Welcome to the One-child families topic

[BigTech]

Enjoy

I am getting tired now so - one song before bed to celebrate the new topic!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJxxYlcN0Is

I think this topic will be a nice place to be! Thank you Mulanmum, Justinemumsnet, Geraldinemumsnet, bigtech and everyone else!

Good night and see you all soon!

Ooh, didn't see this before posting on t'other thread. It's nice here, you all look kind of friendly which is helpful. I have a 4yr old DS. Usually when I'm asked when I'm going to have another I tend to say When Hell freezes over.

(may I have a non-alcoholic grape juice please?)

Hello everyone

I have DS (4.5) and two step-children of 20 & 21....

DH & I decided a while ago DS would be our only child together.

So I am here to stay

oh man, i should be in here. just couldnt keep my legs shut, could i??

arf

actually i blame my mother. for sound reasons. but never mind.... as you were! [bows out as really doesnt belong]

wow, our own section!

what on earth are we going to talk about

Well, we've got to talk about SOMETHING or we're going to look a bit silly after all that pleeeeading with MNHQ.

Oh no, really got good at small-talk - is there any of that champagne left?

Any champagne left? I've got some prosecco in the fridge, if we're running short.

I'm definitely here for keeps as there's absolutely no chance that we'll have any more children.

I hardly dare ask, but I'm new to MN and I'm among friends, so what on earth (or Planet MN) is a quiche? I'm assuming from the comment earlier that it's not a savoury party snack!

Hey, great topic! There's one for large families, so why not have one for us small families too?!

We have DD who is 13 months old. DH also has an 18 year old DS, who is very cool indeed (and a marvellous big brother to DD). DSS doesn't live with us though.

We decided a few months ago that we would not try for any more. DH has just turned 50, and I think he was shocked enough to celebrate his 50th, his son's 18th and his daughter's 1st birthdays all in the space of a month. LOL.

I do feel a little sad though that it is unlikely that DD will have any children of her age in either of our families. My brother and sister don't have children (and very doubtful that either will) and DH's brother has children, but they range from 18 - 30, so hardly her contempories. Any ideas on how to make family gatherings entertaining for DD in the future will be much appreciated!

Yay, well done TFT and Squeaver and everyone who posted for this, looking forward to getting to know you! Anyone is Exeter?

IN Exeter even, too much red wine here hic!

Hello all . I'm a mum of one and step-mum of one too.

I'm so relieved to read some of these posts. I'm not sure I would ever have coped with a 2nd and love the freedom I have that my friends who had 2nd babies don't.

DD has just started doing after school activities and while some of the other mums seem to drop, run, chase round after other children then hare back, I'm seriously thinking about dropping, running straight to the pub for a glass of wine and a read of the paper then strolling back in time to get dd.

What a nice surprise to log on after a day out and see we've got our own topic . Thank you Mumsnet and all the people who so eloquently advocated for our cause!

I have one DD who will soon be 4. She is adopted, not infertile as far as we know, just preferred to adopt, and am delighted to be the mum of one. Big familes give me the eebie geebies - and I'm one of 4!

Ditto to Looseleaf. DS is 2 yrs 3 months and everyone else I knew who had just the one now has two or another on the way. I'm feeling pretty left out. I don't know that I feel broody exactly (I'll find out when I meet my friend's new addition this weekend), just left out. It's a bit like I felt left out when all my friends had a baby and I couldn't get pregnant, although not as bad obviously.

I think I feel complete with just DS somehow. Also, I hated pregnancy and I hated birth even more and the only reason I would do it again would be for DS, not for me. Plus there's no way we can afford another and DH is knocking on a bit.

See, I'm even justifying myself on a one child topic thread. I think it will be good to talk with other mums who have just the one. Thanks Mumsnet!!

Hey Rindercella. My DH is 51 (and a SAHD), and has two children from a previous relationship who are pretty much grown up. They live miles and miles away though so DS hardly ever sees them.

It's tough I know. DSS is about 45 minutes away and sadly we don't get to see him so often anymore. God, he's 18 years old and has a life (far more of a social life than I do!!). He used to be with us every weekend though, so it's quite an adjustment to make.

Interesting observation that there seem to be a few of us who have decided to have just one child but also have step children. I wonder if there's something in that (wouldn't dare to make any judgements about it!)

Ooooh! A topic! Ask and ye shall receive! I'm very impressed. Got to go to bed though. Will be back tomorrow.

Yes! hello!

I'm delighted to meet you all as this may well be the only place on the planet where I don't have to justify myself as a parent of what? only one child.

