The One and Only Tea Room Christmas craft fair - back by popular demand

[MadBadandCoveredinTinsel]

Following the amazing success of last year's fair, we are back again with a selection of festive crafts. Come and browse the charming hand-crafted gifts - and set up a stall with your own wares. Mulled wine, lebkuchen and mince pies are available at the refreshment stall.

On my stall, I am selling pine cone fir lighters. The cones were gathered from the hillsides of Tuscany and are tied with twine woven from the gossamer wings of fairies.

I add my lovingly knitted gin bottles (sort of like the Innocent Smoothie hats, but taken a leetle bit further)

I add a stall of hand-made Christmas cards, produced following an episode of Mr Maker where he demonstrated blow painting. Due to three-year olds' inability to control the amount of dribble produced, the paint is very dilute and these cards are mainly decorated with saliva. Practically on a par with Marc Quinn or Marcel Duchamp.

Those would be fire lighters.

at artistic uses of dribble.

Fir lighters would be most appropriate at this time of year.

I am (a la bauble thread) busy at this very moment crocheting some avid customers.

Excellent. I did try to sculpt some, but ran out of clay.

Just going to try and lassoo a couple of passers-by with one of those handy little spider nets Thumb has on her stall. Rather beautiful, but I do wish she'd put the spider under the table.

I have crafted some buyers out of paper mache, and the paper mache is all left over pieces of old christmas card that I have recycled

so they will be festive but probably a bit parsimonious

Oh.... ...It is rather urrrrmmmm... ooooohhh... grey around here. Perhaps if we set up a ho chocolate and Mulled wine table and put some Christmas music on it will feel a bit more cheery!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsYUdWMARwA&feature=related

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRzyOSAJg94

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tkZbbY6_EA&feature=related

Merry Christmas xxx

Not sure about parsimnious buyers. Do we really need root vegetables at the craft fair?

We do indeed - there was a whole group of Swedes here earlier

Boom, boom!

Turnip! Turnip! Come and get some luuverrly potatoes

That's what we need; a Christmas veg market. Allow me to donate these hand-knitted sprouts, lovingly crafted out of recycled tissue paper hats from 100,000 primary school Christmas parties last week.

Tahmatoes, get yer tahamatoes 'ere, only fifty pence a pahnd, roll up leddies and gentlepersons, don't be the last ter miss aht on these bargins, innit

(I always wanted to run a stall at the local market....)

Sorry I haven't been back for a while, I've been knitting some seasonal merchandise for my stall.

Nine Elms!? I'll 'ave you know that my dear old Dad woz a genuine Cockney, born wivin the sahnd o' Bow Bells.

am loving the crazy turn the craft fair has taken

Hang on, I can hear Dick Van Dyck singing about chimneys or something, it's a leetle bit hard to understand his accent

Lor' love a duck. Got any sprouts on yer stall then, Amber? 'Tis Christmas, after all.

Would a stall with hand-made jewelry be acceptable?

Not only would it be acceptable, Jacksmama, it would also raise the tone.

Well hey, since I rarely do that (raise the tone of anything, that is), I'd better get going on some glittery earrings!

Ooh. Can I order some dangly ones? (Earrings, that is, before anyone .)

Of course. And if you really want some (as in, in RL), I don't know if I still have my brag pictures jewelry on my profile but you could CAT me and I'll make you some.