Tea Room the Tenth: Tea and cake and rock and roll

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Welcome back to the tea room.

In the search for the perfect venue, we have now decamped to a rambling country estate. The once-decaying castle, now restored, is a boutique hotel, popular with rock and roll gentry and visiting bishops, and the tea room (which never closes) is located in a tastefully converted barn. The charming garden contains a duck pond and ends in a haha. We need the haha, of course, to stop the bison trampling the herbaceous borders. Mellors the gardener is, as ever, in charge of the grounds.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

come come ladies, you are forgetting Rule 1 of the Tearoom - all cakes are calorie-free in here!

That is Rule 2. I thought you were going to remind us of Rule 1, which is no fisticuffs.

Right, I'm off the cake and onto the wine.

oh is it?

I thought the non-calorific cakes was marginally more important than the no fisticuffs...
Still, desired effect achieved

Thanks - could I please have a straw too?

By the way, gymbunny slapped me [tattletale emoticon].
I asked for it, but still - you didn't need to take me so literally!!

HOT CROSS BUNS... ohh yes please. I too adore HCBs, and the best ones are home made and not with plain flour as Delia would have us do it, but with strong ( bread) flour. I could have slapped my relations at Easter who didn;t fall on my HCBS with cries of joy and delight, and as I was ( in laws) company I felt I shouldn't scoff them all myself.

Curious that teh teacherly types think this place is like teh staff room, I'm reminded of the green room but with slightly fewer loveies having queeny fits ... .

You're right, really, Thumb. The no fisticuffs rule is a relic from the founding of the thread, when there was some argy-bargy about whether one child families deserved a thread of their own. And there was one more incident (possibly before your time) when some people arrived here with no intention apart from shouting very loudly. But it probably is a bit redundant now. Or so I hope!

Where's that Bolly got to?

Ooops sorry Jacksmama , took your request for a bracing slap too literally. You are welcome to virtually fisticuff me right back, or instead drink my share of the icy wine. In penance I will forego my share tonight.

I am in awe of anyone, UniS, who is so familiar with the works of the Blessed Delia that they can recite the recipe without the book in front of them. Or maybe you do. This is t'interweb after all.

Jacksmama - The law may be different in Canada, but I think that in the UK, if you invite someone to spank you then you are in consenting adult territory.

Am loving the idea that this is the green room.

Good point, MadBad.

MadBad, do I spy...? I do!! It is!!!

I never got to share a green room with any one of that ilk I'm afraid. In my brief days of working in TV I was far to lowly to be allowed IN the green room, I just had to wash up the coffee mugs. Once I got into theatre work the green room was often my second home, all teh best ones had large sofa left over from show or another, A selection of stained mugs, a TV that worked but teh remote had been lost. A squawk box on teh wall relaying the sound from stage and Calls so you knew when you had to abandon the paper and rush off to do your 2 minutes of scene changing before resuming a horizontal position. The poshest one I ever got to frequent had 2 floors ( a mezzanine with kitchen and dining tables!) Sofas that were NEW and a door to the atrium ( smokers corner). Also came witha wardrobe mistress who baked FAntastic ckaes and biscuits and some very good first night parties.

PS- I don't KNOW delia by heart, I print from internet when I want one of her recipes, tried her HCB one and decide to tweak it a bit, so I just remember the tweak.
Mums chocolate brownie recipe I probably do know by heart now.

UniS - That still sounds glamorous to me!

Have you had a glass of Bolly?

I did, but the bubbles went up my nose, then I snorted it down both nostrils in a tres elegant fashion.

I'm clearl;y not very good at descriptive writing, teh essential squalor of the green room didn;t come through did it.
How about teh one we created on Pantomime season, the existing crew room ( about 6 fot x 10 foot wasn;t going to be big enough for a crew and cast of 30ish. So an area of the scene dock was partitioned off with flatage ( stock scenery) ,including the kitchenette area ( microwave, fridge, coffee mugs and sink) and a table and chairs installed. Lovely, except that the OTHER half of teh scene dock was teh temporary stable for the rather smelly shetland ponies which pulled Cinderellas coach. In gaps between shows ( 2 or 3 a day ) one would find stage crew asleep on the ware house like tab ( theatrical name for curtain) shelves along one wall of the dock a bit like triple decker bunk beds.

I did, but the bubbles went up my nose, then I snorted it down both nostrils in a tres elegant fashion.

I'm clearl;y not very good at descriptive writing, teh essential squalor of the green room didn;t come through did it.
How about teh one we created on Pantomime season, the existing crew room ( about 6 fot x 10 foot wasn;t going to be big enough for a crew and cast of 30ish. So an area of the scene dock was partitioned off with flatage ( stock scenery) ,including the kitchenette area ( microwave, fridge, coffee mugs and sink) and a table and chairs installed. Lovely, except that the OTHER half of teh scene dock was teh temporary stable for the rather smelly shetland ponies which pulled Cinderellas coach. In gaps between shows ( 2 or 3 a day ) one would find stage crew asleep on the ware house like tab ( theatrical name for curtain) shelves along one wall of the dock a bit like triple decker bunk beds.

sorry. sorry.

sorry. sorry.

Arrrgh, one glass of non virtual wine and I can;t post sensibly. I'll go away now.

Aww, UniS. Don't run away. All of us post double from time to time. (See mine earlier).

Don't go UniS I was getting all sort of Luvved Up at your Theatre talk. I never got near a Green Room at all - not even pale pistachio

Now, if JM would just get out of the ha-ha and let poor George into the room we could all chat and celebrate.

I am feeling a bit Patsy from Ab Fab today

MadBad - out of interest - why didn't you try on the Daughters Wouldn't Wear Jeans since they sound a bit of a god send?

Daisy - I am Patsy. Where do you think I got my Bolly fixation? You are HM The Queen.

The jeans. Well, you see, in the inner recesses of my mind I am actually a gorgeous young thing, wearing skinny jeans on my endless and shapely legs. I couldn't quite bring myself to try on jeans which are on a display proclaiming "Middle Aged Women!! These Jeans Are Reinforced With Girders And Will Hold In Your Lard!!" Perhaps if I put a paper bag on my head? I may sneak off to Oxford Street - I think I saw them in Debenhams - and will have to bribe anyone who sees me there Not To Tell.

PS Anyone seen Amber today? I hope she isn't still wrestling with her Dongle. (Which I thought was quite rude until I heard a nice man discussing Dongles on the wireless this afternoon).