Tea room 16 welcome to Shangri-la

[UniS]

Shangri-la = a hidden valley with beautiful views and crystal streams of course, and some inter-far eastern type of chalet things set around a Serene Courtyard with ever-blooming Japanese cherry trees, lots of refreshing fragrant teas, silk cushions, tinkling tiny waterfalls and bonsai trees, Gardens of Tranquillity etc.

Home to teh 16th Tea room, a haven for those with one or more or less children who like cake, tea, talking nonsense and oggling Mellors ( our handyman/ butler). If its your first vist, pull up a cushion .Mind out for the guinea pigs and other pets and do take care not to squash the teeny tiny naked mowhawk babies ( nmbs
, no longer naked and now toilet trained you will glad to hear)as they go about their duties helping Mellors.

Confused... come on, jump in and have a hot chocolate.

Too hot for me, don't like it, spent most of yesterday inside!

Yes, how are you Oxeye? You too Amber?

at the Babette Cole RS - I think her books are fantastic. Rather fancy riding sidesaddle though - DS found a picture in one of my magaziens and is fascinated by the logistics.

Did I tell you my Grandmother was in service to the family of Barbara Willard ? They were very friendly, and they kept in contact for the whole of Barbaras life, and she sent a signed copy of each book. One 'A Country Maid' has a letter tucked into it telling nana how it was inspired by her

Thought we had lost Cat3 - he hadn't been around since Friday night, but has just casually walked in as though nothing had happened. Phew.

Amber - your boss is being unreasonable - all employees have a duty of care for their staff and by taking this attitude I would say that he could be demonstrated to be discriminating and bullying. I hope someone can help you - you've got my email address (must go on and look at my emails now that my computer is working again (hurrah!)). Flowerybeanbag seems to be VERY hot on employment issues and might be able to help too....

Tea - YAY for new job! mistlechick has been doing french since nursery and knows quite a lot of words now and regulary comes out wiht them... not that impressed by his accent at the moment which is a pity as my accent was wonderful when I started at 6 and gradually went downhill as I restarted the next 2 school changes... That's the difference between a native speaking teacher and a teacher for whom the 2nd language is just that...

DH has a job interview for the next potential contract - unfortunately its not local and he'd have to stay away all week. But its better having him do that but be employed and happy than unemployed, miserable and at home.

I hope all the illnesses improve soon.

UniS - if DH does get this contract, the chances are that he'll not be with us for the full week of Hols in Devon - in which case a day out to come and visit you would be ideal - or meeting at a pre-arranged location.... Mistlechick almost always gets on well with other children, particularly if they're a little younger - so hopefully we should be OK. Might leave mistledog at my parent's house as mistlechick and mistledog might be too much of a good thing on holiday....

Yup, still alive thanks. and thank you again to everyone who is providing a bit of emotional support/handy hints through this. Still really shellshocked by it.

Anyone for a slice of cake? Your favourite sort, of course.

Amber - Yet more advice. I used to work in this area and am quite sure that your manager is shirking his duty of care.

I think you have two lines of attack well-considered arguments to put forward. One is on 'reasonable adjustments' under the DDA, where your knowledge is greater than mine. The other is son duty of care to protect you from bullying and harassment. I found this in an RCN leaflet. It's obviously written from a nursing perspective but the law is the same for you as it is for nurses and the advice about bullying by clients is particularly relevant:

Bullying or harassment by patients, clients and relatives

You may experience bullying and harassment by patients, their relatives and other members of the public.This is unacceptable and your employer has a legal duty to ensure that you are not exposed to any unnecessary health and safety risks. All health service employers should have policies for dealing with this, or be developing procedures. (See Bullying and harassment at work: a good practice guide for RCN negotiators and health care managers, publication code 000 926 for further information).

What do you do if patients, clients or relatives bully you?

1 If this happens follow your employer?s policy and procedures for dealing with bullying and harassment by patients or other members of the public.Where there is no protocol report the incident to your manager. You have the right to expect your manager to take action on your behalf. If you think the manager?s response is inadequate, contact your RCN representative for further advice.

2 Harassment is a criminal offence and you should report the incident to the police. The RCN is encouraging health care employers to support their staff in reporting harassment.

3 Because bullying and harassment is a form of violence you should complete an accident or adverse incident form. This will help your employer make risk assessments, and safeguard your interests if there is future legal action. You should keep a copy of the accident form.

Oxeye - Sorry I forgot to offer you a bracing shoulder rub as OxBloke paddles off in his canoe again. Here, I'll even let you have the cardboard cutout of George Clooney next to your place on the distressed silk sofa.

Iced tea and a lemon biscuit anyone?

Oops. Crossed with Amber.

Have you got any lemonade there, perchance Amber?

Hello all!

