Tea Room the Thirteenth

[amberlight]

Welcome to the newest instalment of the One Parent Families tea room. As it's heading for spring, we're now in a nice warm orangery surrounded by woodland filled with spring flowers. All are very welcome to join in with us parents of one (or indeed more!), the tea room gardener/handyman Mellors, various virtual Bishops (don't ask) and a variety of other characters from previous tea rooms. Grab a cuppa, relax!...

Ug - what an awful day... we ended up staying in all day because Milk was up most of last night wondering around wide eyed, shaking and crying... those nightmares she has are really nasty!

We decided that we are too fragile today to do anything constructive today. No work. No school. Big duvet! She is laying on the sofa watching Laurel and Hardy and I have spent much of the day chatting with my Dad on the phone... when things get grey I watch Manhattan when I feel really grey I phone my Dad.

What is really getting me down is juggling work and family life. Does anyone else find getting that perfect balance really rather difficult?

For Amber and Mary. Amber, I hope you can get the operation sorted soon and that it will be successful and hassle free.

Also for me. My Grandma died in the night. She was 95 and had been ill for a while now and it isn't that much of a surprise. But, I did want to be able to go to the funeral. But, with the K's op and the prices, and the fact that Gatita hasn't got a UK passport yet (which means we can't fly via the US as she doesn't have a visa either) means that it is nigh on imposible. Mr. Hatita says I should go with G and leave K with him, but even so, flights via Europe are few and far between.

I'm off to join Amber and Mary in the priest hole to ponder this.

Also for you too Tea. Do you want to join us down here. The crepe suzettes are rather nice.

unis knoks 3 times on the priest hole lid. the inhabitants understand that these are sympathetic knocks and a muffled gurgle and mumbled crumby noises can be heard.
Unis takes that as acknowledgement of her warm feelings towards her friends and heads out teh door to the (RL) pub.

Sorry to hear the news Catita - and it must be difficult being so far away and journeys being so difficult.

Mary - {{{hugs}}}

Amber - would you like this nice warm flannel and a towel?

Tea - me too - I'm finding having to work full time and pick ds from school but then settle down and work at home when dh is meant to be looking after ds very difficult.

(Another 3 smilies day today - YAY)(sorry, but after Friday and Monday, needed a bit of better news!)

So sorry to hear about CatitaGrandma. Could Senor Hatito cope with G? It might help you to go. If not, could you arrange your own leave taking ceremony where you are? In church, if that is the important part to you, or on a beach/in your garden, etc.

Tea, can Milk tell you what the nightmares are about? Does she wake up or is it night terrors where she is walking and screaming fast asleep? Glad that you have TeaDad to talk to. Sometimes one can feel too far from home. Will try and send v small parcel tomorrow - where are C&L when they are needed? Do you work full time?

TBH, I don't find there is a conflict between home and work; it is what our health visitor called 'multiple caring responsibilities' - Aged Parent, Wriggle, depressed sister, M.Snake and me. M.Snake has finally taken his cough to the dr who has given him antibiotics and steroids and a device to measure his lung capcity twice a day. NOT the sort of items one can really safely give a hypochondriac. He may, apparently, have asthma and is having a little crisis.

Daisy, I hope 2010 is looking up a bit. And for Mary and Amber's Fine Lad.

Where is StillCrazy - I hope not missing due to stressful RL; maybe off on a whirlwind Valentine's trip somewhere glamerous.

AandO - absolutely no experience with toilet-traning traumas, but sympathetic. I have a friend who found payment very effective - paid her dc the cost of every clean nappy they presented ...

Sorry to hear about your grandma, Catitainahatita

RS - I have, on occasion, been given an inhaler... I have recently been told I'm probably slightly asthmatic and that if I had the inhaler for a long period it might help. However, I am adamant that I DO NOT HAVE ASTHMA. I already have allergies and excema - I don't need anything else. And, becuase I sing (a lot, in a good, small choir), my lung capacity is actually rather good, even when I have an awful cough - which means that the Drs are unwilling to definitely say that I've got it... so I'm happy not to have it

Hello everyone. I'm not missing, just not so vocal at the moment.

Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear about CatitaGrandma. Ninetyfive is indeed a good age, but it's still sad. I think, Catita, that if you wanted to take Gatita to the UK, the British Embassy might be able to rush through a passport if you explain the circumstances. And couldn't you then go through the US visa-free under the visa waiver program? But I'm wittering.

(((Hugs))) to Catita, Amber, Mary and anyone else who's snuck into the priest's hole while I haven't been looking. And (((hugs))) to anyone wrestling with multiple caring responsibilities or hypochondriac spouses.

Hello all - am now in Ozland again. It was a journey and a half but I won't bore you with the details just now, we are just glad we got back.

Catita - mucho sympathy re. Grandma, it is always such an emotional struggle to know what is best to do. and ((hugs)) for you.

Amber - also to you - sorry to hear about the Fine Lad's eyes but hope that the operation will fix it up quicksmart.

T42 - what a horrid thing for Milk to have to live with - I used to have terrible nightmares when I was little as well so sympathise. The only good thing is that I grew out of them (mostly, they're extrememly rare now )

Mary - ((hugs)) to you too - do you need some more pins? or perhaps a meat skewer?

work-life balance - I only managed by working from home, and I only did a maximum of 3 clients in a day (therapeutic massage before anyone gets excited) and that was only on special special request, normally only did 2. That doesn't really help you, does it, sorry.

Bolly would be nice - help me recover from the flight. Urgh.

Well, I've been thinking on the subject, but I am in a agony of indecision over what wouuld be best.

StillC: Gatita can get a Mexican passport in a day, it's actually a very efficient service. Getting a UK one at speed is nigh on impossible due to the fact that the UK embassy in Mexico no longer issues passports. All paperwork has to be posted (by courier) to Washington DC. But even before that, we have to get a UK birth certificate for her. The British embassy in Mexico has had the relevant documents for its issue for over a month and a half, but do not seem to have got around to sending it to me yet (by courier again).

With a Mexican passport only Gatita cannot do the visa waiver programme; for obvious reasons any Mexican wanting to set foot in the US needs a visa. But Mexicans don't need visas in the EU, so we could technically still go, if I could find a flight that we could afford.

Racing: Gatita is being bfed and so I can't leave her behind. Kittenito, yes, but Mr. H works crazy hours (10am to 9pm) and so, would need extra outside help to manage my absence. This could feasibly be done, but I think it would be traumatic for K seeing as I am the parent he sees most of, makes all his meals, gives him his bath/reads his story etc etc and although he loves it when his papi does any of the above at the weekend, I'm not sure he'd be happy with anyone else for a whole week. Plus of course, I'm not sure I could leave him for a week. And certainly not, if the op were to go ahead (which Mr. H says we can find a way of posponing....)

Thus I can technically go, but it would be upsetting and stressful for me, Kittenito and Gatita ....

if it's any help to you Catita, probably not much but anyway, when I had to stay in hospital for 2 nights just prior to Christmas I was desperately worried how miniThumb would be without me, especially as he normally sleeps with me, but he was fine. Oddly, so was I - because I knew he was.
I know that's only 2 nights but he seemed to manage fine; and he's managed fine without Daddy for 3 weeks as well!

If you have to go for a whole week it could be more stressful of course; and it's not worth the money or stress to go for less, is it. I don't suppose mrHat could possibly take time off (those ARE crazy hours!) while you go? Would his family help out? (I can't remember if they live near or far away)

Morning all.

Tea, yes re juggling. People don't know how I juggle everything. Neither do I. Or why I do, for that matter. Spent 7 yrs at home after DS was born as it was Totally Impossible to work and find anyone to care for him at that stage in his life. But even then managed to co-run toddler group, train as NCT birth partner etc etc to keep my brain ticking over/give me ridiculously challenging challenges.

Catita, so sad to hear about your Grandma. Even when we expect it, it's not any easier. Hugs for you, and large cuppa.

MT, yes please for the flannel and towel - and maybe I need to do a hosing down for the priest hole - I seem to have made a bit of a mess with the pancakes just about everywhere down there and the Bishops will be back at any minute...

