedge appears to cause them genuine distress....?

I agree that they handled this quite badly by writing (rather than coming to discuss), but agree with aloha that the tone of the letter is at least trying to be light hearted.

megandmogwai · 18/10/2005 08:30

Sorry, haven't read whole thread. I don't think it's such a snotty note. Agree it sounds like an attempt at humour. A visit would have been better, but perhaps the neighbour feels too awkward to do that?

I used to live underneath a very noisy girl. I tried to approach her but found it hard. I also resorted to writing a note.

I honestly think it's easy to overlook how much a seemingly simple issue may be upsetting a neighbour. I live in a semi-detached house. The neighbour has lived here for 35 years. It seems her husband put up a fence 30 years ago - and the people who lived here gave permission - which is well on our land. This has considerably reduced the size of our patio, such that we had to shelve plans for a conservatory because there wasn't enough width.

She absolutely refuses to allow us to replace the old fence and restore it to it's proper place (she says it would destroy her bushes - we had a look at them, they are rotten).

The real problem is actually her smoking - she stands in the corner of her garden, chain smoking (she's retired and her son is unemployed - summer is awful). This means I can't open any windows at the back of the house, including my patio doors.

The point of me using this example is because I've never tackled her about the smoking. Wouldn't know where to begin really. To her, it's obviously no problem - she probably has no idea I can't open my windows - but to me, it's enough to make me want to sell up and move.

It's clear you are a reasonable person, but I can appreciate how your neighbour must be feeling too.

handlemecarefully · 18/10/2005 08:39

Good post megandmogwai

Original poster
mrspink27 · 18/10/2005 18:53

megandmogwai, i completelty understand about problems with neighbours as I had a problem in my last house with 'problem' neighbours whose teenage children ran wild! the worst time was when we had to call the police because they were smashing up a scrap car with bricks and baseball bats etc on THEIR drive, next to our house, really frightening noise and they were all very drunk (not unusual) a very frail couple lived on the other side and they rang us terrified of the whole thing. so I DO understand.
queen victoria- the hedge really is not all that threatening it is about 10ft on their side and about 8ft on ours. It is unfortunate that their garden and house is at a lower height to ours. The lady in question obviously spends NO time in her garden as it is completely overgrown and its always a hassle to cut the hedge as you have to fight your way through the brambles and nettles etc to get to it.
Thanks everyone for putting your points of view on this subject

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 18/10/2005 18:59

Remember thay're old Mrs Pink. There's not much else to do but complain past 30

megandmogwai · 18/10/2005 21:52

agreed, monkey trousers. My smoky neighbour and her unemployed son (in his thirties) don't have much to do either! The lady literally paces the back garden about every half hour and chain smokes. The son gets drunk at weekends and they have blazing rows.

One evening I was feeding the baby in her bedroom at 11pm and I heard him shouting "the whole family are fing c". He also got a girl pregnant and his mum stood on the drive telling her "that's right, go on, f** off!". Oh yeah, and then there was the "powertools on the patio" at midnight one night this summer.

Not suggesting the original poster is anything like this, just moaning about problem neighbours!

Anyway, I'm gonna say it...this is a REALLY nice part of town. We have no idea how come this horror lives nextdoor, but I wish she'd go back where she belongs

Gomez · 18/10/2005 21:59

In a similar vein an old but only middle-aged neighbour of ours asked me to stop hanging my washing out as she couldn't enjoy her garden.

Or at least take it down at lunchtime. But em, I work. Yes, well thats the problem dear isn't it. Pi** Off.

I then became very dilligent about getting my washing out every morning from that point on.

FrightfullyPoshFloss · 18/10/2005 22:00

I think you should get a fence! Sounds much simpler!

Pruni · 18/10/2005 22:02

Message withdrawn

Nightynight · 18/10/2005 22:15

but the pink family clearly have the right to have a hedge, it is up to the neighbours to move if they dont like it.

Id just ignore the note unless I happened to see them by chance, then Id tell them my hedge-trimming plans.

Original poster
mrspink27 · 18/10/2005 22:18

Pruni - maybe 'snotty' was the wrong word, and if the hedge was such a big deal, why not come and talk about it? as i have already mentioned the garden is overrun with nettles and brambles. we do keep it under control, and have it cut, every year. whilst the height is worse on her side, it is a screen for us and the road. The hedge was there before she moved in 3 years ago and if we wanted we could let it get a heck of a lot taller, but we dont because we are trying to be good neighbours.
my dh and i have decided not to reply or go round but to have the hedge trimmed as normal on our side and when the chap is there one of us will ask if we can fight... i mean .... get to the hedge from her side so we can trim it as usual.

OP posts:
megandmogwai · 19/10/2005 16:20

nighty night!

"They can move if they don't like it"

I wonder if my neighbour would think the same if she knew I'm unable to open my windows?

Be nice to get along with one another in the local community, wouldn't it. Good job we mumsnetters don't live nextdoor to one another, it would be war!!!!!

Nightynight · 19/10/2005 19:59

M&M, I just meant that, within reason, people are entitled to do what they want in their own property. It is the old, you don't buy a view, thing. I think there are rules somewhere about the max height of hedge that you are allowed to have, ie not block all light from your neighbours house.
Cigarette smoke, that's a more, um ephemeral sort of thing. I guess it would come under harassment like noise etc. Its similar to barbeque smells, which can be quite irritating to the non-eating neighbours. if you really cannot bear to speak to your neighbour about it, why not have a quiet word with the council to see if it comes under any local bylaws?

Eaney · 19/10/2005 20:12

I'd say that I am awaiting Alan Mills to give the all clear to resume play.

undercovermum · 19/10/2005 20:35

You could always say that the man who was cutting the hedge slipped and cut his leg off below the knee. As soon as he is fitted with a prosthetic leg - he will come back but it might be a while. Silly I know, but just as sarky.

My diplomacy knows no bounds.

PeachyClairPumpkinPie · 19/10/2005 21:03

Bloody neighbours. We had one complain about the noise when we were watching a subtitles (Oo-er , no it was Amelie) movie with no sound coz ds1 was asleep next to us, shouting like mad he was. it wasn't anyone else either, coz they had a field on the other side.

Don't start a feud, take a bunch of (exceptionally cheap) flowers and take the moral high ground.

Can they really not see the sky from the kitchen?

Original poster
mrspink27 · 19/10/2005 22:04

I have no idea whether they can see the sky, dont know the layout of the house, and the hedge is a good 40ft away from the house and really not that tall....
like the one about the false leg!!!!

OP posts:
bettythebuilder · 19/10/2005 22:43

Tell 'em to hop it (like your gardener)