I know this is very bad form to just leap in, all new like, but I wondered if any of you could pop over to a thread I just created? I gave it a misleading title, and it sounds totally tedious, but it's really about the battle between head and hormones when it comes to the dreaded 'another child' question.

It's currently called 'DP says no more kids...'

Bunch, yup, I use policies like that for my own staff and as part of our School Governor policies. But this particular charity doesn't seem to have an anti-bullying policy at all. And isn't interested in having one so far. Nor a vulnerable adult policy, nor a disability policy. It was supposed to be part of my work to enable some of this to happen for them. arrgh.

Yes please to lemon biscuits.

Herbaceous - welcome ! In the Tea Room, the only thing that is bad form is to give people grief over their family size, otherwise anything goes

Lemon biscuits would be lovely, as would some lemonade.

Herbaceous, I've pottered along to the thread and given you the benefit of my small daft brain's few existing thoughts. Feel free to ignore them totally . Have a large cuppa.

Hello, herbaceous. Love your name.

I'll pop over to your thread but please feel free to drop in here whenever you fancy a chat.

Amber - Hmm, in that case I think part of your script needs to be that having no policy makes the charity even more vulnerable to legal challenge and ignominious defeat if ever taken to a tribunal, as it hasn't got the "well, we've got the policy but someone slipped up and we failed on this one occasion" excuse. The legal responsibilities don't go away just because they haven't got a policy, as you know.

Hi all
I know I have only dipped in and out of the Team Room (oo-er) but wanted to let you all know that I have tested this morning and it was positive. Very shocked and slightly freaked out at the moment as was so sure I wasn't pregnant and was getting myself ready to make an appointment to renew my pill prescription!!
I think I'm am 5 weeks pregnant.
So after all my tooing and froing about whether or not to have another child it seems that fate has stepped in and taken over.
I think this will take some getting used too and DH has promised to help me in any way he can so....

Bensmum, that's fab news - isn't it? Congratulations anyway and I hope all goes well.

herbaceous - will pop along in a min.

amber - am more that part of your job is to introduce an anti-bullying policy and you are effectively being prevented from doing it because someone is bullying you! The irony, oh the irony! But seriously - can you not have a word with the Charities Commission about this? They must have some kind of blanket "code of conduct" thingy for people who run charities and I'm sure they wouldn't be any too impressed with a boss of a charity not conforming to their legal obligations.

TW, not sure. I tried the Charities Commission a while back when a linked charity to this one made similar mistakes...and they said they weren't really bothered. No, seriously. They only seem to step in when it's major public defrauding or PR disasters concerning charities, not individual situations. They just tell you to sort it out with the charity itself.

Bensmum, Brilliant!

well that's just rubbish of them then, isn't it . I hope you do find some way to resolve it - maybe someone else knows of a body with enough weight to frighten your boss into behaving himself.

Oh my, now I have visions of a Sumo Wrestler!!

Fantastic news Bensmum

I am annoyed too Amber, on your behalf.

LOL at Sumo wrestler - now there's an idea - hire one of those to protect you from anyone who is mean to you! All he needs to do is sit on them...

Unis LOL at thought of amber in sumo suit sitting on her boss.

Boy in bath with DH supervising. means I will have some water to give garden this evening.

I have just 3 cryptic famous People questions left from a quiz to get, any of you any good at these things?
Sounds like a shaved vegetable.
Simple man with a hood.
Tarzan's lady doesn't hit the centre .

Actually- scratch that last one, i just "got" it, Jane Middlemiss. Have I spelt that correctly?

Had about 8 drops of rain earlier, It is RATHER hot. I'm on 2nd T-shirt of teh day as 1st got all sweaty and horrid. TMI, sorry.

Mines a long cold one please.

Worry not about cryptic names, DH and I have got them sussed whilst watering teh garden.

Isn't it nice how teh tea room garden has a permanent light breeze if you sit in teh right place. The NMBs are doing a great job with watering too. and that water feature even sounds cool and calm.

Ice cream sundaes anyone?

no no no - you can't not tell us, UniS! That's cruel...
I did think the first one might be Jasper's lesser known brother, Julian Carrot but that was as far as I got.

Hello ladies

I've brought some rather delicate cucumber sandwiches - one can have too much sweetness in the heat, I find.

Thank you for all your wise words on my thread. It made me blub massively yesterday, but I feel a bit better today. Just low-level misery. DP being excessively nice to me, which is both annoying and gratifying.

ASBoF - I am of a gardening persuasion, but rather less than I was. The garden has gone to wrack and ruin over the past two years - thanks to pregnancy and then small baby - but we have DS's birthday party in a few weeks time so I'm going to do some titivation. Probably only amounting to putting some bedding plants in strategic pots. Maybe Mellors could help with the heavy work.