Children say the wierdest/funniest things

[Poppett]

We all know that children say the funniest things my eldest has come out with some corkers. But quite recently she has been going into great detail about a house she used to live at and a pet rabbit she used to have - we have only lived at this house and we've never had a pet rabbit. Also not long after my grandad died when I would put her to bed she would ask me who was the man standing behind me, I never dismissed what she said as silly because you never really know do you?. Anyone else got any really funny or wierd things that thier children have said/done?

LOL Leander and Queenie

Rotfl leander and queenie - and trying hard not to wee myself lol!

Aarrghh! Both dds got their keyboards at 6.20am today. Had Jingle Bells on full volume and full tempo in stereo!!! Can only be topped by BIL being woken with his ds pulling back his eyelid and shining in a lit torch, saying "Morning Daddy!".

This isn't exactly funny but almost.I was at a friend's house on september 11th and when the Queen came on TV to offer her sympathies for the victims.."I am so very sorry....etc" my friend's son was very shocked. He said "was the Queen driving the plane then?"

At GP's this morning. They have a separate "kids" room to wait in complete with toys, books and very large toy gorilla. Small boy runs in to room, takes one look at gorilla and shouts "Daddy!"

Buttercup

I don't know, Buttercup, I'm afraid I laughed when I read that.

This is from a magazine I was reading in a waiting room today - I thought it was lovely!

Mother was late picking up her 5-yr-old from school because she had been in a minor accident. She was explaining it all to her daughter, including how the 2 drivers had had to exchange names and addresses, and her daughter asked, with bright interest, "Oh! What are you called now, then, Mummy?"

I was in a communal changing room in a store once (don't you just hate those places) when a woman took off her top - with no bra underneath. A small boy who was with his mother shouted rather loudly -"Oh look Mummy - Titties!". Anyone got a large hole!

we were flying back from Los Angeles with my then 5 yr old daughter and took her to see the rather gorgeous, George Clooney type pilot. He asked my daughter if she wanted to ask him any questions...

She replied 'yes - have you got a big willy? ' Talk about sobering mummy up immediately

LOL mabs that is brilliant,what did the pilot say?

The pilot said ' Did mummy ask you to say that? ' I nearly died on the spot.

My Dad has just told me he's received a £60 cheque from readers' digest for this little gem from my brother:

"Daddy we saw a flock of deer!"
"I think you mean 'herd'"
"No we saw them!"

• maybe you lot should be saving these up

PS my favourite quote from my other brother - dd too young as yet - is:

"did you know the shop on the corner is allowed to sell off food? - it says it has an off-license"

Message withdrawn

This is not something a child said but actually my mum said it and it made me laugh.
We are in the process of digging up our garden and leveling it off so we are left with a big mound of soil, Mum was asking Dh what we were going to do with the left over soil when he said he didnt know she said " Why dont you dig a hole and bury it" I dont know, mums are supposed to know everything aren't they!!!

Yesterday morning dd (2.5yo) came in the shower with me, then went running round the house shouting "Mummy's got red nimples and I've got little nimples".

I have a 2 1/2 year old neice living in Yorkshire. Her parents have been teaching her new words, but have struggled with the word 'fork', which she insists on pronouncing 'f*k'. This is ok until they take her out to lunch with to a rather nice restauraunt. She notices she hasn't any cutlery so shouts 'I want a f*k'n'knife' as her parents slip under the table with embarrassment.

I was visiting my sister and her dd who is 4 with my dd who is 21 months. My dd attempted to climb onto a wooden rocking horse in the living room and my niece came running over saying "oh, you can't sit on that, it's Jessie's", not knowing a Jessie I asked "Who is Jessie?" and my neice replied in a quiet little voice "I'm Jessie, sometimes" - someone's got an imaginary friend, I think!.

The other day in Boots, my DS1, aged 3 1/2 got his eye on the sanitary towels. He started to point to them and shouted "Mummy are you getting these to put in your pants" I tried to ignore him and he shouted again, louder "You is needing these to put in your pants, I get them for you". The next day we were in Boots again and DS1 was standing on the buggyboard, I hadn't noticed he was fiddling with his trousers, the next thing I know he is announcing the woman behind the till "My willy's getting bigger". I don't think I can show my face in Boots again.

Fab Carogee, LOL!

this is a bit like AnnieMo's...round at a neighbour's, my ds (3), because we hadn't bothered to put his shoes on, was being held by me (unusually-ish as he's v heavy), sort of sitting astride my tummy; in a lull in the chat he grabs my assets and cried 'Boobies, Mummy!' I think daddee may have taught him this. My neighbour was very amused. Still, as long as he doesn't start doing it to strangers...

Dd (2) climbed into our bed this morning, felt dh's unshaven face, and said "Why is your chin all crusty Daddy?".