Tea Room the Twelfth

[RacingSnake]

Come in, come in, to Tea Room the Twelfth! We now inhabit a rambling log cabin, surrounded by mysterious pine forests and mist-covered mountains (but also, strangely) easily accessible by regulars, new-comers and passing bishops, ferried in by Mellors driving the troika. All the usual rules apply and all are welcome!

OK, lunch is up for anyone that wants some. Ds has surpassed himself, so you can choose from lewd or not lewd rolls, depending upon whether you want the rockets, the lorry or the motorbike (now they've risen and been cooked, they have lots most of the semblance to the named items so you'll have to guess which is which) and I found some of Amber's leftover soup in the fridge, so have put it to warm up on the aga.

I'll have soup and a motorbike roll please.

Think I can guess where you work DCMB, and agree that the proportion of ASC people must be high. DH does a lot of work with actuaries, and even though he has strong tendencies that way, often comments on the fact that they are almost always much more aspie than him

Ah yes, MT and others, you're not the only ones to be about what I can't do. Other candidates for include the people I work with, friends, and of course the Bishops etc (the real life ones, not the tea room ones, who are quite used to me, of course ).

Organising conferences is easy, because I take along my support team to look after me so that I can concentrate on looking after everyone else.

Jetsetting is jolly hard and I hardly ever go alone, as I get panicked in no time at all and end up doing something Very Silly or getting triple-frisked by the security guards who are wondering why I'm behaving in an odd way.

Can't live alone. Really don't have the skills to cope with everyday tasks without forgetting things, overestimating problems, underestimating things, or just panicking. I end up scared, not sleeping, not coping and not looking after myself properly.

I'm blessed with wonderful people in life who are there, and who let me do the things I can do.

There we go, learning again - hadn't occurred to me that someone could be unable to live independently but very capable in other arenas (if you'd not guessed from the context, friend's DB is more of the 'institutionalised' kind of unable to live alone ).

Good grief, the kittens are on stonking form this afternoon - one of them leapt on me whilst I was on the phone to a man from the Post Office.

DCMB, yes indeed, though curiously there's plenty of us attempting to live independently who'd love to swap to a situation where we were indeed being looked after.

The 'magic formula' in social services has been for years to imagine that independent living is what everyone wants and desires, and is the Gold Standard, the End Result Par Excellence. A colleague who works within social services learned of one 'independent living' experiment with us that went horribly wrong. They decided that the people in a residential placement would like to have lots of choices: Free choice of things for breakfast, colours of bedding, choice of clothes, decorations on walls, activities during the day, etc.

Result - total devastation and non-coping. We can't choose. That's a generalisation. Some can, of course. But many of us can't. It's just stressful. When they took the choices away, people were happy again.

Others were put into 'independent living' and told to manage their own affairs. There's a brilliant personal diary video of the end results of this - where one lady spent no less than seven solid hours of one day trying to send off one application form in one envelope with one stamp on it, unable to work out how to buy just one thing in the shop or what to put on the form. And having to repeat everything over and over again because there was no-one to help her organise her time or tell her when to stop. She was so distressed. But it's a big success for social services because she's independent (not!).

I recently got into a huge mess because I was doing project work and they thought I could manage my own time, and I can't. I need someone to say 'do this - for this long-give the report to me - stop'. Without it, I can go without sleep and rest for days because I forget to stop. Then there's the small matter of me trying to cross a road when overloaded with sensory information and how often I don't even see the oncoming traffic.

Freedom can be much overrated.

Mileage may vary on this. Many people forced into terrible living conditions with unsuitable people or given appallingly bad choices yearn for something with more personal space, more suitable choice, etc. Quite right too.

But for many of us, independent living per se is the last thing we want. Personal space, yes, but many of us need someone to help us live sensible lives.

Thus ends today's sermon.

Hellooo all xxx

Amber - your life never ceases to amaze me!

daisy - mwaaah mwahhhh darling - it has been too too long!!!

Soooo... I thought this might make you smile...

(scene - in the park after school children whizzing round and round on a merry-go-round...)

Me: So... (trying to think of something to say) uuurrrmmm... what is your dd going to dress up as for the fancy dress party this weekend?

other mum: (frowns) A Princess. Of course. She is a girl. What else is there?

(There is a pause as I digest this and the other mum frowns some more - perhaps wondering why I asked the question or perhaps trying to think of something to say too?)

Why do you ask? What is Milk going as then???

Me: We are still deciding... at the moment but she is pretty keen on going as a doctor!

Tea. Dearie me, the Parisians (I assume), so provincially backward [ironic emoticon]

Amber Wow, I had never considered how difficult making choices was. It gives me a whole new perspective.

Kittenito's op is tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Ah, fingers crossed for Kittenito.

And perhaps women's liberation has not reached your part of Paris, Tea? You should let it be known that Milk will be going as Simone de Beauvoir.

Would a fine single malt with optional twiglets steady your nerves, Catita? Or we have a selection of cheeses tonight, to be eaten with rosemary and sea salt biscuits or one of Mistlechick's vehicular rolls.

Would anyone else care for a little snifter?

xxxx Good luck Kittenito!!! xxxx

How long should recovery take?

LOL madmad!!!

Or perhaps Milk could wear this...

www.notonthehighstreet.com/thetoyfactory/product/suffragette

????

The thing is if Milk wanted to go as a Princess - fine but I am not going to tell her that is the only option open to her!!!

We are currently deciding between garden fairy, doctor and a pirate... but... she keeps saying she wants to go as Mr Jeremy Fisher grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Anymore simple but great ideas are welcome!!!

