Would anyone like a cup of tea and a muffin?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

I'm tired and in need of refreshment.

The tea room is now officially open, serving hot chocolate, tea, freshly-squeezed orange juice and a range of home-baked muffins. Tablecloths and crockery are charmingly mismatched antiques (no Cath Kidston here). We overlook an attractive although somewhat overgrown garden, with a distant view of rolling countryside.

Everyone is welcome but house rules dictate that anyone indulging in fisticuffs will be ejected.

Please come in.

TEA!!!!!! Hi honey!!!!
Did you have a good time? Was it sunny? Tell all!

DS and I walked around Fairhaven all afternoon. It was gorgeous out, mild and sunny with intermittent cloud, mild breeze coming in off the ocean. Fab shops and cafes, and very homey small-town American architecture. Nothing really tempted me to open my wallet, however - tried on a pair of shoes that looked much more exciting than they actually were (too flimsy to pay $US 85 for). But I did buy a silicone muffin pan in a lovely fire-engine red colour so I can make more almond muffins for the cafe! Realized, strolling along window-shopping, that I am in the very happy position of having everything I need and most of what I want. Isn't that lovely? (I do have a small Christmas wish list, however...)

Bye for now, may pop in later... but as it is nearly 2 am in the UK and 3 am in France, if I find any of you here there had better be booze and dancing on tables!
Night darlings!

Jasper Conran, Tunisia, Fairhaven !!! I ask you...

OK OK it's not your fault,

RIGHT, seized with sudden gusto, covering each hand with a crotcheted loo roll cover in case of germs, Daisy pulls on stiletto foot in each hand and yanks....

OUT COMES......

WAIT FOR IT

oh, the pressure!!

A blow up inflatable doll!!

Of The Baby Whisperer!!!!

Oh, look, there are instructions on the back...

Please take care of this full size, inflatable Baby Whisperer. Programmed to pick up and put down 10,000,000 a night wihtout complaint

Guaranteed to snore, burp and laugh maniacally at appropriate moments.

Likes gin

Dislikes carrot soup....

Well, that's one mystery solved then

I shall deflate her and pack her in a corner behind the aspidestra (unless anyone wants a go??)

No, Bocca dear, how about some nice parsnip and butternut squash soup today?

Heads off for counter and pours large coffee with slightly shaking hand....

Welcome back T42!

I've taken a peep outside and the storm seems to be over (says she with fingers and eyes crossed). Think I'll hang on for lunch and then might venture outside and change my name back.

Think this place needs some Cath Kidston so I'll see what I can pick up if I do go out.

So glad that we've established the identity of the mystery guest but I think we must all remember the first rule fo the tea room, which is that we must never say anything unkind or potentially libellous. Actually, that's the second rule. First rule is that MadBad makes the rules and I'm here to enforce them.

I really can't stand parsnips but as an act of goodwill I have made a steaming pan of parship and butternut squash soup as requested. Here you are!

Who else would like lunch?

LUNCHEEEE!! as my DS says for every meal

Thanks Bocca, sorry if the rib poke was a bit too hard

And def agree re the libel. I would never ever wish to say anything harmful or rude or open to misinterpretation

and I love you all

especially MadBad

I might just go and chill with the hubbly bubbly for a second

My Bocca, what fine fine soup

you are a love

So glad you're enjoying the soup. I couldn't bring myself to taste it but, once again, the ingredients all came from the organic farm just down the lane. Enjoy!

And what a beautiful antimacassar. Did you embroider it yourself?

I went to see MadBad last night at the MN State Home for the Bewildered. She didn't say much - just sighed a little - but she seems happy there and will be starting a basket-weaving class tomorrow as part of her recovery. She sends her love.

Yes, I did the antimacassar. I was always fond of a bit of needlepoint me.

Poor old MadBad. Perhaps we should send her an inflated/ inflatable doll for company? Or might that make her too excited/ excitable

Needlepoint? Really? I have a half-finished cushion cover here - rather tasteful William Morris Strawberry Thief pattern - which I started long before I was pregnant. Could you come and lend me a hand?

MadBad is extremely happy watching Casino Royale on a loop and wordlessly enjoying Daniel Craig's pectorals. I don't think she'd be interested in a deflated inflatable woman. Try the fetish topic if you want to dispose of it. It's not the sort of thing we can put on the Christmas craft table.

I'm losing the plot here - are MadBad and Bocca one and the same?

RebeccaMulan - I have just been ch ch ch checking out your Cath Kidson thingswww.cathkidston.co.uk/!!!!

WOW!!!!

