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Original poster

spitting mad/sad/god knows

67 replies

ggglimpopo · 04/09/2005 14:07

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KBear · 04/09/2005 14:10

Are you more annoyed that she lied or that she is with him? Is he THAT bad? Easier said than done I know but don't fly off the handle, when she gets back have the "but what if there was an emergency how could I have got in touch with you" chat, make her feel guilty for lying rather than making her all defensive because she's not doing what you want her to do. It's reverse pyscology (can't spell it) I suppose but with works!

deep breaths...

giraffeski · 04/09/2005 14:10

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KBear · 04/09/2005 14:11

but it works not with works!

giraffeski · 04/09/2005 14:11

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KBear · 04/09/2005 14:12

It's easy when it's not your child though isn't it!!! (sorry, two many exclamation marks? I know they're clamping down on them somewhere on here.)

QueenOfQuotes · 04/09/2005 14:13

I haven't got teenagers (thankgoodness) yet, and my 2 are boys so I supposed things will be slightly different for me.

But I agree with the others, wait until she gets back and then make an issue of the fact you didn't know where she was, rather than who she was with.

And be there to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong with said boy

hunkermunker · 04/09/2005 14:23

GGG - you don't look anywhere near old enough to have a 16-year-old. And your hair! Have you had it done? Really suits you. And...haven't you lost weight? Gorgeous!

I haven't got teenagers...but I can do cyber compliments to try to make you feel a bit better. Hope it worked!

SenoraPostrophe · 04/09/2005 14:28

I did this kind of thing as a teenager and agree with KBear wholeheartedly about the best approach to take.

Not a lot you can do about the relationship with the louty boy without alienating her. If it was me, I think I'd invite him round for tea in the hope of finding some good in him - I say think as dd is not old enough yet...

Nightynight · 04/09/2005 14:48

hello ggg
you must be pretty worried.
I have to say...I did exactly the same to my parents, but when I was about 23 and still living at home. They never said anything, I am sure that they guessed the truth, but preferred to leave an acceptable lie between us.

However, 16 is a lot younger. I missed your first thread about him. What is the risk that over time, he might be introduce her to drugs, or get her drunk, or drink-drive with her in the car or other dangerous things like that?

Can you scotch this sort of thing in the future (and show him up) by inviting him home?

PeachyClair · 04/09/2005 15:23

I would do as the last post said and invite him home. Make a big thing of how nice he is when and if you get to meet him too (regardless of what you think!). Either she'll rebel and ditch him coz she thinks you like him, or she'll be grateful for your 'acceptance' and be more open in the future.

Must be hard, not looking forward to those years!

magnolia1 · 04/09/2005 15:45

Was there myself 15 years ago Met dh at 16 and my parents hated him. Tried everything to keep us apart and we are still together

giraffeski · 04/09/2005 15:47

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KBear · 04/09/2005 17:58

so what did you do/say?

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 04/09/2005 20:24

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Original poster
ggglimpopo · 04/09/2005 20:36

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Janh · 04/09/2005 20:41

FWIW I think lying, stealing, rolling eyes and pulling other faces, and swearing, are fairly standard at this age, gggl (and you missed out drinking and smoking which are also highly regarded ).

I know both my DDs did all those things to a degree (they don't look on it as "stealing" though). At 16 DD1 didn't have a mobile so I had no idea where she was half the time, but she cheerfully admits now to having lied about many things.

No idea what to say (apart from the previous para) to help you feel better about this weekend but hang on to the facts that a) she can be so lovely, and b) she will grow out of it.

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 04/09/2005 20:41

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Janh · 04/09/2005 20:42

Full house then

Nightynight · 04/09/2005 20:43

ggg
poor you, and what a horrid day all in all.
I have no experience of teenagers, but it does strike me that she is awfully young for the responsibility that she is giving herself, ie weekends away with boyfriend, travelling by herself.

My mother used to steal stuff from her mother's purse at about the same age, in the 1940s, and she grew out of it.

What would happen if you upped her pocket money, and told her that you expected her to live up to it by behaving like an adult?
Is she starting the bac this year, and might that give her a new direction?

Janh · 04/09/2005 20:43

btw, lady, you owe me an email!

giraffeski · 04/09/2005 20:44

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Original poster
ggglimpopo · 04/09/2005 20:45

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giraffeski · 04/09/2005 20:46

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WestCountryLass · 04/09/2005 21:26

I haven't got teenagers but I think my parents approach was spot on as they pretty much condoned anything as being normal teenager behaviour and I had nothing to rebel against. My Mum also gave me condoms when I started dating my first boyfriend and she too welcomed him into the fold with open arms, she now says she would rather we were at home and she could keep an eye on us.

Original poster
ggglimpopo · 05/09/2005 07:58

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