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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

Anyone genuinely not mind not having anymore?

31 replies

Cavycare · 06/12/2008 21:18

It seems there's a lot of reasons why people can have the one child, health or partner doesn't want another one or money. But is there anyone that actually does not want anymore and their partner/hubby doesn't either and have no regrets and no guilt and their child is happy and wouldn't want a sibling anyway?

I am glad we have one, dd isn't bothered she has no interest in babies. Even though I have health problems I could risk having another one but why put myself through that.
Everyone gets broody it's only natural, it's natures way of wanting you to reproduce.
My dd is 9 I am 31 and she is practically reared now and we are so over all that baby stage, it was such a pain being so tied down all the time.
We don't want another one and there's no other reason behind it other than we simply don't want anymore, one is enough.

Anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:

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BoccaDellaNativita · 06/12/2008 22:11

Yes, sort of. We always hoped to have two children but, once we had been through massive fertility problems and a lot of interventions to have our child, having a baby at all felt like an enormous blessing. I had a little wibble when our child was about one and people we'd known at ante-natal group were beginning to get pregnant again but, that apart, we're content and don't fret about not having more.

idlingabout · 07/12/2008 17:54

Yes I am happy with just the one and have/had no intention of having any more. I can also state quite categorically that I have never, ever been broody. DP has though, which is why we have a child

Vicky31 · 07/12/2008 19:26

I am happy with one and don't want another (ds is only 1 but I really don't think I'll change my mind). Dh though thinks we should have another child, as does nearly everyone else I speak to. Apparently it is not fair to deprive my ds of a sibling blah blah blah. This is mainly the reason why dh wants another but I know he would dread doing the early months again so I hope he can reconcile to being happy with one - I would find it difficult to stick to my guns if he was unhappy. There is a lot of pressure on women to have more than one child.

It's good to hear from those who are happy with one child

nancy75 · 07/12/2008 19:29

more than happy with one, no reason not to have another, just that neither dp or i really want to. constantly getting the ooh when s the next one? question, get very odd looks when i say there wont be another one!

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 07/12/2008 19:31

Me!

I got sterilised when dd was 4 as we both knew we didn't want anymore.

DD, now 7 went through a stage of asking for a brother or sister but now one of her friends has got a little brother she says she's glad she hasn't got one.

mysterymachine · 07/12/2008 21:29

Im quite happy with just the one as well. Dh has two grown up children from previous marriage and we are happy now with our DS. I feel that I can financially cope/provide for one and if I had another then I wouldn't be able to give this one the things I want to give - music/dancing/sport etc.
I don't think there is anything wrong in having only one child and we certainly shouldn't be frowned upon by those who think all families should be 2.4 children.

RebeccaX · 09/12/2008 07:49

Another happy to be a mum of one here! I really enjoy being a family of three and have no desire for another child. I think it's a British thing to obsess about the need for a child to have siblings - in other European countries one child families are the norm

sellorrenovate · 09/12/2008 08:02

Furball · 09/12/2008 08:11

We only have the one ds now 7. Both of us (luckily) didn't want any more. DS about a year ago asked about a brother but as soon as I said you can't guarantee a boy it may be a GIRL, he changed his mind

jollyoldstnickschick · 09/12/2008 08:33

i have 3 so really shouldnt comment but my friend has just the one and when asked if shes going to have another she say 'you cant improve on perfection' i think thats lovely

Gunnerbean · 09/12/2008 21:42

Yes, we only have one out of choice and it's a choice we've never ever regretted.

When I had a pregnancy scare about 4 years ago whilst using the coil my DH was straight up to the doctors arranging a vasectomy - thats how much we didn't want another child and the thought that we could be having another didn't change our minds. Luckily it was a only a scare but it toally brought home to us how much we really didn't want another and we decided to do what was necessary to make sure we wouldn't.

Our DS is 8 now and actually thinks he's lucky not to have any siblings. He's got cousins around his age who he's very close to and lots of friends so he doesn't want for company from peers. He enjoys the best of both worlds - lots of company with children his age but lots of time to himself doing what he wants and having our undivided attention too.

