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Original poster

Police nabbed us for only checking baby alarm every 5 mins

104 replies

nuparents2 · 02/09/2005 14:52

We went away for a couple of nights to a B&B on the south coast. We booked at a place which had it's own bar (as we always do) so that we can sit in the bar with a drink and the baby alarm. Unfortunately being so small they didn't offer a babylistening service (where you leave the rooms phone off the hook and staff listen in every 10 mins or so).
We found that the bar was closed but fortunately there were public bars in two hotels either side a couple of houses away.

We checked that the baby monitor worked at one of them before we put Jack to bed (13months)and once he'd settled down (he's a good sleeper) we went to the bar.

The monitor worked perfectly but unfortunately the clientelle of the bar started to get a bit "rough" so we went to the other bar.

The baby monitor was noisy here so we took it in turns every 5 minutes to walk up the road until the sound was crystal clear to check on him.

After half an hour 2 policement came up to us saying that someone had complained about us.
He said that we should be there and that we would have to have an interview with our local social services about the way we are looking after our son.

We were both gobsmacked very upset and although we would never have set out to be in this position we were mortified to think that we could get in such trouble with the authorities.

Be aware - never go outside of the best range of your monitor - it does not matter to them how often you check on your baby - you cannot be out of range even for a moment.

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 02/09/2005 15:24

I have thought long and hard before posting a reply because I didn't want to be too hard on you. I'm still not sure I ought to press post, as I'm sure this will come across harder than I mean it to, but here goes anyway.

I'm sorry that this has backfired on you, and I'm sorry that you now need to have SS on your case. But I do think that you were wrong to leave your baby in the hotel to go to another bar a couple of houses away. It's not just that it doesn't matter to the police that you check your baby frequently - it matters to the baby as well. It isn't a case of the authorities not wanting you to be out of range of a monitor, it's a case of you not being close enough physically to make sure that your baby is safe.

I'm sure that under normal circumstances you wouldn't have left your baby on his own with no babysitter to go out for the evening, but that's what you did, whether you planned to or not, and I can understand why the police have felt the need to ask SS to become involved. It won't matter to them whether you were three doors or half a mile away; they have to take all of these complaints seriously, because one day (and I'm not saying this was the case in your case) a child's life may depend on them doing so.

I would expect the SS visit to be a formality though, and as long as they can't see anything else amiss it probably won't be a long-term thing.

saadia · 02/09/2005 15:29

I would have to echo WWB's sentiments exactly. I always think it's very dangerous to leave a baby/child alone in a building. Not wanting to sound alarmist but what if something had happened to you while out and no-one knew that the baby was there.

RTKangaMummy · 02/09/2005 15:29

I agree WWB

QueenOfQuotes · 02/09/2005 15:32

wonders whether to post or not

misdee · 02/09/2005 15:32

your baby could have been screaming for 5mins, or even worse choking!

SherlockLGJ · 02/09/2005 15:32

WWB

Has articulated my thoughts beautifully.

Welcome to MN, how did you find us ??

Windermere · 02/09/2005 15:34

I agree with the WWB. I was planning to stay in a family friendly hotel, where they do run a baby listening service but then found out that our accommodation was in a separate building to the reception so did not feel comfortable with it. I think sometimes when you are on holiday you are more inclined to take risks that you wouldn't do at home. I live a stones throw from my local pub but I would not dream of leaving my baby at home and yet I have been on holiday with people who have left their children out of the range of baby monitors.

Mosschops30 · 02/09/2005 15:35

Message withdrawn

PrettyCandles · 02/09/2005 15:35

When ds was 12m we stayed at Knoll House, a hotel with excellent childcare and babylistening. During lunch, while ds was asleep in our room and we were in the hotel dining room, the fire alarm went off briefly, and we were informed by the restaurant manager that it had been set off by mistake and that there was no fire. Within a minute a member of the childcare staff arrived at our table to tell us that she gone into our room to check on ds and that he was fine.