DD is 4yo and occasionally she wants a big sister. So that's that then.. phew.
DD is a happy soul who chats away to everyone. She picks out the fun-est groups and people in the playground and gets on with it.

I'm a mono tasker, so my life as a mum is pretty good.

Cheers. mummm nice champagne!

Another thought...when I was pregnant with DD we both thought we would go for another child fairly quickly. But just about as soon as DD was born I realised I just wanted her. I loved being pregnant, and had a really easy birth, etc. But it really did become apparent very quickly that I didn't want to do it again.

There are a couple of reasons for it...the first is that my DD is soooo bloody perfect that we couldn't possibly replicate that perfection again - we couldn't be that lucky! Secondly, the first few months were so knackering I really don't think I could do that again. DH had just started a new job, doing lots of international travel and we don't have any close friends or family around so I was really by myself for most of the time. I like my sleep too much to do the newborn thing again. Lastly, although this may be a bit naive of me, my little girl is used to having me all of the time...I couldn't think about dividing my time with another child. Of course if it happened I would cope, but I like the dynamics just as they are (esp with DH being at home alot more now).

Cor, thanks so much MNHQ for this topic. I could go on all night...

madbad On planet MN, a quiche is a clique... I'm not sure why ... sorry for being cliquey by using it

Morning Just realised yesterday I didn't introduce myself and didn't get back on here at all last night.

We've got one beautiful, determined, exhausting but wonderful dd who is 5. I always said I'd think about no 2 when she went to school. Well, she's been at school for a year, and I still don't know

I have a long term health problem, and hadn't actually planned on having dc's. However, along came dd and I wouldn't swap her for the world! But I just don't know if I could physically cope with another one - I struggle so much just with one!

So, I'm torn. I love having just the one in so many ways, but don't know that it is necessarily easier. Holidays are an exhausting round of playing marathons where I am nearly always required to participate(!) or arranging playdates so she doesn't get lonely. We went camping this summer and there weren't any other dcs on the site. So we didn't get a chance to relax and just watch dd hurtling around with others her own age.

Oh dear, sorry for the long post.

So Hooray for our lovely new topic, and hopefully we might all get some support and advice here

Good morning - ooooh - what a mess - what a party!!! Giggles at the two mners asleep in the corner with champagne still in their hands... who are they? I am too polite to mention!!!! Wake up Justinemumsnet, wake up Geraldinemumsnet!!!!!

Oh hello hotcrosswerebunny - thanks - mmm.... delicious croissant!

The two women chat about the party -

Teafortwo confesses - I didn't know what a quiche was either - I thought it was a typo!!!!

Oh mulanmum arrived in the end! Great - I am glad she got here! - I was really sorry I had to leave before she arrived - I had a speech ready, and everything!

Teafortwo looks across the street at the new Zara advert - and notices they are plugging a t-shirt aimed at 14 year olds with Mulanmum's face on it!!!!

Teafortwo looks serious and tries something that has been bothering her a bit on Hotcrosswerebunny... So... I was wondering, when it comes to writing the history of mumsnet, do you think the chapter on the birth of the one child topic could not mention that we were inspired and brought together by an article in , whispers, D..D... stammers, coughs... ok I can say it puts brave face on.... The Daily Mail - ouch ouch!

!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol surfermum, sounds like a plan I would make.

I always used to wonder why after baby group (which ended after 4pm btw) all the 'ladies' would say, 'shall we go for a coffee at that organic cafe?'.

Did they not know there was a pub round the corner??

I have one DS he is 14 months. I'm not having any more. I had a bad pregnancy and I still have SPD. If I was younger I might wait till DS went to school and then see how I felt but I am 38 and I don't fancy doing this all again at 42. (assuming that I could)

And DH found the early baby days much harder than he expected, and worries about money since he is in a vulnerable area, so he is not pushing for another.

Sometimes I feel a little sad when I give away baby clothes that he is out of, but, on the whole I'm happy to stick at one. I'm an only myself, so its no big deal to me.

Hurray Hurray - the number of times I've looked at the large family subject heading and thought but what about us? thank you to all of you who got this up and running. I missed out on the champers last night - can we have more today? I'm 43 on Sunday and dd (6) has been trying to get me to celebrate since the beginning of the week so now I have an excuse. If anybody uses the excuse of my birthday to say "but 43 really isn't too late to have another one" I might just lump them. It took me 3 years to catch up on my sleep after the birth and I'm not going to start again now. I sometimes worry that she's lonely (she does tend to go for the sympathy vote) but I was one of 4 and was always lonely so I try to make more effort to have friends around (for both of us).

Anyway cheers to you all - I'd better go and iron my frock for this evening.