He's very fortunate and so are we. He's never been a moments trouble to us and is an absolute joy so I can totally relate to the "you can't improve on perfection" theory

Tclanger · 10/12/2008 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bucharest · 10/12/2008 11:26

Me!
I do like to bill and coo over newborns...and then I remember all those 18mth old moments where you have even less time than when they were newborns because you're terrified they're going to launch themselves down the stairs, or put their heads in the oven and they're covered in food all the time, and you can't get them potty trained and the whole Thomas Tank obsession starts and they like to screammmmmmm a lot and......
Nope. Per-fickly happy thank you!

LilRedWG · 10/12/2008 11:26

Some days I'm desperate for another and other days I'm happy with DD. I know DH wants another. We may adopt.

Daisy15 · 12/12/2008 21:46

I'm very happy to have one and have one for the rest of my life. It was my decision to become a mum of one. When i say this to people i get the impression that they don't believe me, that one day i'll want another but to perfectly honest i know deep down i love my dd soooo much and having children isn't my aim in life.

Pantofino · 12/12/2008 21:53

I'm 40 with a nearly 5 yo. Sometimes I get a bit broody, but I think:

DH is 51, I'll have to stay in work if dd wants to go to University. (When really I want to retire not too long after him, to enjoy the time before he gets too decrepid)

DH really doesn't want another (though we had a scare and he was happy to go with the flow)

Dd was a really good baby, so sod's law dictates I will get a screamer this time round.

There are even more health risks, and I just can't be doing with the getting up in the night stuff again.

I'm too old, busy and tired.

Doesn't stop me from feeling all gooey though when dd asks for a little brother....

mikeysmom · 13/12/2008 00:27

I totally agree with you and feel the same way ( Cavycare). My husband and I are at the point where we just don't think we could ever go back to the baby stage, buying diapers, formula, being up all hours....we are definatly set on one child. We have a 3.9 year old and its nice that he can communicate well, potty, etc...Sometimes (and we have debated since he was 2 about should we have another one) we think we should of had another but in the long run I think your sanity prevails and you realize you don't have to have more than one. They'll be fine. They'll have friends....I take him to a playgroup because for a while I was worried he wouldn't get along with other kids, but he did fine so that made me feel better.

mikeysmom · 13/12/2008 00:31

I also want to ad- I really really REALLY hate when people comment "your not having anymore?"...why is that so ridiculous? I think people pop them out for peer pressure, family pressure...its just wrong

mikeysmom · 13/12/2008 00:31

LindzDelirium · 16/12/2008 11:36

we only ever planned one, and DD really doesn't want siblings so it works well for us, there's no reason we just don't want any more.

Army of Three - and happy.

TreeandMistleJoe · 16/12/2008 13:41

totally feel this way. ds is only 16 months but i honestly just quite like the one child family dynamic that we have at the moment. anymore and your whole life is taken over by planning activities, everything becomes a whole lot more stressful, holidays, meals, one on one time with each of them. the thought of having another actually makes me feel quite panicked and scaredm maybe as ds was a difficult baby and have only just seen the light at the end of the tunnel. really don't want to go through it all over again, think it would tip the balance a bit. i love that i can focus all my energy on to him and not have to put up with squabbling siblings making things so much harder. ds is happy (so far) and dh was an only child an loved it, never wanted siblings so really hoping my ds will be the same. it would feel so wrong having another baby just because ds wanted a baby brother or sister, almost like getting him a 'pet' or something, it really wouldn't feel right.

TreeandMistleJoe · 16/12/2008 13:44

oh and mikeysmom, every single time i see any of my friends or family, they autimatically ask 'so when's number 2 planned for then?' grrrrrrrrrrr....... never! they all seem quite shocked as if i'm inhuman for only wanting one child.

0403JACQUI · 16/12/2008 13:46

Hi - I am new to this as well. Just read some of your comments. I have 1 DD who is 10. I was sure I never wanted any more ( 1 was shock enough!)until i reached 40 (DD was then 8) and would possibly have liked another, but it was only my body clock shouting. I think if I had wanted any I would have had another when she was about 3. Theres nothing wrong with having just 1 - whatever is right for YOUR family always works best!!

stuffmyturkey · 16/12/2008 13:51

I have this fantasy about what life would be like with one child and you are all building it up -- STOP PLEASE!

(too late for me and the little darlings of course..)

BoccaDellaNativita · 16/12/2008 22:36

Would any of you like a glass of wine? The tea room is open and we are currently dancing to Barry Manilow (who is, like, so totally cool).

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