Tea Room the Tenth: Tea and cake and rock and roll

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Welcome back to the tea room.

In the search for the perfect venue, we have now decamped to a rambling country estate. The once-decaying castle, now restored, is a boutique hotel, popular with rock and roll gentry and visiting bishops, and the tea room (which never closes) is located in a tastefully converted barn. The charming garden contains a duck pond and ends in a haha. We need the haha, of course, to stop the bison trampling the herbaceous borders. Mellors the gardener is, as ever, in charge of the grounds.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

Of course, have you not found the champagne section in the wine cellar yet? Its well stocked!

I've also done a M&S shop, they've some wonderful brunch/picnic type food. Help yourself!

Helps Amber out, can't have her falling over the parapet, it'd make a mess on the terrace! Makes Amber a cup of tea and sits her down, with a box of belgian chocolates (don't sit ON them Amber!)

I'd love to have some champagne, thank you!

MadBad, I would love to wear skirts and dresses more. BUT I find that few of them are breastfeeding-friendly and they don't work well for my job. When I work on my patients' necks, I sit behind them on a stool with knees apart. You get the idea.
So dresses are a rare occasion for me.

Phew - thanks!

Not sure this pulling dresses over my head thing is working out too well!

There's a champagne section in the cellar?!

To the right, down the stairs and then another right. Bring back a few bottles, would you? Thanks!!

Are you sure?! Seemed to be Mellors getting into his Butler's outfit, or rather he was before the door opened on him. I'm sure there's more crockery somewhere though. And who'd ever think there could be a crockery cupboard of that size, eh?

Oh...THAT "turn right"! Sorry...!

Oh dear. I'm sorry my fashion tip was such a disaster. What a relief that Amber didn't come to serious harm . And Jacksmama, I was forgetting the bf aspect. Or the legs akimbo at work aspect . Maybe I won't be working for Vogue after all!

Anyway, Mellors has just got the Aga fired up (and not just the Aga, apparently ). I've been baking so here are some cheese straws and olives in pastry.

Is the sun over the yard arm yet?

Amber, it may have been my fault - I get left and right mixed up all the time. Bit awkward at work when people tell me their left side hurts and I stand there for a second remembering that left and right reverse depending on whether they're face up or face down.

The sun is in theory very far from the yard arm here... but as it's pissing down with rain and is dark as night out at noon, I can pretend!! Hand over the... oh, surprise me!

Isn't about time we had some bolly? It must be, well, days since we had some.

yard arm, checked, not a glimmer of sun to be seen.
Wish us luck, boy is trying dummy free tonight... maybe not the BEST night as he has to be up early for preschool, but hey ho, he was keen. the bribe of a USB mouse if he manages it has spurred him into it. What ho, I'm sure I remeber bribing him with 3 sweeties not so long ago, now we are up to computer accesories, and hes still only 3. ooops. He tried a mouse out today and liked it and it came in red.

Champange supper is going down well I see, Bacon* butties, champers and chocolate foundue to follow. Bliss.

• mock bacon for those who don;t do teh real stuff , natch.

I think this tea room reminds me of teh Whale Tail Cafe, an eatery I used to frequent in Lancaster many years ago. A veggie cafe that did huge mugs of tea and great breakfasts/ brunches. I used to gather there on a sunday morning with some friends for brunch, papers and gallons of tea to ward off the hangovers.

What is a bacon buttie?
(Sounds yummy.)
I had a good chuckle at the thread about "what British foods should this American try". We can get loads of British foods here but I have to confess I am not brave enough to try Marmite. Or tripe. Or haggis. Or blood pudding. Or...

I wonder, who was more surprised, Amber or Mellors?

A bacon buttie is a hot bacon sandwich - the buttie is the bread with the butter melting by the heat of the bacon.

I like marmite, and black pudding. Tried haggis and didn't like it. Never tried tripe. Or jellied eels...

Where's the bolly, is there a bottle open, or have I got to send Amber to jump on disturb Mellors again?

A fine example of a bacon butty

Mary - Is it wise to send Amber in search of Mellors? Whenever those two meet, at least one of them is less than fully attired.

Anyway, thanks to the magic of the tea room, this bottle is never empty. What would you prefer - a glass or a straw?

Yes, I really can't explain it! All I wanted was for him to put up that set of shelving and help me with a little light tennis/swimming, and there seem to be all manner of clothing-less mixups. Shocking, really. And very draughty in castles.

Straw for me please!

Pleeeaaaase

Colleague and I were only discussing today the joys of wearing dresses for work. V good on days when you have to be up and dressed by 4.30am as there is much less chance of a wardrobe malfunction.

I like black pudding, but not marmite or haggis. DS likes all of those, strange child that he is

I do agree about the benefits of dresses vis a vis avoidance of wardrobe malfunction, but have to recognise that there are some situations - bf, playing the cello - when they might create malfunctions of their own.

I loathe marmite but love twiglets. DH is adamant that twiglets are covered in marmite but I am equally adamant that they are different (even if similar) and have a different taste. Anyone care to adjudicate?

I've heard its the bowing action, causes all sorts of problems.

I have to admit, I'm with your DH, MadBad (albeit only metaphorically, don't want to start rumours!). I think it was baldrick that created his own twiglets by dipping sticks in Marmite??

May I have a glass of champange, rather than a bucket? No, no, mellors, just one glass, no need to build a tower of them.Thank you.
why, mellors, you look cold.... is it really necessary to wear coller and cuffs but no shirt? , Oh, I see! well if you insist. each to his own.
Haggis butties are a bit good too. cold haggis ( the day after a haggis dinner) sliced and sandwiched in white bread with plenty of butter. kinda spicy rich pressed cold meat alike. Now a haggis supper is something different again, that is thick slices of haggis deep fried in batter, served with chips, best eaten out of the paper of course accompanied by a can of irn bru. Battered mars bar or creme egg to follow ( or maybe jam buttie).

Just thinking about it is making me hungry. I say, mellors old chap. would you be a love and rustle up a round of deep fried battered jam butties.

Unis drags herself away from the calories reluctantly... Its OK, mellors DID put an apron on while he was cooking... Hot oil can be very dangerous on bare skin.

NIght all

Props MadBad upp on the sofa, and tries not to faint also as Mellors turns to the (pistachio coloured) aga!!

Howdy! I seem to have got lost from the yurt.. but here we are, and I have brought refreshments! Brandy and ginger ale - separately or together?

I also made a faux pas on the school run last week and wore my pink crocks.... yes, I did. [deep shame]

Oh dear. I wonder will they have all forgotten by mid term?

OOh, Zazen successfully followed the crumb trail and is here, hooray!

Now - first a wee snifter of brandy - thank you - and my offerings on skirts etc.
You CAN sit legs akimbo in a skirt so long as it is a full gathered skirt - I used to play the cello (badly) and have several skirts and dresses that it works well with, because of the amount of flowing material. I have to wear full skirts anyway, being of the waistless variety, pencil/narrow skirts look riDICulous on me. If the skirt is of a jersey type material then it will hang nicely as well, rather than getting all sticky-outy at the sides.

am pmsl at the clothing ishoos re. Amber and Mellors - it's getting a tad out of hand!

MadBad, I'm sorry but I also believe twiglets are covered in marmite. I don't mind marmite in minute quantities, infinitely prefer bovril, love proper haggis, wouldn't touch tripe or jellied eels if you paid me and can't eat black pudding any more because it is made from pig blood, although I used to like it before I discovered that most things pig make me ill (amazingly, and luckily, not bacon - something in the curing seems to make it different).

oooh, dribbling over a bacon buttie thought now - am off to make one for my breakfast