Imagine that had happened at your B&B. Would someone have checked up on your child? Would you even know that it had happened? What if, God forbid, the alarm had been for real?

I think you did a foolish and naive thing, and I hope that the SS will also think so, and nothing worse. I'm sure that you didn't mean anything bad whatsoever, but to leave your baby a few houses away without a person looking after them is not a good idea.

QueenOfQuotes · 02/09/2005 15:36

hums away in the corner, waiting to see how this develops........

Windermere · 02/09/2005 15:37

What do you mean Mosschops?

fastasleep · 02/09/2005 15:37

How is it worse than some of you (quite a few if I remember) freely admitting to leaving your under 3 year old child in the bath for 5 minutes while you did other things?

Everyone takes risks that on reflection turn out to have been the wrong decision, it's human nature. Most of us are lucky enough to look back and think 'oops'. We all do it!

I wouldn't have left my toddler alone in a hotel room, probably even to go to the bar in that hotel (cos I'm weird like that!) but I have accidentally left him within reach of a cup of steaming hot tea before, and let him run round the kitchen once when I had the easily reachable grill on...

(Ooh I haven't posted in ages, hope I'm not being controversial)

SherlockLGJ · 02/09/2005 15:37

QoQ

QueenOfQuotes · 02/09/2005 15:38

I leave both my children in the bath together while I cook dinner these days (21 months and nearly 5yrs)

zippitippitoes · 02/09/2005 15:38

I think if there is a report concerning a child left alone then the police are obliged to act because of thier duty of care...there was a case in the news a week ago where a child dialled 999 from his bedroom because he was in a grump with his Dad and the police were obliged to follow it up.

fastasleep · 02/09/2005 15:38

Ok so I freely admit to haveing a 'weird thing' about bathtime, and drowing in two inches of water... shudder!!

fastasleep · 02/09/2005 15:39

I haven't posted in so long I can't type anymooore!

Mosschops30 · 02/09/2005 15:39

Message withdrawn

Windermere · 02/09/2005 15:40

I don't imagine that many people would leave their baby in a bath on their own. I know I wouldn't

QueenOfQuotes · 02/09/2005 15:40

oh - did I forget to mention my bathroom is downstairs at the end of my kitchen/utility area with the door right next to the fridge - so when I leave the door open I'm never out of sight of them

thinks twice about posting this now, or wonders if she should wait to see the reaction of people thinking they know the whole story **

fastasleep · 02/09/2005 15:40

Even if it's not genuine Mosschops, it could easily happen, so why not treat it like a genuine post? For discussion's sake

fastasleep · 02/09/2005 15:41

QoQ I did kind of mean leaving them out of sight lol

Windermere · 02/09/2005 15:42

Why do you think that Mosschops? If you were going to make something up, wouldn't it be a bit more dramatic, like "OMG, my baby was abducted by little a green man last night and now he is fluent in 54 languages". Or am I the only one with an overactive imagination . Seriously though, why do you think it is made up?

QueenOfQuotes · 02/09/2005 15:42
  • oh dear I'm in a silly mood - not sure why have to take both kids with me to choir practice tonight - ARGHHH
Chandra · 02/09/2005 15:43

... though one... I think that many hotels that are big enough to offer the babylistening service are so big that you would be further away than 2 houses. But I understand that some people worry about not being able to get fast enough to the baby in case of a problem. I recognise that I have not had yet the courage to leave DS even with the monitor, but I would not dare to complain about somebody who is using a monitor, did the person who complained noticed that you had one?

In more practical terms I think that you should get your hands in a good amount of literature regarding babylistening service and baby monitors so you are able to explain to social services that your were actually taking care that the baby was fine and that it is legally accepted to leave the room for a while as long as you keep checking. I'm sure I have seen a monitor somewhere that even rings your mobile if it catches any change in the noise, and that had a quite a big range.