Tea Room the Twelfth

[RacingSnake]

Come in, come in, to Tea Room the Twelfth! We now inhabit a rambling log cabin, surrounded by mysterious pine forests and mist-covered mountains (but also, strangely) easily accessible by regulars, new-comers and passing bishops, ferried in by Mellors driving the troika. All the usual rules apply and all are welcome!

A man marrying his MIL may be a bit Eeeewwww, but I remember one disfunctional family at school where the mother ran off with her FIL ...

Awful day, culminating in Wriggle somehow sustaining a cut lip while standing behind me in a queue ... .. DH convinced that I did it somehow and very angry for many hours. Bizarre, altogether. I wonder if she bit it.

Running off with the FIL? Sounds like a plot from a soap opera!

I'm sorry to hear about Wriggle's lip, Racing, but why on earth would MonsieurSerpent blame you? Does he think you're negligent? Or deliberately hurting her? Either way, I feel very for you.

Would a (((hug))) help? Or - perhaps more useful - a gin and tonic with a twist of lime?

Happy New Year all, sorry I've been away! We went to my parents' for Christmas, then MiL afterwards, back NYE and been a bit busy...

Eccles sounds lovely. We managed to get the dog before the child (not planned that way, just happened), although a dog was 'on the list' before a child... dog was on the 'must have' list pre meeting dh...! (although having dh was on the list too at that time!)

Had to have words with MiL - she told me off for telling mistlechick off for doing something really silly having been misbehaving for some time. Later that night, when mistlechick had gone to bed dh and I told her that he was manipulating her (and us) and that if she didn't start changing how she viewed him, he'd misbehave with her to the extent that she wouldn't want him to come and visit ever...!!!

Lots of lego and other construction kits for boy - so he's happy.

How's everyone else doing?

Hello all.

JM Hiya: I'm afraid we´re stll a gingernut free-zone here. But I haven´t ben to the PO since before Christmas. I shall pop by tomorrow and see.

As for the weather. This part of Mexico often gets chilly days in the winter; we call them "los nortes" (for obvious reasons really). Normally a typical cold frontthe last 2-5 days and move on, leaving us back in the arms of the sun. Occasionally the cold fronts come one after another in quick sucession. In 2006 we had about 4 weeks of cold weather. However, it's been chilly here now for 6 ish weeks. Next week we are forcast minus 2 for Friday and Saturday.

We suffer because of a lack of heating. In the normal weather patterns the cold fronts tend to be interspersed with sunny weather which warms up the house and so insulates you from the cold outside. But after 6 solid weeks of very little sun, the house is cold to start with.

Keeping warm and keeping the children warm is a real nightmare in such a situation. I never thought I'd say this,, but roll on the summer!

Very impressed with Mistle for tackling MIL in a positive manner. You should be very proud! They do learn to manipulate so quickly. Am thinking now that DH and I are going to have a big problem with this since we can't agree on our methods .. and since he won't listen, I'll have to change the way I do things, even though I find her behaviour embarrassing at times. The trouble is, my sister is staying and is stomping out in irritation when I give in to Wriggle and DH for the sake of harmony - another totally unreasonable person to accommodate!

Still, to be more positive, the weather forecast is for another beautifuk sunny day and term starts again tomorrow. Yay! And Tea has a cute little puppy and feels like a grown up, Mistle is sorting out family relationships and MadBad appears to be partying non stop!

RS - Ouch!!! Your life sounds really tough right now... .

Rellies are very nice in small quantities but why they think they should decide how our children are raised is quite beyond me.

Catita, no heating at all? Blimey, shows how warm it usually is over there. Still nowhere near being above freezing here.

Our delightful small dog managed to escape under the fence but then decided it was too cold to bother and asked to be let back into the garden again

Can I pick the walnuts out of mine, please? Oh hold on, this is the tea room - walnuts are safe here! I can eat them!! Yes please...

Yes, Amber, in the tea room all food is non-allergenic, non-calorific and generally delicious. Even my famous peach and pilchard Victoria sponge!

Aaaahhhh - Sunday, tea, trainset time and silence!

I forgot to tell you all about my delightful encounter on NYE!

One of the girls involved in the fish peeing the bed Opera was a bilingual (New Yorker/Parisian) only child.

