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Original poster

Cutting edge - tonight

62 replies

anais · 22/07/2003 21:19

Is anyone else watching this? I am horrified. Don't know how it ends yet (obviously) but Mum obviously never bonded with her child and the little girl has never had any love - is it any wonder she has behavioural problems?

Very, very sad

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Mummysurfer · 22/07/2003 21:29

It's only half way thro' and as you say I don't how it all ends but at the moment I don't know who to feel more sorry for!

Girly · 22/07/2003 21:29

I know what you mean anais, its making me cry. That poor child just wants her mother to hug and her and tell her she loves her.

Its back on..

Original poster
anais · 22/07/2003 21:56

Me too Girly, it's just so tragic that they couldn't see what was wrong. Even if they manage to maintain their new ways once the cameras are gone, do you think she will come out of it all unscathed?

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hoxtonchick · 22/07/2003 21:58

I've just had to stop watching it as I burst into tears (when the Mum hugged the girl on her birthday). Really hope everything turns out ok for her.

Girly · 22/07/2003 22:00

Not sure anais, I think her mother will always be that way, but she does know she is doing it so thats a start, i do hope for Georgina's sake that her mum continues to see things through her daughters eyes, beause when she does it reflects dramtically in Georgina's behaviour.

Original poster
anais · 22/07/2003 22:04

It was fairly obvious from the start that she was desperately crying out for a bit of love and affection - and those horrible things her mum said about her. She was making so many excuses for herself and just refusing to take responsibility for any of it.

It's just heartbreaking - I feel emotionally drained now.

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bayleaf · 22/07/2003 22:08

I've been totally taken aback by the programe - I watched it because I thought it was about a behaviour management technique that avoided the use of Ritalin - when in actual fact the technique was a secondary issue - and the mother's psychological problems were what it was really about.
It did make me very, very sad though - particularly because, ''well intentioned'' though they may be, there are many thousands of 'inadequate' parents out there like Georgina's Mum - who just don't know how to be good parents and they end up with damaged children ( being a teacher I perhaps come into contact with this more than average). I don't know what the answer is - but I wish there was one....

Original poster
anais · 22/07/2003 22:14

Shouldn't Social Services have done something?

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ks · 22/07/2003 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Girly · 22/07/2003 22:18

well its made me more aware of the way I talk to my kids and the affect it has on them, Every time I feel myself getting cross I shall picture Georgina and am sure it will stop me in my tracks. I bawled when she said 'when your nice to me mummy I will be nice to you too'.

I am not saying that we should all be perpect happy parents all the time, because they can push your buttons and wind you up, but it has given me a wake up call.

jinna · 22/07/2003 22:18

the couple came on richard and judy - they recognised they had issues themselves especially the mother - e.g. she had post natal depression and had not bonded at all with her daughter- i think she also had a lot of baggage from her own childhood - but they came across as caring parents who wanted to sort themselves out so that they could help their child - goodluck to them

kittie · 22/07/2003 22:25

Was very saddened by the whole programe.This little girl was seeking love and attention from her mother, her mother obviously could'nt see that she's the one that needs help and her daughter needs lots of love.I'm a nursey nurse so just like babyleaf I come into contact with children who have problems with their behaviour, most of the time it's down to parents and how they react towards their child.

lou33 · 22/07/2003 22:30

I was taken aback by the way they spoke about their daughter at the beginnning ("it", "the child" ), and the fact that the mother admitted she had never kissed her daughter goodnight.

I agree it is a positive thing that they have recognised problems that need to be worked on, but am I the only one thinking the effort was only put in because the cameras were there? Both mum and dad constantly looked on the verge of lashing out at the poor girl. I hope they continue to improve their parenting skills, but it didn't look too convincing to me.