DS was magnificent in his last-night theatrical performance yesterday. Followed by wild party from which I have collected him this morning

Don't worry Amber, I've brought the Irish wolfhounds into the priests hole - they've hoovered up any pancake remains and are now romping out front on the lawn, with Mellors keeping a watchful eye to ensure they don't wreck the borders.

Saw some little lambs today IRL, isn't that a bit early, she wonders?

Slept badly, not brilliant today

that Amber's Fine Lad seems to go to an all-night party every week. Or maybe that is teenage life nowadays.

Would anyone like a soothing hot chocolate? Served by Mellors in his butler garb?

Mary - would you like to join me for a reading session at 3am tonight? Had another this morning. Then mini-loon arrived at just after school morning get up time and wanted to come into bed - and promised not to wriggle... then proceeded to whistle. I sent him into dh (currently in spare room - he's getting in late after show and we've both got colds and we tend to sleep better that way ) who apparently told him to go back to bed so I had to get up with him AGAIN!

Amber - I'm dreading party issues when it comes to that! And I am amazed what you put yourself through given the circumstances.

We have the delights of being given a Barnaby (one of 4!) to take home from school - he went on a walk with us today. Sometimes they get to go all sorts of exotic places - but there are going to be lots of local places and fairly ordinary things that 'our' Barnaby is going to do this 1/2 tern

Well, I dunno for sure, but I reckon Barnaby is a bear. There is one on the BBC with his own series. If it works as it does at CrazyGirl's school, he goes home with a different child every week and keeps a journal of his adventures hastily written by the parents on Sunday night.

Pass the Bolly.

mary - on one of "my" other threads, there is a sheep farmer lady and they have were lambing a few weeks ago so not that early. Not that helpful in all the snow either (!) but apparently "normal"

of the Fine Lad's all night party - I remember those from when I was a youngster too but without regret - am much too old now to be able to cope with them!

Pass the bolly!

Yes, Barnaby's a small teddy - there are 4 that are given out for holidays. And we have to take photos of them doing things. Then there is a classroom album kept with where they've been.

The Barnaby Bear series on TV is (I'm on skype and they have a much better smiley for that!!!!). It really is nauseating! I think I'd even prefer Ben 10

Barnaby on TV makes me want to vom a lot I have to say.

Sorry to hear about Catitagrandmother, and the need for surgery on the Fine Lads eye

Am not sure I have a work life balance tbh

We had quite a nice day (riding, visit to my parents, lunch out with them to avoid my mothers cooking) until on our return DH drove through a small puddle only to discover it was a v large pothole which bent the alloy wheel and therefore made the tyre flat. No torch in the car for some reason, so limped to a house with an outside light on, and knocked on the door to ask to borrow one. V V V nice man brought the torch out, insisted on helping DH change the wheel, his wife offered me a cuppa inside (but I stayed out in case DS did wake up), and they offered DH a hand wash etc after. Very grateful to them. The space saver tyre didn't make it a fun drive home though

Hello everyone
No real reason for big absence, these threads just move so fast and I found it really hard to keep up. Then one day I typed a really long post with loads of personals and the PC crashed and I lost it all, so I went into a right strop and then time passed and then it was Christmas....
But we're all good here, gymgirlie is really glad it's half term, and I'll be glad not have to rush so much next week.
Anyway, it's nice to see you all again and I hope to pop in again soon.
gymbunny

Hello NQAGB! I missed a bit - decided only to catch up the last bit rather than go through the whole lot - so I quite understand! You well?

mistlechick arrived at 6am - after he decided that whistling was allowed in the 'be still and quiet' requirements, I sent him back to bed. He arrived back at 7 - so, based on our (dh and me) discussions yesterday () I sent him to dh. After 10mins the noise level was getting too much to cope with so I got up. Apparently I should have left it another 2mins and dh would have got up to sort breakfast out etc.

Me too, I keep losing my place!

Am I right in thinking that the Barnaby the bear we are talking about is different from that of my childhood "Barnaby the bear's my name, never call me Jack or James" and "birds taught me to sing, when they took me to their king".