Being 12 she was at the age where she was well up for sipping her thimble of champagne diluted with a whole tumbler of water and talking with mock adult seriousness. I asked her if she had any brothers or sisters and she said "No." "And how do you feel about it?" I enquired. "Pretty happy... my friends who have brothers and sisters say they are a pain so I am not bothered. Anyway, I can't have any so why worry about ya know - ooooooh what if I had them?"

What impressed me was her confidence with adults and children, how happy she was and that we sometimes pull our hair out wondering if we are somehow disadvantaging our children by having one - when actually this only child is sooo cool, clever, fun and very fine just as she is - a real example of a well balanced and delightful only (and bilingual) child!

T42 - even being a non-doggy person, your Eccles looks lovely! The 12yo you met sounds very cool and together - how refreshing!

RS - what on earth is wrong with M.Serpent? Does he think you hit her on the quiet or something? You don't think Wriggle would have made up something to tell him like that, do you? Have a small shoulder rub as both your hands are occupied currently.

MT - kudos for being brave with MIL! We spent a couple of days over NY with MrThumb's family - MIL's sister, BIL, their grown up DD + H and their 3 DC, the youngest of whom is only 4m older than miniThumb so he had a great time. But the pair of them were running loose like loonies, getting more and more worked up and everyone was saying "Oh, he'll sleep well tonight!" (Seems to be a stock phrase in this family ) - when of course I knew damn well he would be restless as hell from being over-worked up. How right I was .

Walnut cake, you say? How lovely - ta very much. I can offer up some thick creamy hot chocolate as well - I bought too much cream so am using it to make luxury hot chocs at the moment to use it up! (Have an extra helping, Catita, to ward off the chill)

Extra creamy hot chocolate? I wonder what happens if I pour the extremely large sherry which I'm currently drinking into it. Oooh. Yummy.

I was helped with tackling MiL based on the fact that DH had commented on the fact that mistlechick was visibly less well-behaved when we moved from my parents' to his mother's... and the fact that I was fuming that apparently she was allowed to tell him off but if I told him off she told me off - anyway, we waited until he was in bed and I wasn't all worked up before tackling it and it went quite well!!! I'm really lucky in that Mrmistle and I have very similar requirements, boundaries and limimts - and take over when the other can't cope any more etc etc.

RS - sorry things are not going as smoothly for you in the MiL conversations side of things - mutually agreed plan of action with dh is the first step but it sounds as though you have some work cut out in order to achieve that.

Mistlechick has decided that he's not going to drink alcohol when he's an adult (we've said that's fine!) - but hasn't told us whether he'll drink as an adolescent unfortunately! We didn't point that out to him!

I think he's having another growth spurt - needing naps desperately, telling us that he has aching legs - seems to happen every school holidays!

MMmmm. The maple and walnut muffin has magically changed to a maple and walnut scone. With extra cream and sherry!!

I think M.Snake thinks that I am negligent, which, by his standards, I am, since I do occasionally let go of her hand in a closed room, under supervision. I realise it is not really his fault; he had a terrible upbringing and has 'ishoos'. If you met him (and I hope that one day we do meet up with Tea), he is quite ordinary and perfectly pleasant - as indeed he is most of the time. My sister (who is at present happily chatting to him) says that seeing my family makes her very happy that she doesn't have one. At least we are performing a service.

Thumb, Wriggle tends to be reastless all night if she gets too tired - I thought I was imagining it.

Anyone for a back to work tomorrow Baileys latte ?

Would M.Snake consider some counselling to help him deal with his parenting experience Racing ? It must be very stressfull for him (not to mention you) to live like this, and will only get worse as Wriggle wants to be more independant as she gets older.
My poor dads parenting was very affected by his experience, and bless him, he did his best but I do look back and wish that someone had given him some help (his mother had mental health issues all her life, until she ended it, and had a lot of attachment problems combined with a life in and out of hospital)

Pancakes with maple syrup would be good...

Sounds a good idea CMot - Mistlechick doesn't go back until Tuesday, so MrMistle needs a similar fortifying drink! I will have to tell him to try to pack up Mr Grumpy though and try to have a more positive view of the world when dealing with mistlechick - at least until its appropriate to be grumpy. Don't blame him really - been a tough year - 12 days to go for being unemployed for a whole year.