Seriously lady - THAT really is some serious serious hard core Mummy porn!!! It is up there with Toast www.toast.co.uk/!!!

Well... if I ever write a yummy Mummy style novel and it is a big seller and The Observer Review or Red magazine ask to picture me with my dear family in my tumble down apartment. I will first rush out and buy lots of Cath Kidson things, put some biscuits in the oven, a little rouge on all of our cheeks and of course a special smile on my face that says "Oh yes - we always live like this!"

But... because that is very very unlikey to happen lets feed the need to be cosy and cute by decorating the tea shop with her designs. Can this cup be mine RebeccaMum - www.cathkidston.co.uk/p-11809-cath-kidston-rambling-rose-crush-mug.aspx???

pssssssssst do say hello to Mulanmum for me!!!

MadBad went was stretchered away and I have assumed her responsibilities in the tea room. I am not at liberty to say any more, as it might breach the confidentiality of MadBad's medical record at the MN State Home for the Bewildered.

poor old MadBad and I thought the smell of old rubber might make her feel more at home

Come on Bocca throw over your William Morris, while not an arts and crafts girl myself I might be able to help with your tent stitch... oh I can see the tension is all wrong, what were you thinking

right,camomile and spice apple for me please (tea that is) to help down the large glass of red...

Good morning... am I the first here today? (T42 Ponders over which chair to take)

DH's hobby is cooking. He spent last night fiddling in the kitchen with a cockral's leg while I nursed a school friend's broken heart on msn and wrote my Tunisia foocs report! This morning I just went into the kitchen for breakfast and there is hardly a cooking utensil, plate or bowl in the cupboards - they are piled in a massive mountain in the sink!!! OK so I think I can see what I am doing this morning before going to work! ...

Talk soon - bye!!!!

tea - Welcome again. I'm just dropping in for breakfast but must then go out again, so just help yourself snd pop the money in the honesty box.

daisy - I've gone off Morris designs a bit too, which is probably why the thing's still half-finished after, what, 8 years. But since I bought a proper tapestry frame my tension (in the stitching sense at least) is spot-on, thank you very much. The first needlepoint I did, without a frame, was so wonky that the picture framer struggled to get it back to a rectangular shape! And my tent stitch is exemplary. So there.

Has anyone watered the aspidistra lately? And why is that deflated dolly still lying on the rug? It really is about time she was got rid of.

Ok ok Bocca - stand down that tapestry needle... you wanted help, I offered help...I can see the tension flows from the stitcher to the canvas not the other way round

by way of conciliation I shall water that aspidistra and chuck out not just the dolly but the empty gin bottles

Ladies, please, a little pride and homeliness!!

Hello, whats the soup of the day please ?

Daisy, do you extend to finishing off quilts ? I have a pretty applique one that just needs all the corded edge sewing on. But as thats my least favourite bit it has been lurking around unloved for a while...

Oh, I have never done a quilt I once got keen on the Log pattern (pre babyof course) and cut up lots of bits of material and then worked out they needed a frame...

oh, long and boring story

I could sew cord if a machine is ok? I am dab hand at random machining..

so far this year have made pair of curtains and halloween outfir for DS

ok, pass the coffee and are you SURE there's nothing left in the gin bottle? Naughty Naughty Bucharest!

Mmmm ..... hadn't yet thought about soup of the day. I'd better get a move on, as I don't suppose cup-a-soup would be acceptable amongst such a discerning clientele and more customers may be along shortly. How about leek and potato? Always my favourite on a chilly day.

daisy - thanks to a vast intake of camomile tea I have achieved a zen-like state of calm and you are at no risk from my tapestry needle. I am sorry if I was over-compensating for my wounded pride at the susggestion that my stitching might be anything less than perfect. The problem is more fundamental. Despite, as a mum-of-one, having more time for leisure pursuits I still never manage to galvanise myself to pick up the needlepoint and do anything with it.

Anyone for a crusty roll and butter with their soup?

love some heinz tomato soup from tin and crusty roll and butter

don't worry Bocca re tapestry, I have one that is sheep in a field. or would be if I had done more than put the frame up

you are joking re the "more time for leisure" aren't you

No, you can't machine this edging on - to make it nice and neat it has to be hand sewn otherwise it doesn't sit up to the cord properly. I did all the piecing on business trips, but its too big to go with me now. I want to do some more smocking, but friends have failed to provide more small girls for me to make dresses for, which is most inconsiderate.

I got desperate and actually cooked some lunch - so it was veg dhal for me. My freezer is a bit low on nukem lunches, so am restocking.

Is the sun over the yardarm yet ? How about a slug of Baileys in the latte ?