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Original poster

" The School gates......and all of the crap that surrounds it"

105 replies

tiredemma · 29/09/2005 16:51

I have often seen threads on here about mothers at the school gates and various tales of what goes on there. Have to admit i often thought that people were exagerating a little with some of their tales........until ds1 started reception two weeks ago.

Past few days i have noticed the same group of "fishwives" hanging out at the gates, obviously thinking that they are the supreme of reception mothers. Cackling, etc taking the piss out of a few people - including blatently laughing at the classroom assistant who has a squint. Today, I was waiting for ds to come out and one 'banshee' decided that we must all be interested in the following -

  • she hasnt had 'it' since may.
  • she has been having text sex with some bloke from a local shop.
  • bloke from local shop wants to meet up tonight for 'it'
  • she is going to go home, have a bath and 'de-fluff'

is this how its going to be for the next 6 years? am i really going to have to stand and listen to crap while waiting for my son.

really, i though the school gates thing was just a bit of a joke men come up with about mothers chatting at the gates. is it really about a bunch of heckling old women seeing who can be the loudest???

OP posts:
Octobernow · 02/10/2005 16:27

Just seen that thread, moozo. Will have a think about it. I'm further towards the centre than Weston, but still not anywhere Georgian!

SleepyJess · 02/10/2005 16:29

And THEN there are the Bad Language Cliques.. I hate hearing revolting old/young hags that pass as 'parents' mouthing off with F words and worse and have been known to say something about it to them then and there although this is not necessarily advisable because I sometimes get myself into hot water by opening my mouth without first engaging my brain. I see red.. and out comes exactly what I am thinking!

I engaged my brain the other day though. I was collecting DD from After School club and standing in a queue and in front of me were some parents that it is my misfortune to be aquainted with because their children are in DD's class. They were talking to each other and a younger child of one of them had run off towards the car park. Minger A yells 'Come back you fucking little git!' and Minger B sympathises ..'Oh my Kyle's such a little shit.. he does that an' all.. fucked off in Audi carpark and I had to dump me shopping and chase the little fucker!'

So there I stook with a poker face trying not to register my shock or (I really wasn't up to a run-in with these 'parents' as not only was a having a stressful day, I unfortunately have to see them every day). Eventually, Minger A runs after her offspring (he was IN the road by this point but that is another issue I suppose! ) and as she catches him up he yells, in his cute little 3 year old voice 'FUCK OFF MUM!'

My poker-face slipped and I gasped and the other mothers looked at me and then at each other and Minger B says to Minger C 'My Kyle does that an' all! And my Shane's been like it since he was that age and now he's bein' tested for T-Retts...!'

(I have by now resumed by poker face by the urge to tell them that that they are confusing a genuine medical condition with a carnivorous dinosaur is almost as strong as the urge to shout 'YOUR CHILD DOES NOT HAVE TOURETTES, HE SWEARS BECAUSE YOU DO - CONSTANTLY!'

However I said neither and listened to the rather amusing conversation which ensued whereby Minger B proceeds to explain the symptoms of 'T-Retts' to Mingers A and C which luckily amused me enough to quell the urge to open my mouth until the doors to After School Club opened and we went in to collect our kids..

I do hate the whole school gate thing and I have been living it for 9 years now with various children at various schools. And it's not just on council estates that you get the Bad Language Clique either..

devilishboozo · 02/10/2005 16:35

Lol octpbernow, we live in the most un Georgian house imaginable. A nice 1980s ex LA one with black window frames that we pay £700 a months for. mmm mmmmmmm

happymerryberries · 02/10/2005 16:50

Sleepyjess. I do swear on occasion, but never in front of my kids and I am horrified when people do this. And then they are surprised when the kids is foul mouthed.

Things kids have said to teachers

Is a link that another mumsnetter posted to the times ed website, showing what this sort of behaviour in the parents can lead to in the kids

PS it is quite graphic and not for the easily shocked

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:21

Our school gates aren't too bad, but DEFINITE cliques. The biggest one is the 'I'm so trendy, slim and entertaining' - the funny thing is, they all dress the same - they all wear beige trousers, tight coloured top, and have 3 wheeler buggies! So I haven't really worked out who's who yet, but they all also have very loud voices and laughs!

devilishboozo · 02/10/2005 17:25

I'd be in the "haven't applied make up, or even brushed teeth, so don't look at me" clique

cod · 02/10/2005 17:25

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cod · 02/10/2005 17:26

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tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:34

cod you're right. But they are mean! I have tried to talk to them, but get the hello, looking over your shoulder to find the next person to talk to. Actually, I've found a really nice bunch of mums who I get on really well with, so not jealous! Just amused.

cod · 02/10/2005 17:35

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:36

Anyway cod, at least I've seen the elephants on the webcam...

cod · 02/10/2005 17:38

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:39

really?

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:39

Maybe it's just an elephantine clique.

cod · 02/10/2005 17:41

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:41

But do they spray you with water?

cod · 02/10/2005 17:43

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 02/10/2005 17:43

Still, bet you're dying to join in though.

Nightynight · 02/10/2005 17:44

cod its definitely a clique in our village. they run the mairie.

Us outsiders are like lepers. you can only say bonjour to a fellow leper. if you say bonjour to a clique member, you get frozen out.

the school gates is nothing compared with what the clique can get up to when they really want to get their way over something.

should form my own clique but Im not here enough.

cod · 02/10/2005 17:45

Message withdrawn

Nightynight · 02/10/2005 17:45

lol in france they just dont talk to you if they dont like you.

cod · 02/10/2005 17:47

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Octobernow · 02/10/2005 17:48

I'm not jealous either. I do a lot of PTA stuff which means I move freely amongst all the cliques/groups and talk to anyone. But the ones who sneer at others' clothes are invariably the ones who don't get involved in any of the fundraising or social events, ime. They are quick to go and see the Head with complaints and are very good at ripping apart other people's efforts, but they'd never dream of joining in. It sounds a cliche but it's true - the widow's mite effect is still very much in evidence.

cod · 02/10/2005 17:48

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Nightynight · 02/10/2005 17:50

ha - I know some fairly insulting french courtesy of dx, but I tend to go for some colloquial english that they wont understand - "naff off you stupid tossers" or something like that. Or I repeat loudly J'ai dit Bonjour until they have to reply