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Original poster

If you saw a child screaming.....

89 replies

Jimjams · 05/09/2005 15:55

straining, and hitting themself on the head (age 6) and a man dragging them off in another direction would you think they were being abducted?

How about if it was the same scenario with a woman?

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Original poster
Jimjams · 05/09/2005 21:52

NQC you've just reminded me - I think dh gets it from all of them because when he picks ds2 up from nursery he throws a strop and won't get in the car- when dh pickes him up he shouts "help me Help me" PMSL. I guess that should look worse really? (but somehow its ok in a 3 year old?)

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starlover · 05/09/2005 21:59

lol! your poor dh!
i would definitely be far more worried seeing a small child shouting help me as he was forced into a car!!!!

swiperfox · 05/09/2005 22:03

I shouted a a lad once because he had a girl round the waist trying to drag her away from a metal bar thing - she was screaming and crying "Leave me alone you're hurting me" So I told to him to get off her NOW - he stopped and said "It's my Sister, my Mum wants her in for tea" lol

Feeling a bit stupid I then said "I don't care, when someone is crying and telling you to stop, you stop"

Felt like a right idiot!!

NotQuiteCockney · 05/09/2005 22:04

Eh, for me it would depend on the car and the bloke and so on. (e.g. if there was a carseat, I wouldn't really worry) Anyway, if he's outside DS2's nursery, presumably there are loads of people there who know him.

The whole "people thinking you're an abductor/pedophile" thing has to really really suck for men.

starlover · 05/09/2005 22:05

oh yes, agree in that situation NQC!

but i mean just on the street or whatever that would alarm me more than jimjams' original situation!

Libb · 05/09/2005 22:12

He is a darling. He has beautiful big brown eyes, my perosnal opinion tells me that all the best DSs do.

I dareseay you would get more trouble from people who are not parents, they (like the majority of us Before Children) will have the most opinions on what a child should be doing. I would rather someone just came up to me and questioned me than form a view from a snippet of my life.

I would like to think that I would try to keep an open mind but I think that you know the nuances when you are a parent anyway.

nooka · 05/09/2005 22:28

My nephew walks into people's houses if the door is open and sits down and watches their TV!

I think that with an older child it is easier to see that their behaviour is out of the norm. But people will look, simply because they will wonder "what's going on there?". It's difficult not to - I noticed a little girl at the bus stop today, who I am sure was albino, and just kept looking to be sure. I don't think her mother could see me (hope not) but we all do look at things that catch our interest. I think it is harder for guy's because some people seem to think that men shouldn't be allowed out with children at all. It only takes a couple of comments to make someone paranoid. But I doubt that anyone really thinks he's abducting your ds - I'd be worried if they did, becasue obviously they haven't done anything about it. Still it's tough to feel at the centre of attention, when you really would rather be in private for some of those battles.

Christie · 05/09/2005 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eidsvold · 05/09/2005 22:39

For what it's worth - if I saw your dh and ds in this situation I would probably think sn as d21 is hitting himself... if he was hitting dh or shouting stop or something like that I might stop for a second look and try and work out if something is not right ie abduction. Would probably do the same if it was a woman - think no dofferent man or woman wise in that case.

by the way - he is gorgeous.....

MumOnaMission · 05/09/2005 23:54

Hi. Yes the hitting himself in the head would make me think SN but without the head banging I would probably think tantrum but try to make sure (by listening to what they were shouting etc). Jimjams - how would you feel if someone stopped you and politely explained they were a little concerned and just wanted to make sure he was alright?

Original poster
Jimjams · 06/09/2005 08:42

MumonaMission I really don't think someone could stop and ask- all the attention is on dealing with ds1, it's just not possible to talk to someone else while its going on- that's partly why I don't care if people are looking- I don't really notice (I only notice if there are 2 of us out and dh is doing the dealing iyswim)

I will ask about restraint training at school Christie- I knew it was called something different these days As he's getting bigger I'm really trying to find verbal ways of dealing with stuff as I'm aware its not going to be long before I can't physically move him- already at the end of a day of lifting etc I'm physically shattered. A typical problem is that he'll get in a fixed patter of flitting backward and forwards between 2 objects- sometimes countdowns and last times will work and I always try those first, but if not then you have to physically move him on. There are always going to be times when something physical is unavoidable unfortunately. God knows what we'll do when he's bigger. My friend had some training when her dd's were tiny- from SS i think - I'll ask her.

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MumOnaMission · 06/09/2005 22:23

I see. I just wondered whether you would think "interfering sod" or "well at least if was really someone in trouble they would do something about it"

MumOnaMission · 08/09/2005 22:38

The almighty thread killer strikes again!!

Original poster
Jimjams · 11/09/2005 10:03

god sorry MOAM- missed this! Um I probably wouldn't think anything as I wouldn't be able to talk to them. TBH I can't think when ds1 kicks off and talking is too much. Afterwards I would probably just think it was embarrassing. If someone stopped ds1 when he was legging it (with me huffing and puffin in slow pursuit) then I would want to kiss them.

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