RS - I'm sure that I get looked at as negligent at times - when he is (say) 100m or more ahead on his bike (or falls off at that distance) and I come ambling up a bit later to see if any pieces need picking up; letting ds talk to 'strange' people in the park; ignoring him in soft play (most of the time at least) etc etc - but then he ALWAYS holds a hand in car parks, on busy roads, in crowds etc

Oh, lovely, a latte which I can drink as this is the tea room / arctic log cabin.

No, he wouldn't (how could he since he is right at all times?)

Back to work tomorrow!! Mellors will no doubt be thrilled to get us out from under his feet so that he can get on with whatever he normally does all day. There shouldn't be much, up here North of the Arctic Circle - no charmingly overgrown garden, no beehives, no Earl Grey to muck out ... even the NMB's have been very quiet recently.

Racing - I don't want to speak out of turn, but Cmot is absolutely right. If MonsieurSerpent continues to project his issues onto you and Wriggle, things won't improve and will get worse as Wriggle gets older and wants more autonomy. Of course we don't really know his situation or yours, but I do feel desperately worried that [what sounds like] his unresolved issues and need for counselling are controlling family life.

I don't do latte, but a Bailey's hot chocolate would be very nice. And there still seem to be some maple muffins, scones and pancakes left for anyone who wants a bedtime snack.

What ho tearoomers!
Make mine a large latte please, with chocolate sprinkles ta very much.

Having just seen the Observer's report on the bad weather in Britain and just come off the phone with my mum, who is snowed up at the mo, I gather that my cold woes are nothing compared to you lot in the UK. It looks bloody freezing. Still, I'd be happier with some heating. We tried in vain to ut a heater today, but the ones on offer are so tiddly they woouldn't warm a box room. And we would live in a large open plan bungalow with no doors except on the bathroom and bedroom [showing off emoticon] . Just what you need in the hear, not so good in the cold.

Kittenito is two on Wednesday. We're organising a party for him at nursery with his pals. Hopefully next year we'll have got to know some of the other parents and be able to invite them here.

Forgive me Racing, I didn't mean to ignore your obvious unhappiness, I just I am not sure what to say really. I think CMOT and MadBad speak wise words and I do think you sound rather unhappy at the mo (and have done for a wee while). It sounds lilke M. Le Serpent does't want to take responsability for his behaviour. And, unfortunately you can't do too much about that. Does he know how difficult he is making it for you? Or does he choose not to notice?

I don't have any words of advice to offer, RS, that haven't been offered by much wiser TeaRoomers than I... so if someone needs to let go of your hand I'll take over (will rub back, too). (((((*HUG)))))?

Happy Birthday to Kittenito, if I forget Weds .k

Jackbaby is getting his bottom two-year-molars, poor boo. He sits there with his entire hand in his mouth, massaging his gums and drooling. He's been a little cranky with it, but he's such a trooper when teething, really, I can't complain at all.

I do second those who say that their l.o.'s don't sleep well after over-exertion... JB doesn't, for certain!

More maple syrup on baked goods, anyone? Or is it Bolly-o'clock?

Bolly, please, JM, I'm all sweet-stuffed-out, having been sitting next to the Giant Hotel Chocolat Box Of Gorgeousness for the last half hour. Although I may have to adopt the Southern Spanish tablecloth as described by RS (fantastic mental image there) in order to keep myself warm while drinking it.

Brr.

Today was going to be me and DD hanging around waiting for a dishwasher to be delivered and installed. It turned into taking in our neighbour's DD (my DD's classmate) while her brother went (on his birthday, poor sausage) to another neighbour while aforementioned neighbour threw up all day. Fed both girls lunch, then tea to the brother as well (rather nice chicken casserole which the other kids demolished and DD picked at, gah). Oh, and the dishwasher was delivered, but installed by my dad due to erm, slight misunderstandings on DH's behalf.

Still, just confirmed once more that I am not cut out to have more than one child - something about them interacting with each other ALL DAY LONG (well, 10.30 to 6.00 in the end) I find really draining.

And when they shut the cats in DD's bedroom for a laff, that was quite draining too.

Did someone mention Bolly?

MBBaby is another one who gets too tired to sleep. She is still not fully recovered from staying up extremely social services ought to be alerted late on New Year's Eve and it's school tomorrow.

Must go and sew on some name tapes, but will just pause to parcel up one of the reindeer skin throws to mail to Catita. We have plenty here and can easily spare one.

Cin, cin!