Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Police nabbed us for only checking baby alarm every 5 mins

104 replies

nuparents2 · 02/09/2005 14:52

We went away for a couple of nights to a B&B on the south coast. We booked at a place which had it's own bar (as we always do) so that we can sit in the bar with a drink and the baby alarm. Unfortunately being so small they didn't offer a babylistening service (where you leave the rooms phone off the hook and staff listen in every 10 mins or so).
We found that the bar was closed but fortunately there were public bars in two hotels either side a couple of houses away.

We checked that the baby monitor worked at one of them before we put Jack to bed (13months)and once he'd settled down (he's a good sleeper) we went to the bar.

The monitor worked perfectly but unfortunately the clientelle of the bar started to get a bit "rough" so we went to the other bar.

The baby monitor was noisy here so we took it in turns every 5 minutes to walk up the road until the sound was crystal clear to check on him.

After half an hour 2 policement came up to us saying that someone had complained about us.
He said that we should be there and that we would have to have an interview with our local social services about the way we are looking after our son.

We were both gobsmacked very upset and although we would never have set out to be in this position we were mortified to think that we could get in such trouble with the authorities.

Be aware - never go outside of the best range of your monitor - it does not matter to them how often you check on your baby - you cannot be out of range even for a moment.

OP posts:
frannyf · 02/09/2005 22:05

I agree it does sound a little odd. When I first read it I was trying to work out how it could have happened. I assumed that nu and her dh were seen in the second bar trying and failing to hear baby on the monitor. Were then seen 'popping out' every few minutes, presumably to check on 'home alone' baby. There must have been a period when they first moved to the bar when they were fiddling with the monitor trying to get it to work, then presumably they gave up on it but still stayed in the bar. TBH if I had seen a couple doing this myself I would have been really concerned and probably would have done something about it. I then presume the concerned watchers either phoned the police or found a nearby copper. I know it does sound a bit farfetched in cold blood but life often is strange!

caligula · 02/09/2005 22:07

Hello Sherlock yes I saw it. Jools is very norty!!!

frannyf · 02/09/2005 22:08

I agree it is not illegal in itself to leave a child alone. However this does not give us carte blanche to leave our children unattended. At what point leaving a child becomes neglect is open to debate, but police and SS will take action against neglect, including leaving a child alone in an inappropriate (dangerous) situation.

jamiesam · 02/09/2005 22:08

Read most of this and it occurs to me that:

  1. what did people do before baby monitors? We can rely on better and better ranges etc - but our 4 yr old monitor lives in kitchen, and we go into garden so we can't hear the blo*dy thing!! Only for two mins while ds2 cries himself to sleep when tired and happy, but if ss or police were listening...

  2. we're taking ds's to a pub/hotel in a couple of month's time where monitors are not guaranteed to work, so we'll be going upstairs or whereever every so often to check that they are sleeping like babies. Have absolutely no intention of assuming that they will start choking as soon as we go downstairs (as previous post sort of warns...)

caligula · 02/09/2005 22:11

I've never had a baby monitor.

starlover · 02/09/2005 22:12

yes but caligula... do you often go downt he pub and leave the kids alone?

jamiesam · 02/09/2005 22:12

And your baby (Caligula) didn't choke etc as soon as left the bedroom....

zippitippitoes · 02/09/2005 22:16

Supposing this actually happened, then I imagine it was the hotel keepers who were wary of their duty of care and passed it on to the police ...whether that is true or not it could be and so acts as a warning to anyone else in similar circumstances...

starlover · 02/09/2005 22:16

but do you not think that there is a difference between leaving your baby upstairs in your own house while you are there, than going down the street to the pub and leaving them ina strange place?

caligula · 02/09/2005 22:18

If you saw my local pub you wouldn't ask that question. Wild horses wouldn't drag me in there!!!

Heathcliffscathy · 02/09/2005 22:19

TROLL.

starlover · 02/09/2005 22:19

lol!
you can go... but only if you take the kids!

Ulysees · 02/09/2005 22:29

Wow what a thread BTW it is a criminal offence (part of child cruelty legislation) to leave a baby alone. It amounts to mistreatment.

Ulysees · 02/09/2005 22:30

I mean alone in a building not a room lol.

jamiesam · 02/09/2005 22:31

Sorry to be pedantic but what constitutes alone? Agree in a completely different building, but on a different floor? in the garden?

zippitippitoes · 02/09/2005 22:33

Starlover that is the first time I've posted at the exact time as some one else as in

Ulysees · 02/09/2005 22:34

It's whether the circumstances are sufficient to amount to neglect.

starlover · 02/09/2005 22:36

oooh we're post-twins!

zippitippitoes · 02/09/2005 22:45

Not that such a nerdy thing would occur to me! Manic Street Preachers eh!

starlover · 02/09/2005 22:47

yeah!

zippitippitoes · 02/09/2005 22:51

Sorry, wandered off thread...sadly

Original poster
nuparents2 · 04/09/2005 10:46

Notquitecockney - yes as I understand the law although there is no set age that a child should not be left alone - there is a law regarding the safety of the child.

Besides - even if hotels do offer babylistening where they listen-in over a 'phone every so often we should not have compared our situation to that because if there had been a fire we wouldn't know about it straight away.

We looked up about this on various forums before we left and I think the fact that we found many very large hotels which provided you with a baby monitor to take around the hotel or offered babylistening put us into a state of mind where we were prepared to think checking the monitor every 5 minutes was acceptable whilst we eat and drank as we were less than 2 minutes from the room.

With hindsight we see that just doesn't follow.

The policeman said that someone had phoned in saying were were behaving suspiciously and that they had seen a baby monitor - i suspect it was our landlady - but given that she knew what sort of people we were and that we are not aggresive and obviously love our baby - it would only have taken a word to alert us to the situation and we would have rushed back - tail between legs.

As it was were felt sick and came straight home, it was the first time we had been away since baby was born and was a horrible experience.

We are now in dread of what SS will say and do.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 10:56

Personally I doubt SS will really do anything. It should be clear what sort of parent you are. I suspect you'll just get a verbal slap on the wrist.

Another thing to consider when leaving a child (which didn't occur to me before someone pointed it out) is what if something happened to you and no one knew you had left a baby somewhere?

/As long as you've learnt from your mistake, that's the main thing

alexsmum · 04/09/2005 10:57

our neighbours baby had fallen asleep in the car and they left him there to sleep-parked outside the house.Someone phoned the police .
wouldn't do that either. it only takes two mins to bring the baby in and put them in their cot, and if you don't want to lift them i would sit in the car with them and read.

Kelly1978 · 04/09/2005 10:58

I don't think she is a troll. She obs made a very silly mistake, and I can understand how scared she must be feeling right now. I had a visit from SS once, when dd was going througha stage of telling prokies which got out of hand once. It terrified me, but really there were very nice and incredibly understanding.
I had two social workers and a police man there. If they really were seriously concerned they would have been there by now. All it took in my case was a phone call either in the mornign or the prev day (nt quite sure when) and they turned up in the afternoon. They will jsut want a chat and to be reassured that you don't normally do things like this, and that will likely be the end of it.