The saddest bit for me was hearing how she didn't have anyone who would go to her birthday party, and the dad describing how other children run away from her. Struggled to hold back the tears as she blew out the candles with only her parents there.

lou33 · 22/07/2003 22:32

Oh and the bit where they watched her aged 4 on video. Made my blood boil to see the mum totally ignoring her (I understand she had PND probably) , and the dad still standing there filming her sobbing!

OldieMum · 22/07/2003 22:56

I ran upstairs to kiss DD in one of the ad breaks. A very disturbing film. The parents had seemed to have no understanding of what life looks like from the viewpoint of a child, or how a child feels when it's told it's horrible (heard someone say this to her daughter in the supermarket today). It makes me wonder where, and how, we could help people avoid getting into a situation where they see their children as 'bad', or manipulative. If only antenatal care involved transferring parenting skills.

Tinker · 22/07/2003 22:58

I thought this couple were incredibly brave and honest. They knew they were getting it wrong and were trapped in this spiral of angry frustration, Bloody hell, I've certainly had days where I've felt like the mother, just wanting to blank out my daughter. It seems so obvious, when watching a programme, how they should have been behaving but when you are caught up in that pattern of behaviour, even for just a short while, its incredibly hard to even realise that you need to stop and think. I found this quite powerful, thought the mother in particular was very, very brave.

3GirlsMum · 22/07/2003 22:59

I thought it was really sad. The little girl was crying out for love and attention, particularly from the mother. I wonder how bad she really was to her off camera as Im sure her behaviour on camera was controlled more than normal. It had me in tears for a lot of it.

Original poster
anais · 22/07/2003 23:06

Tinker, I don't think they did know they were getting it wrong in the beginning. The father remained convinced that there was something wrong with her, and I felt that they were trying to prove she was just a bad child. It was only when that psychologist bloke (or whatever he was) pointed out that it was them that was the problem that they started to consider it an option. And even then I felt they were very hostile to his methods and didn't seem to want them to work. I wonder if they would have continued had they not had the cameras there.

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Tinker · 22/07/2003 23:12

Yes, you're right, anais, had forgotten about the first part of the programme. I think she just had a genuine fear of her child, of how to look after her and nurture her. There were a lot of other issues going on here, they were hardly your conventional couple and I do wonder if this did, as the father said, have as much to do with the lack of friends round as the daughter's bevaviour.

Original poster
anais · 22/07/2003 23:30

Don't get me wrong, if they are able to change their behaviour long-term then fantastic, all credit to them, but I don't think Georgina will escape without a certain amount of damage. Seven years is a long time to live with no love and affection, and I don't think she can get through without that having an affect.

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Seagull · 23/07/2003 00:05

Great shame. Unfortunately I feel the mother will slip back to her old habits.

ScummyMummy · 23/07/2003 00:13

Wish I'd seen this- sounds fascinating.

mears · 23/07/2003 01:18

I found this programme heart wrenching but felt that the parents really tried and learned a lot about their own behaviours, especially the mother. I have to say there have been times in my career of raising children that would have looked appalling on camera. I have had days where I have absolutely lost it and thought I was the worst mother in the world. I have always kissed and cuddled my children and actually cried when the mum said she couldn't bring herself to do it. I thought the programme was very thought provoking on how children react to the way they are treated. I hope it works out for them - you were left with the feeling that it would.

mieow · 23/07/2003 07:00

Me and DH watched this, he couldn't understand why a mother couldn't love their own child. I said that not everyone bonds with their child. I know exactly what this woman went through as DD1 was born at 31 weeks, I didn't bond with her, didn't want to in case she died, she used to cry all the time and I had PND. I hated her, wanted her taken away, but the difference is that I overcame it all before she was 2. She is now a lovely child, who has disablities and behaviour issues, but its not my parenting skills that have caused her behaviour issues. She has hugs and kisses all day and I love her to bits. She is very hard work

As for that lady calling her daughter 'IT' I was very shocked.

misdee · 23/07/2003 08:04

i only caught the last 15 mins of this programme. would love to see the whole thing, did anyone record it, or is it being repeated at any time?