Perhaps I'm a big meany, but if Gatita expresses a desire to go to fancy dress party as a princess, I would do my very best to convince her to wear something else. But I suppose, being also weak willed when it comes to my children, would probably relent if she insisted.

What a about a (mad) scientist with a white coat and frizzly hair?? Can't be that difficult to do (says she who has no idea about such things)

Kittenito will be home a week until his stitches come out and then we shall see. Given that this is op number 2, I don't know if he'll have to have more rest (ha!)than last time.

Well the reason Milk was so keen on being a doctor is that she has this...

www.elc.co.uk/toy/doctors-outfit/

and plays with it loooooots and looots!!!

I was afraid it is a bit boring and uncreative though...

Shouldn't I be upto midnight making something???

Her most favoured option right now is to go as Mr Jeremy Fisher but that is an outfit far beyond my capabilities!!!

Ooooh - Catita... OOOOUCH I really feel for you. An ill but lively child is very dificult to look after indeed!!!

Good luck and please come to the tearoom as much as you can because it is important to look after you too and I like to think we do look after each other as much as we can here.

hey all

sorry for the absence i have been working like a dog and not able to get onto t'internet due to having a crlaptop my brother is sorting it out this weekend though so i should be back online at home by monday
i havent caught up yet but i will do that tomorrow afternoon while its quiet in work
hope all is well i have left a BIG pile of choccie brownies and some hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream over on that table over there so help yourselves i myself am avoiding all calorific treats but have had a brownie as they are actually minus calorie content so you lose weight just by eating them 11lb and counting

Lo.
I love having a rolly chair and a laminate floor. I've scooted over to the box ( coffeetable in most houses, box in ours) and helped my self to crisps and rolled back again. Bliss.

DCMB- maps? hydrology? Defra ? Can;t think what other sciencey institutes are down this way.

Motorbike rolls, great. Do remind me to share boys "dog" rolls sometime. The rainbows are kinda cool too.

Fancy dress party? Boy will want to go as a dog. in fact any party, boy will want to wear his dog suit. Its what he wears for parties... black fun fur tabard with a tail and a dog collar attached, and a head band with fun fur ears. It started life as a spider costume with 6 legs ... but has been stuck as a dog for a year now. I reckon it will make a sheep or a cat quite well, or a small black cloud.

Um, gonna have to persuade him its not a good choice for his own party , we're taking him and a few friends to a soft play barn.

oh, I missed lots of posts

Kittenito good luck and hugs and Catita, second you coming back here muchly for love and wine comfort

Go as Doctor, yes, with frizzy hair. Or striped tights and short blazer and you have a sort of jeremy fisher?

lol as Spider-Morf-Dog costume

erm, I mean that Milk should dress up as mad doctor etc not that Kittenito should go to hospital thus...

as you were

Sorry, not on last night - fingers crossed for a good as posssible day with Kittenito Catita...

Mistlechick said to me that, next time there is a party at a certain soft play location (nice one, not the yuk one associated with a pub(yuk near me anyway!)) he is going to go in his ladybird costume Also not exactly 'suitable' for a soft play party! I'm going to hope that he forgets that one....

Panda - very impressed - should join you. However, not really in the right place at the mo - if only MrMT could find a job, would be slightly less stressed and might feel less inclined to comofort eat. Oh, and if mistlechick stopped waking me up in the middle of ht enight I might also feel less tired so, again, less inclined.... Last night his sheet came untucked...

Catita, everything crossed and prayers aplenty for today's op and recovery for little one...let us know?

Morning all!

Daisy, my mind is boggling at the thought of how opening a can of worms would impact on ASC Handy for fishing, though? I think the Tea Room Bishops are still hoping for a decent salmon out of the Episcopal Mill Stream, so maybe they could use a few?

Had a lovely email back from the staff of the primary wot I test-drove for two children's ASC issues the other day (she says in her Best English), saying they'd like me to stare at all the other children with an ASC now, as they hadn't realised even a quarter of what was needed. Brilliant! And this was after expert training and materials. All the expert training and materials in the world can't make a neurotypical brain experience the world as we do, though.

Croissants, tea, coffee and a selection of fruit and pastries for those feeling snackish...

Fancy dress sorted... Milk is going as a pirate!!!

"Grrrr ooohhh ahhh me 'earties!"

We just need to make a patch and we can do the rest using her wardrobe, my wardrobe and her toybox!

WAAAAHOOOOO!!!

Thanks for all your ideas xxx

Amber sounds as though you made a very positive impression! I can quite understand why your hands-on comments are so much more useful that what they have learned or gathered from training and materials. It must be like trying to learn to ride a horse from text books, or to understand what it is like to have and train your own dog, or to read the manual on how to play the piano... It leaves out the learning by doing part that is so important. However, in this case, the teachers are trying to understand what it is to view the school from a standpoint that they will never experience. Even if they grasp the pricipals of the whole training and materials, its the application of those that must be quite difficult - they might think that they have got some things right - but you can go and immediately point out that, in fact, the position of such a thing is realy distracting because you are constantly seeing a computer's flashing light - or whatever. These are points that they would have have become effectively imune to (like a large proportion of us!). Perhaps you ought to offer your services to a wider audience (with appropriate remuneration of course) so that teaching for children with ASD is improved!!!

MT - WOW - That is one seriously fab post and one in which I would like to second...

Amber - you really do have a true talent and I have an unbelievable amount of respect for you!

P.S - incase you weren't joking earlier- 'opening a can of worms' is what we say when we point out a problem that actually leads to identifying many many many more problems that there is no instant solutions for.

is are.