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One-child families

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Original poster

"It's almost like your family isn't complete unless you have more that one..." Imogen Edwards-Jones comments in the ES

36 replies

CrushWithEyeliner · 11/06/2009 14:07

She goes on to say; "You're playing at being Mummy you've dipped your toe in the water but haven't really plunged in and embraced the total chaos of parenthood".

I just find comments like this attribute the the negative assumptions associated with and broadcast about one child families. Her quote really sums up every myth and stereotype about Parents who have one child. It makes me so that she infers that we are not Mothers in the true sense somehow, or that we haven't "embraced chaos" - er she should have led my life for the last 2 yrs .

By all means if you desire another go for it but please don't put your negative shi* on me, I don't feel it - I am so happy with my life and Family and feel utterly complete thank you.

rant over!

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edam · 11/06/2009 14:08

Stupid woman. Does she think there's some kind of sliding scale - are parents of three 'better' than parents of two? Do people with ten get some kind of award?

brimfull · 11/06/2009 14:12

waht a stupid arrogant attitude,nevermind the fact that many people have no choice about it

Original poster
CrushWithEyeliner · 11/06/2009 14:32

I wish I had the link - was yesterdays ES. I just thought it was appalling - glad not just me!

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 11/06/2009 14:32

How utterly arrogant of her! So I'm not really a mother if I don't have a whole heap of children and utter chaos? I've just been "playing" for the past 15 years have I? I'll have to ask DS if he thinks he has a real mother or not. Perhaps he thinks only feeding one baby, only changing one set of nappies, only going through nursery and primary school and secondary school and music lessons and exams just the once isn't really enough.

Maybe I should have treated him as just "practice" and then done it properly with another child ...

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/06/2009 14:35

Who the frig is Imogen Edwards-Jones anyway?

I hate this kind of assumption. It is always the same old bone-headed comments such as 'oh I think having one child is just selfish' and 'your dd will grow up spoilt and unable to share'.

DeepGoat · 11/06/2009 14:35

perhaps i have only dipped my toe into teh water with only having one surname perhaps i need to hyphenate myself to fully experience the rapture of being fully up my own arse.

please do not take the views of someone called Imogen Edwards-Jones seriously.

Original poster
CrushWithEyeliner · 11/06/2009 14:37

What was odd was the initial upthrust of the article was her infertility, she eventually conceived one daughter and I thought she was going to be really positive about this and share her story and give hope to other Mums - what it turned into was a kind of smugness that she was then able to have another thank god, as shock horror she would end up with only one.
I am happy for her that she was able to have another if that was her desire, but please don't slam other Mums for being this or that to make yourself feel better.

really really odd - that is what I took from it anyway.

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 11/06/2009 14:38

Link here

It's an article by someone who fought long and hard to have one baby, and never thought she would have another - but did. So it is very directed from that standpoint

georgiemum · 11/06/2009 14:39

Who is this harpie?

DeepGoat · 11/06/2009 14:41

actually i am v. happy for her. it is a nice story. i do know what she means.

AMumInScotland · 11/06/2009 14:46

She reckons her first is "a little bit spoilt, a little bit clingy and little bit precocious". If her child was turning out that way, maybe she needs to consider how her parenting was contributing to that, rather than blame family size. But I'm happy for her that she managed to get pregnant again, when it was clearly something she desparately wanted. Maybe now she's happier with her life, she won't feel the need to spoil and pamper her children, and they'll both grow up into lovely balanced people. And she'll no doubt tell everyone that's because she didn't stop at just one...

WoTmania · 11/06/2009 14:47

erm....I read it more as her feelings on having one rather than that people who have the one aren't real parents IYSWIM.

georgiemum · 11/06/2009 14:48

Well, if the first is always a bit spoilt then it doesn't matter if they are only ones or not.

Mum was an only and DS is likely to remain one. I am from a big family, so was dad. I don't really see the difference - it depends on how the family works (or not in some cases).

ljhooray · 11/06/2009 22:16

Sorry WoTmania but just read the article and the section or should I say narrow minded rant on not being a real parent made my blood boil. Utterly unnexcessary and v insensitive

ljhooray · 11/06/2009 22:20

actually just realised the one child families topic is in being a parent - perhaps we shoudl request it's moved to a 'not yet qualified' section

Mulanmum1 · 12/06/2009 00:04

Imogen EdwardshyphenJones is pregnant with her second child, so she isn't actually a mother of two yet despite her protestations.

It's a vile article - offensive on so many levels. (And someone ought to tell Imogen that she needs to use sunblock!)

I've come to loathe the One Child Topic as it's full of the kind of crap spouted in the article. I think I'll join Gunnerbean and flounce to more life-affirming topics

WoTmania · 12/06/2009 08:20

ljhooray I did read it differently.
As in her feelings not that she was saying it applies to everyone.
This bit:

'Yet there was always the lurking longing for another. It is almost like your family isn't really complete unless you have more than one.
You're ?playing? at being mummy, you've dipped your toe in the water but you haven't really plunged in and embraced the total chaos of parenthoodparent.'

She says that while she pretended she was happy about just the one this was how she really felt.

WoTmania · 12/06/2009 08:30

that should read
'I did read it but read it differently'

MrsTittleMouse · 12/06/2009 08:44

I actually have a completely different point of view - I see having one child as being very, well, romantic in a way. I felt that I could parent one child properly, whereas, by definition almost, I now have to shortchange two children.

Mind you, I have a small age gap and I'm currently in the chaotic mess of a toddler and a baby and no sleep and running around trying to stimulate the eldest while trying to get the baby to nap, and never being able to leave them for a second in case the joyous enthusiasm of DD1 for DD2 actually injures DD2 this time. I think that Imogen Edward-Jones is in for a rude awakening.

Having said all that, I think that two is the right number for us, but I certainly don't think that it's the holy grail of parenting (which is one boy followed by one girl, right? ).

Original poster
CrushWithEyeliner · 12/06/2009 08:55

The "playing at being mummy" comment is just SO offensive to me. I know it is no impact on me as I love my family and am v happy but the fact that there are people who think this crap about me and those like me just makes me

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SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 08:59

She's not putting her negative shite on you, she's expressing what her feelings were as a parent of an only child.

BonsoirAnna · 12/06/2009 09:00

I E-J is immensely tiresome... I was at University at the same time as her and she was already intensely self-obsessed and totally unaware of anyone else...

SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 09:00

I think the article has been spaced badly (possibly deliberately) and I think the "it's almost like..." is meant to apply to the "playing at mummy" sentence too.

Original poster
CrushWithEyeliner · 12/06/2009 09:05

sounds about right from her writing Anna

OP posts:
nannyogg · 12/06/2009 09:08

It's her story, but I think it's badly written.

Fair enough, she felt like she was 'playing at being Mummy, dipping her toe in the water yaddah yaddah', that's her opinion.

But to me it really reads as though this is what all parents of only children feel like.

And this:

"One is easy. You can travel with one. You can take one out to lunch. You can give one your undivided attention. And with both parents in work you can more or less provide for one....They are a little bit spoilt, a little bit clingy and little bit precocious"

Is a generalisation no matter how you look at it.